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Dexter – S7E12 – Surprise, Motherf*cker

Previously on Dexter.



And now…

Dexter visits Hannah in jail. They have the most awkward conversation ever. “I can’t believe you turned me in.” “I can’t believe you tried to kill my sister.” “You should have killed me.” “I can never trust you.” Hannah says if he gets rid of the pen, they can run away together. Dexter doesn’t like that plan. They kiss goodbye and she bites his lip, drawing blood. “Goodbye, Dexter.” What the fuck?


Hannah calls Arlene. She tells her that she can’t spend her life in jail and she needs Arlene’s help. Arlene owes her for taking care of the counselor for them. Arlene wants to know what she needs to do.

Harrison is playing with Jamie and asks for Hannah. Dexter and Jamie exchange looks. Why is Harrison, who never speaks, so attached to Hannah? Anyway… LaGuerta shows up and arrests Dexter for the murder of Hector Estrata. Wait. What?

Maria took pics of Dexter loading bags on his boat – it was ice for any fish he caught. She found Hector’s bloody shirt in the trash and his wallet, and she has pics of Dexter dumping bags in that dumpster – Dexter says he tossed his dinner. He says he’s not The Bay Harbor Butcher. Everyone can’t believe LaGuerta is even going there. Masuka comes in and says the shirt they found was an old shirt of Hector’s and it’s missing from evidence. A partial print on the wallet is LaGuerta’s.

Dexter planned the whole arrest! Brilliant. LaGuerta has to let him go. Everyone thinks LaGuerta is fruit loops.

Dexter remembers overhearing LaGuerta dump Doakes after LaGuerta confronts him in the elevator. She is not fooled.

Later, Debra is pissed that Dexter didn’t let her in on his plan and she doesn’t think it’s right that LaGuerta’s career is ruined. Dexter reminds her that LaGuerta has ruined many careers herself. Debra reminds him that he better hope Hannah doesn’t rat his ass out. Harry tells Dexter that he needs to find Hector before LaGuerta does.

Dexter goes to Hector’s ex’s house and poses as Hector’s parole officer. She says she doesn’t know where he is. Dexter then remembers working a case with Doakes – a woman murdered on the docks. Doakes first caught a glimpse at Dexter’s joy over blood splatter.

He follows Hector’s ex.

Tom visits LaGuerta. She wants his support, but he’s not trying to look crazy, too. She wants him to say she had reasonable suspicion. He calls her an idiot. “I’m already down, Tom. Stop kicking.”  He says he’ll see what he can do.

Debra shows up at Hannah’s arraignment. Hannah confronts Debra over knowing what Dexter is. She wants to know how Debra justifies arresting her and not Dexter. Debra calls her a liar and a killer. “But not a hypocrite,” Hannah counters. When Hannah is denied bail, Arlene jumps up crying. Hannah hugs her as she is led from the courtroom and Arlene slips her a pill, which Hannah sneaks into her mouth.



Batista wants LaGuerta to show up to his New Year’s Eve/Retirement Party. He says she can make a public apology to Dexter. In the van on the way back to jail, Hannah has a seizure and they rush her to the hospital.

LaGuerta calls Debra into her office and asks her to help her tie up loose ends on some cases just in case she loses her job. She talks about the Travis Marshall case and asks Debra if she went to the church that night. Debra says no. LaGuerta produces a video of Debra putting gas into a gas can two blocks from the church. Debra says she brought Dexter food while he was working the scene and got gas. LaGuerta asks if she has something she wants to get off her chest and Debra says no. LaGuerta says the convo isn’t over.

Dexter follows Hector’s ex to a park where she meets Hector and gives him a package. Dexter pays some kids to distract him and make him give chase. Dexter then dopes him and puts him in the trunk of his car – then Dexter gets a call from Deb. They meet and she tells him what LaGuerta knows. Dexter says this is bad. He doesn’t think LaGuerta has much evidence. He’s going to try and fix it.

Hannah escapes from the hospital.

Dexter goes to LaGuerta’s place and finds she put in for a court order to get GPS tracking on his phone and Deb’s the night of the fire. She’ll know that Debra and he set the fire. Harry tells him to run with Harrison and Deb. Dexter says he’s not. He likes his life. He is going to kill LaGuerta. Harry tells him LaGuerta doesn’t begin to meet the code. He asks how they got to that point.

Dexter then remembers a conversation with Doakes where Doakes basically first confronts him for being a phony.

LaGuerta gets a call from Estrata saying he’s at the shipping container and needs help. Dexter made him call her. He’s tied to the death table. Estrata says he’s sorry for killing Dexter’s mother, but it was him or her. Dexter wants to know if it made him feel bad. Estrata says it was basically survival of the fittest. Dexter kills Estrata.

Deb shows up at Batista’s party, looking for Dexter. Jamie hits on Quinn, who is drunk, of course. Masuka is going to put on a diaper and be Baby New Year. Masuka is awesome. Debra calls and gets a location on LaGuerta’s car. It’s headed towards the shipping yards. Deb calls Dexter’s cell and leaves a message asking him to not do whatever he’s thinking of doing. Hannah leaves a plant on Dexter’s doorstep.

LaGuerta shows up at the shipping container and Dexter dopes her. He’s going to make it look like LaGuerta shot Hector in his stab wound and then Hector shot her. He didn’t full dope her up so they won’t find the drugs in her system. He shoots Hector while she’s passed out, but Deb shows up before he can shoot LaGuerta. Deb has her gun out. Laguerta comes to and tells Deb to shoot Dexter. Dexter drops the knife he picked up and tells Debra that LaGuerta is right. She’s not like him. She should shoot him. It’s OK. Deb cries and agonizes. She says, “Dex…” before shooting …


Debra immediately drops the gun and runs to hug LaGuerta’s dead body. Dexter looks on stunned.

As midnight hits, and fireworks blaze, Dexter and Debra walk through Batista’s party, Deb holding onto Dexter’s arm. Dexter wonders if it’s a new beginning or the beginning of the end.


About Nina Perez (1391 Articles)
Nina Perez is the founder of Project Fandom. She is also the author of a YA series of books, "The Twin Prophecies," and a collection of essays titled, "Blog It Out, B*tch." Her latest books, a contemporary romance 6-book series titled Sharing Space, are now available on for Kindle download. She has a degree in journalism, works in social media, lives in Portland, Oregon, and loves Idris Elba. When not watching massive amounts of British television or writing, she is sketching plans to build her very own TARDIS. She watches more television than anyone you know and she's totally fine with that.

3 Comments on Dexter – S7E12 – Surprise, Motherf*cker

  1. Did you see the “behind-the-scenes” blurb that said the part where Deb runs over to LaGuerta’s body screaming was unscripted? They just left the cameras rolling. That was crazy! How can I wait for the next season????!!!! GAH!

  2. I kinda thought that was a half-assed series finale.

  3. For instance- what happens when they search La Guerta’s house and find the search warrant and look into what she was looking into? Also, Deb called the police dispatch and asked them to locate La Guerta using the GPS on the car, they gave her the location…that’s not going to come back and get them when they look into La Guerta’s murder?

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