Everyone have their fresh squeezed, blood orange juice and breakfast of champions ready? Good. “Previously on Dexter…” can best be described as the Season 7 Finale sucker punching you in the gut, and watching Debra Morgan doing what she does best…making a horrible fucking decision. Lets hope she decides to eat her feelings because this whole exoskeleton thing is getting old. Moving on….
We open to Dexter’s pretty carefree life, 6 months after a former Debra Do-Right pulled the trigger, putting Captain Maria LaGuerta out of the picture for good. Dexter is flying a kite with his son Harrison in front of a rainbow, he’s coached Harrison’s soccer team to a championship, he got his bowling team, “Bowl Till You Bleed” back together…no really, that’s the name of his team. He’s even having sex with another blond woman. What is it with the blonds, Dex? Anyway, life’s good.
Dexter and Harrison attend a dedication ceremony for LaGuerta where Sergeant Angel Batista gives a heartfelt speech, and Deputy Chief Matthews manages to present and unveil a bench dedicated to Capt LaGuerta without making one single, racist remark about anyone taking a siesta on it. Good job, Matthews.
Not impressed with the bench, Batista goes on with all the telltale signs of a man not letting go of his old boss lady/ex-wife. We learn that LaGuerta’s death has made him do a 180 from that whole career change idea, and he’s back to chasing bad guys. Debra Morgan, a no-show at the ceremony, has left Miami Metro and not looked back. Dexter finds out from Quinn that Debra has been out of touch for weeks while in Ft. Lauderdale. Not answering Dexter’s calls, and her voice mailbox full, Dexter is beginning to worry.
Bump and Grind
Cut to Deb bumping rails of white powder in a motel room that is in desperate need of a good black light inspection. It seems Deb has found herself involved with a man. If there’s one thing Deb has proven she’s really good at the last 7 Seasons, it’s dating. They are obviously the light in each other’s dilated pupils, err, eyes and they commence to do some bumping of their own.
After stopping by Deb’s empty house to find only a pile of mail, a disheveled bed and a collection of different “I’m not so happy these days.” happy pills, (Xanax, Paxil, more Xanax, Adderall, some pot, did we mention the Xanax?) Dexter has a conversation with dad, Harry Morgan, about having to find Debra straight away. Harry tries to convince Dexter that he should stay away from a possibly crumbling Deb, but Dexter will not be swayed.
Dexter heads into Deb’s new job in the private sector, Elway Investigations. He finds out from the head honcho that Deb has been M.I.A for the last two weeks while working a bail jumping case of a one Andrew Briggs, who robbed a jewelry store. She comes and goes as she pleases and according to her Boss, “She seems to like the down and dirty stuff.” He’s right. Did you see that motel room?
All Play and No Work.
Dexter is back on the forensics scene as they discover a dumped body that has been shot, the back of the cranium sawed open and part of the brain scooped out with a melon baller. And they say that’s a useless kitchen tool.
Crime scene aside, with Deb still on his own brain, Dexter does some research on the bail jumper case, finding an arrest sheet and photo of Andrew Briggs. Thinking maybe Deb has gotten in over her head he decides to locate her by hacking her credit card information. Password: Is it “password”? Nope. This is Debra we’re talking about here. Is it ”fucking password”? AHA! Brilliant! Dexter is in and snags the address of where Debra made recent charges. No sooner does he arrive than he sees none other than Andrew Briggs with his hands all over Deb’s ass outside a market. Dexter confronts her inside and Deb, who looks like something you scrape out of a public bathroom, tells him she hates him.
Angel Batista comes home effectively killing the erection Quinn had while screwing Batista’s sister Jamie in the other room. Jamie runs distraction as Quinn sneaks away. The Batistas chat about giving LaGuerta’s things to charity, and Jamie suggests Angel pick out a few things to remember her by. He finds the warrants she filed to track Debra and Dexter’s phone records and rips them up, wishing she had just let sleeping Doakes lie.
An Unwelcomed Guest
Miami Metro Staff Briefing and Deputy Chief Matthews introduces Doctor Evelyn Vogel, who the F.B.I. refers to as The Psychopath Whisperer. Dr. Vogel is there to offer her own brain matter about the latest body dump. She’s written a book on the brains of psychopaths and Dexter starts to squirm like he just shat his pants. Vince Masuka recognizes her from her work about profiling, which is amazing because up until now we were convinced he only read casual encounters ads on Craigslist. Vogel is intrigued because the portion of the brain that was scooped out processes empathy, something psychopaths do not possess. Dexter then raises his hand and asks, “What’s empathy??” Not really.
