Hello, boys and girls! Joseph here, and I’ve got the new Bluray releases for November 13, 2012. Today’s episode features groovy secret agents, the most stoned time travelers ever, warrior princesses, a pretty big wedding, the coolest set of criminals known to man, Britons wandering around in the desert, an unfilmable comic book come to life, the whitest people you know, and The Doctor. Ready? Let’s jump right in.
This shagadelic series gets the Bluray triple feature treatment for the first time. The trilogy revolves around the exploits of British special agent Austin Powers (Mike Myers) and his nemesis Dr. Evil (Mike Myers). The two were cryogenically frozen in 1967 and thawed out 30 years later in order to continue the latter’s plan for world domination and the former’s plan to stop him. The set will include all three movies (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, and Austin Powers in Goldmember) and possibly the standard fare of special features. If you’re either a fan of the franchise or even the least bit curious about it, I’d say give it a go; you could do a lot worse.
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 82%
Keanu Reeves (The Matrix) and Alex Winter (The Lost Boys) star in this outrageous comedy about two ditzy dudes from San Dimas, California. Bill (Winter) and Ted (Reeves) spent so much time forming their rock band, The Wyld Stallyns, that they’re flunking history. A guardian angel from the future, Rufus (George Carlin) come to them with a bodacious solution: a time traveling phone booth to take them into the past to learn from history’s most influential people. This movie makes its most excellent premiere on Bluray, and it’s widely considered that this is one of the few time travel movies that actually gets the act of time travel right, plus they travel the whole of time and space in a telephone box. Where have we seen that before?
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 78%
Let’s just get the fact that this movie reunites Emma Thompson (Professor Trewalny), Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid), and Julie Waters (Molly Weasley) from the Harry Potter universe out of the way first. All set? Good. Set in the rugged and mysterious Highlands of Scotland, Disney Pixar’s Brave follows the heroic journey of Merida (voice of Kelly Macdonald), a skilled archer and headstrong daughter of King Fergus (voice of Billy Connolly) and Queen Elinor (voice of Emma Thompson). Determined to change her fate, Merida defies an age-old custom sacred to the unruly and uproarious lords of the land: massive Lord MacGuffin (voice of Kevin McKidd), surly Lord Macintosh (voice of Craig Ferguson) and cantankerous Lord Dingwall (voice of Robbie Coltrane), unleashing chaos in the kingdom. When she turns to an eccentric Witch (voice of Julie Walters), she is granted an ill-fated wish and the ensuing peril forces Merida to harness all of her resources including her mischievous triplet brothers to undo a beastly curse and discover the meaning of true bravery. This movie is being released in a one-disc DVD set, a three disc Bluray/DVD collection, a three disc Bluray/DVD Spanish language set (*shrugs*) and a five disc 3D Bluray/Bluray/DVD + Digital Copy set. It’s an adorable family film that teaches the normal Disney lesson without being overly preachy.
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 76%
Toula is 30. And unmarried. Which means as a nice Greek girl — she’s a failure. All her cousins did the right thing — married Greek boys and made Greek babies. So everyone worries: what will become of Toula? Then one day she sees the ultimate unattainable guy and realizes the only way her life will get better is if he gets away from her big, fat Greek family. Toula escapes from the family restaurant. She exchanges her seating hostess jacket for a college diploma, convinces her aunt to give her a new job, and trades in her coke-bottle glasses for contact lenses, just in time for “him” to walk back into her life. Ian Miller is tall, handsome but definitely not Greek. Their courtship is an Olympian culture clash. Can Ian handle Toula, her parents, her aunts, uncles, cousins and several centuries of Greek heritage? Will Toula discover the love she’s been missing right in the heart of her big, fat family? One thing is for sure, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, with Ian’s proposal Toula is headed for her big, fat Greek wedding. This movie gets a nice polish for its anniversary, and it includes a Bluray, DVD, and Digital version of the film, as well as a 30 minute retrospective on the film itself. Honestly, I never had a desire to watch this movie, but if you did and liked it, this is the release for you.
