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American Idol XIII Recap – Top 12: Home

Previously, on American Idol: “Top 13: This Is Me

Ryan’s wearing a ridiculous looking tie tonight. It’s got giant stripes. I don’t like it. The rest of his suit is delicious though. He takes selfies with the girls in the audience. Oh, how I hate those girls. That should be me!

Harry (or Jr, as Ryan calls him) leads a clap for Ryan’s suit. Tie aside, he really does look great tonight.

I want to use that tie to blow my nose.

I want to use that tie to blow my nose.

The theme for the “talented twelve” is Home. I hope they’re all doing covers of Daughtry’s song “Home“! That’d make me happy. But I guess they’re singing songs about home or songs that remind them of home. This might prove interesting.

Jena is singing that “suddenly I see” song from all those commercials. I hate that song. Because of all those commercials I’ve heard it in. Keith likes her stage presence but not so much the song. Jen agrees, although she thinks she still made the song her own. Jr wanted her to bust out more.

Alex is from New Hampshire, so he can’t be somebody I know, but damn, he reminds me of someone I know. He’s singing “I Don’t Wanna Be” by Gavin Degraw because Gavin once told him he was awesome. Gavin did not lie. Alex is wearing an electric blue suit and playing electric guitar. He looks great and sounds great. I enjoy his performance. Jen didn’t think it was his best performance. She thought the arrangement took the focus away from his voice. Jr and Keith didn’t really like it for the same reason, though Jr did appreciate that he did his own arrangement.

Ugh, can I fast forward through Jessica and her creepy, soulless eyes? Her friends in the audience hold up signs that lie about how she’ll be the next American Idol. Nice try. It won’t make me like her! She sings a song, her voice is extra grating on the ears, I hate it, and I hate her. Jr calls it “blasé” and said that she was off. The audience boos him, but they’re stupid. The judges responses are mixed, but she didn’t blow any of them away. The guys argue for a while about whether or not she was out of tune until Ryan moves things along.

American Idol | Dexter

Next up is Dexter, whose face is all over billboards in Alabama. He’s singing “Lucky Man” on acoustic guitar. I’m not familiar with the original, but apparently, he slowed it down to change it up. Good call. Great performance. Made me teary for some reason. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I cried through the season premiere of The Little Couple. I’m becoming a girl! But anyway, Dexter’s performance was amazing. The judges agree. Jr calls it, unquestionably, the best performance of the night. I agree, but the night isn’t over.

Something weird happens when Emily gets on stage. She’s dancing and so are the judges, but the song is horridly Latino and her singing is terrible. Jen loves it but probably only because it’s her song. Keith loves it for reasons unknown. Jr says the song was too big for her, which I agree with. She used a song that everybody was into from the first note as a crutch to cover her bad performance of it.

Caleb is from North Carolina. He looks huge standing next to Seacrest. Anyway, he’s doing a Rush song because he loves them so. Also huge is his voice. It’s impressive. The judges love him, although Jr would like him to be a little more unpredictable.

Next up is my girl MK. I didn’t know this, but she was adopted and has two moms. That must be those two women always weeping in the audience. So much love. For some reason that also makes me weepy. She’s playing acoustic guitar and singing “Drops of Jupiter“. She seems uncomfortable tonight, though she looks and sounds adorable. Keith thinks she sounded good but needs to connect more. Jen calls it a sweet performance, and Jr thinks she comes across like she doesn’t want to be here. That’s coming from the uncomfortableness that he also saw.

American Idol | MK

Up next is CJ from Alabama. He’s singing “Waiting On the World To Change” because he thinks that everybody should be loved by everybody else regardless of color or anything else. Who keeps cutting all these onions around me? I need a tissue. This was an excellent performance. The judges thought he could have made it more his own, but it’s still a great performance.

Sam is next. My dear, sweet Sam. He’s from Florida where he’s being raised by his grandparents. I thought it was good, but the judges thought it was kind of the same performance as always and that he needs to move out of his comfort zone a little. He’s so cute. I want to tuck him into bed and read him bedtime stories.

American Idol | Sam

Malaya is from Michigan. She’s playing piano tonight. I thought her vocals were horrible and screechy, but the judges loved it so… what do I know?

Ben Briley is a farmboy from Tennessee. He uses the phrase “as the crow flies”, which totally proves he’s from the south. He’s singing a country song I don’t know, but it’s really good. Jr didn’t like it, but everybody else did, so majority rules. Ryan brings a plate full of eggs on stage to which Ben freaks out, and then everybody eats eggs.

American Idol | Eggs

The pimp spot tonight goes to Majesty. She’s singing that “and I will try to fix you” song that always makes me weepy, while playing acoustic guitar. Pimp spot well-deserved, even though she’s dressed like an old lady again.

My predictions for the bottom 3 are Emily, Jessica, and Jena; with Emily going home.

Thursday Night: Results

I don’t feel well, and it’s late so time for a speed recap!

Jessica is having crazy eyes during group dinner. Jen is fierce. Shut up, Randy. Ryan Seacrest, pinstriped suit. Phil Phillips! Remember when I used to call him my future husband? A band I don’t know of sings. Shut up, Randy. Bottom 3: Jena, Emily, and MK. I had two out of three right. The third one angers me. I don’t understand the lack of MK love. She’s the most unique girl here. Jena is safe, MK is safe (YES!!), and Emily is out. Her sing-out is ten times better than that crap she did yesterday. The judges, wisely, don’t use their save on her. She’s out.

See ya next week! The theme will be “Songs from the cinema”, whatever that means.

About Patti Matteucci (265 Articles)
Patti Matteucci plays in an imaginary band in Illinois where she rocks the mic like a vandal while simultaneously cooking MCs like a pound of bacon. She is into most nerdy things but doesn’t excel enough in any to be labeled a nerd. One of her top skillz is scouring the internet for recipes, printing out a big pile, and then throwing them away before ever trying them when she remembers that you can have food made and delivered to your front door by somebody else. She is a 14 year old trapped inside a 33 year old’s body (or maybe also a 14 year old’s body) with an unabashed love for Justin Bieber and far too much time spent marrying celebrities in Sims 3.
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