We’re back in the Motel Lap of Ewww to find out Briggs is trying to get a fence to sell the jewelry he stole. He’s meeting up with a man called El Sappo to give him a little glimpse of the jewels hoping he’ll buy the whole lot. Not all the jewels are on Briggs; he’s hidden them away. While Briggs takes the meeting with him in the parking lot, Deb quickly calls in a favor to Quinn to ask if anyone in robbery has heard of El Sappo. El Sappo agrees to meet up later and buy the loot.
Death Becomes Them
Dr. Vogel summons Dexter to the morgue to inquire if he’s found any DNA evidence on the dumped body. She then proceeds to pull a little mind fucking, a la Hannibal Lecter on him while discussing their career choices. “We both chose murder. Maybe we’re both a little crazy?” The conversation takes a sharp turn to the Bay Harbor Butcher, and Vogel wants to know more about Doakes because she thinks he would have made a fascinating case study. You could cut the tension in this morgue with a bone saw. Despite Matthews’ endorsement of Vogel, Dexter is not convinced that he isn’t the reason for her sudden appearance.
Quinn grabs Dexter in the hallway and tells him to get a message to Debra who still hasn’t cleaned out her phone messages. No one in Robbery has heard of El Sappo. Also, Briggs has snatched up the wrong diamonds in the rough. The jewelry store he hit is owned by the mob, and nobody is going to buy his wares at the Ft. Lauderdale Crime Fair. Jamie Batista drops Harrison off at the Police Station for a much-deserved night off.
Dexter uncovers that the fence El Sappo, aka Javier Guzman, isn’t a fence at all… he’s a hitman. He tries to call Deb to warn her but no dice. He races out of the police station with Harrison in tow trying to get a hold of Quinn, who happens to be tip deep in Jamie’s night off. Quinn is cockblocked once again as Dexter pounds on the door to score the name of the motel Debra has been staying at with Briggs. Dexter races to The Pink Motel and Harrison falls asleep in the back because it’s, you know, late and shit. Dexter leaves him in the car to check out Briggs’ room. After being spotted by Deb, Dexter pleads with her to leave with him, explaining El Sappo is a hitman and that she’s in danger. Deb clearly has run out of fucks and isn’t going anywhere with him. They play another round of “Let’s Talk About LaGuerta and How Much I Hate You” before Briggs comes out of the motel room. Dexter grabs Deb to run but Briggs pulls her back to him. Dexter throws him into the room and Briggs goes for a knife. Dexter isn’t even wearing his kill shirt but he’s too fast for Briggs, he gets to the knife first, and stabs Briggs in the heart killing him. Debra, once again collapses into a ball like a broken insect and yells at Dexter to leave…she’s calling it in as a homicide. You know, there were a few other times she could have called in homicides. Hmmm. Before the police arrive Debra takes Briggs keychain out of his pants.
Where Are We Daddy?
Dexter runs back to the car, the door is open and Harrison is missing. Luckily he was just wandering the parking lot of a shitty motel where a murder just took place all by himself in the middle of the night. No big deal.
Later, as police flood the scene, Deb gives her statement that she simply found Briggs dead. She calls in the news to Elway Investigations that Briggs is dead, but she may have a lead on finding the stolen jewelry. She drives away, and we see that El Sappo is there, watching from his car. Perfect place for a known hitman to loiter after an unexplained homicide.
Safely back at home, Dexter realizes he got Briggs’ blood on Harrison’s stuffed animal and he desperately tries to wash off the damned dirty spot. He’s going over his argument with Deb only to realize he doesn’t know who he is any more without her in his life, and that he needs to have a fucking seat. Anyone know of a good bench?
Dexter Has a Seat.
Sitting on the bench dedicated to LaGuerta, Dexter is in deep thought when Dr. Evelyn Vogel walks up hoping to share something with him. In no mood, he shoos her away and she decides to leave him with an envelope to peruse. The envelope is filled with a child’s drawings of a scribbly and disturbed ginger child, separated from his family, murdering animals, dead bodies, and they are signed in bright red crayon, “Dexter”. He chases Vogel down demanding, “What is it you want?” She tells him, “You can’t kill me…because I don’t fit Harry’s code.”