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American Idol Recap: Hollywood Round, Week 2

Previously, on American Idol: “Hollywood Round, Week 1

Harry starts out the episode by telling everyone who complains that they’re sick before they start to sing that they need to shut the fuck up ’cause he does not care. He ain’t tryin’ to hear that, see. It’s about time somebody told them lollygaggers to knock that off.

So, anyway, tonight the top 30 are revealed. 15 boys, 15 of that other gender. Ryan demonstrates the long walk that one must take to get where the judges are sitting waiting to reveal their fates.

American Idol | The Long Walk

And I get to start learning names!! I’m only to recap the people that stand out to me. First girl in, Emily, is amazing and I don’t recall ever seeing her before. Her final performance for the judges was an acoustic song she played on piano. This is an already-on-Idol level of performance. I see her going far. The judges act like there’s a possibility she might not be in the top30, but they don’t fool me. She’s in!

Spencer Lloyd has a great voice and he’s cute, but he’s a jack-hole. We learned that during the group rounds when he chose a song only he knew and then decided he knew it well enough and refused to rehearse with the girls in his group who were not familiar with the song. He’ll probably be in the top 12, but I don’t like him.

A bunch of people get cut to the sounds of “I Won’t Give Up”, the song that made me start liking Jason Mraz. Some of them get comforted by Seacrest. I want to go on this show just so I can hug Seacrest when I cry. That’s my only dream in life. To hug him. Hey, if you don’t dream big what’s the use of dreaming.

Sam is a young boy with rosy red cheeks. He seems very shy and sweet and his final audition was a very sad original song he wrote. The song gives everyone sad eyes, including himself. I love him.

American Idol | Sam Sings

Randy Jackson shows up at some point to be useless. So it’s just like old time basically. But it does prompt this song and dance moment from Harry and Keith, and it was good times.

American Idol | Harry and Keith Dance

Two girls have to face off in front of the judges because they’re practically the same person except one has crazy eyes and the other doesn’t. And for reasons unknown to all of us, Crazy Eyes (a.k.a. Jessica) is the wrong chosen to go to the next round.

But she's only a little bit crazy.

But she’s only a little bit crazy.

Dexter is a big country farm boy who accidentally calls J-Lo “Sir”. He’s got a huge voice. I like him. And I also love MK, the lesbian cause I’m totally into girls who look like boys for some reason. And the love and acceptance in this room makes me teary.

Okay, I  lied before. There are too many people for me to remember their names or list all the ones I like. There’s actually a lot of really great people. Including girls! You know how I feel about the girls on this show. So, let’s just say that a lot more people are in the top 30 and a lot of people also went home and call it a night. I got other shows to recap.

I’m just gonna leave you with this picture. Peace out!

American Idol | Ryan lifts people.

About Patti Matteucci (265 Articles)
Patti Matteucci plays in an imaginary band in Illinois where she rocks the mic like a vandal while simultaneously cooking MCs like a pound of bacon. She is into most nerdy things but doesn’t excel enough in any to be labeled a nerd. One of her top skillz is scouring the internet for recipes, printing out a big pile, and then throwing them away before ever trying them when she remembers that you can have food made and delivered to your front door by somebody else. She is a 14 year old trapped inside a 33 year old’s body (or maybe also a 14 year old’s body) with an unabashed love for Justin Bieber and far too much time spent marrying celebrities in Sims 3.
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