‘Tis the season for triple features, I suppose. The Ocean’s trilogy revolves around ex-con Danny Ocean (George Clooney) getting the gang back together initially for one last heist, and…you know what? Listen: it’s got George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts…the list goes on and on. It’s got a whole host of beautiful people in beautiful locales doing some wild and crazy criminal shit. Not only that, but they do it with style. Sure, it had a bit of a hiccup with the second movie, but it’s a fun trilogy, okay? Buy it, watch it, take a load off, Annie. You won’t regret it.
Rotten Tomatoes rating: 98%
The dramatic portrait of famed British officer T. E. Lawrence’s journey to the Middle East, Lawrence of Arabia is one of the most critically acclaimed and beloved films of all time. Assigned to Arabia during World War I, Lawrence courageously unites the warring Arab factions into a strong guerrilla front and leads them to brilliant victories in treacherous desert battlefields, where they eventually defeat the ruling Turkish Empire. This is an indelible classic, and that is something that isn’t up for debate. Have I seen it? Of course not. But, I will say that – out of all of the movies that have been deemed classics by critics everywhere – this is one of the few that I really do want to watch. It barely misses being four hours long, but I think it’s worth giving it a shot if for the curiosity factor alone.
Rotten Tomatoes rating:
Someone’s killing our super heroes. The year is 1985 and super heroes have banded together to respond to the murder of one of their own. They soon uncover a sinister plot that puts all of humanity in grave danger. The super heroes fight to stop the impending doom only to find themselves a target for annihilation. But, if our super heroes are gone, who will save us? I have mixed feelings about this movie. First of all, it’s one of those “unfilmable” movies that just happened to have been filmed, and it’s directed by Zack Snyder – a man who hasn’t met a slow motion effect he didn’t like. But, it’s a very beautiful film (the fact that some of that beauty is due to Carla Gugino’s presence doesn’t hurt matters), and a lot of the performances are top notch. It comes in a collective box with a copy of the critically acclaimed graphic novel, and it has a veritable treasure trove of special features. This is another one that almost hits the four hour mark, but it’s worth watching just for the sheer spectacle of it all.
“Friends” is an American sitcom about six friends struggling to survive on their own in Manhattan. In each episode, they find the companionship, comfort and support from each other to be the perfect solutions to the pressures of everyday life. The series stars ‘The Ones That Were There For You’ for ten seasons strong: Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green, Courteney Cox as Monica Geller, Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffay, Matt LeBlanc as Joey Tribbiani, Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing, and David Schwimmer as Dr. Ross Geller. Friends has also featured many notable guest stars including Tom Selleck, Aisha Tyler, Jon Favreau, Anna Faris, Hank Azaria, Bruce Willis, Reese Witherspoon, Christina Applegate, Sean Penn, Jon Lovitz, Alec Baldwin, and many more. I never watched a nanosecond of this show, and as a result, I will not criticize it under any circumstances; I find doing so to be unfair, and it deserves better. The show ran for 10 years, and that is a lifetime in television. So, if you were a fan, pick it up.
Join the Doctor (Matt Smith), his companions Amy and Rory (aka the Ponds – Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill) and numerous friends on their latest escapades through space and time where they puzzle an unexpected invasion of Earth, save a spaceship full of dinosaurs, don Stetsons in a Wild West adventure and are even kidnapped by the Doctor’s oldest foe. The explosive series concludes with Amy and Rory’s heart-breaking farewell a race against time through the streets of Manhattan. Will the Doctor really lose the Ponds forever? There’s only one way to find out. Here at VaginaCon.com, we are basically expats who haven’t gone anywhere, and as such, we are predisposed to loving anything from the British. Doctor Who is no exception to that rule. This is my pick of the week, and that’s not up for debate. Geronimo.
So, there you go, folks; another week in the books. Did I miss something? Got any questions or comments? Feel free to hit me up in the comments below.
Until next time…