Previously on Empire, ‘Pilot’
This week Cookie gets an assistant, the family mourns Bunkie, Jamal feels trapped in the closet, Andre goes off his meds, and Hakeem takes foolishness to the next level. When the Initial Public Offering (IPO) is endangered by two high-profile incidents, Lucious defends Empire on a conservative talk show.
Cookie’s Best Line: Cookie dropped a lot of zingers this episode, all while looking like she shops exclusively on Canal Street. She told Anika/Boo Boo Kitty that her interruption was “No more rude than that anchorwoman haircut you slap on your head.” Ouch.
Lucious B. Lyings: Lucius told Andre he would be the head of Empire while wearing one ascot, and later told Hakeem the same thing while wearing a different ascot.
Number of times you wanted to slap Hakeem: Hakeem needed to be slapped with a broom several times. After urinating on the floor in a fancy restaurant, he accused the other diners of responding negatively because of his race, and called Obama a sell-out. Later in the episode, he yelled at Cookie for trying to comfort him about Bunkie’s death.
Most triflin’ character: Kidd Fo-Fo tried to fight a woman, and then cursed her in front of her ex-husband and her son.
Health check-up: Lucious is taking Riluzole to treat his amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). This is a real medication for the disease, which must be taken every 12 hours. Andre, on the other hand, has not been taking his medications for bipolar disorder. He’s canceled two therapy sessions, he’s drinking, and he’s referring to himself in the third person. Even Lucious noticed that Andre was exhibiting strange behavior.
Who should jump the line for relationship counseling: Lucius and telephone Obama. “Come on, Barack, you know you don’t have to use that kind of language,” Lucious pleaded before hearing the dial tone.
Lee Daniels Extraness: When Andre’s wife Rhonda put on that bib in the kitchen without even taking out her hair rollers.
Best Minor Character moments: Cookie’s probationary assistant Porsha (Ta’Rhonda Jones) made an epic entrance, but let’s not overlook Dominique. Dominique was the PR woman who doesn’t play about her capers. Both women were hilarious throughout the episode.
Least subtle reference to a real celebrity: What does Tiana rhyme with? The autotune. The forehead. The attitude. It’s like a blind item with the answers written upside-down on the bottom of the page.
The BET award goes to: No Apologies (featuring Jussie Smollett and Yazz).
Most unbelievable moment: I thought it would go to Lucious asking why Lil’ Wayne looks like the devil, but then Agent Carter showed up. The feds want Cookie to testify before a grand jury, and the show didn’t tell us whether or not this involves Lucious.
Bunkie has been fished out of the water, with excellent morgue make-up. Will there be any more deaths this season? What did you all think of this episode?