Previously, on American Idol: “Auditions 1 and 2”
Has it been a week already? I suppose it has. Welcome back to week two of auditions. I’m sitting in the same spot I was last week. I’d like to say I’ve moved – and I have – but not much. I’m wearing my “I <3 Ryan Seacrest” shirt, so it should be a good night. On to the auditions.
There’s a theme here on day 3, and it is that everybody is “doing this for Detroit.” Shut up. You’re doing it for yourself, and you know it. The only things I know about Detroit are what I learned from 8 Mile, but I’m sure given half a chance, Detroit would eat you and everyone you care about. Stop frontin’ and sing your song.
HCJ is still amusing, Keith Urban still somehow reminds me of Quagmire from Family Guy, J-Lo is late, and I still want Ryan Seacrest to voice over my life. Just as last week, there is lots of talent here, just nobody memorable by name. It’s quite possible that, subconsciously, I’m just refusing to like anyone. It sucks to get attached and then the contestants are cut before they even get anywhere. I should discuss this with a therapist. Speaking of which, there’s a lot of crazy in Detroit. Let’s not give them any more attention by discussing it here.
While J-Lo takes a potty break, HCJ gets on stage and auditions for Keith. It’s really hilarious.
Keith – Do you play any instruments?
HCJ – I play piano.
Keith – Piano? Why didn’t you bring the piano today?
HCJ – I can’t carry it. It’s too heavy. You know, it’s a piano.
Then he sings “The Star-Spangled Banner” really badly and even people off-camera are cracking up at the whole exchange.
HCJ – Are they laughing at me?
Keith – They’re not laughing at you; they’re laughing near you.
HCJ – You’re so beautiful.
And then Keith autographs Harry’s ankle. OMG, I love these two. They keep this up and it’ll be a great season.
Day 4 in Georgia brings lots more talent; lots of guitar players; and, of course, Seacrest at his mom’s house waking her up really early in the morning and her joining him at auditions. He’s such a momma’s boy. I love it.
There’s a lot of wonderful singers, but again, nobody I remember by name. Though I am kind of digging this guy, who is also named Ryan.
Give me a couple of weeks, and I’ll know everybody by name! These two cities bring the total number of contestants up to 119, and a large majority look fantastic. I’m excited to see them narrow it down. But first, I imagine there’s at least one more week of auditions. So, see ya next week!