Previously on Empire, ‘False Imposition’
It was a night of surprises: Tiana is a lesbian (or bisexual), Lucious proposes to Boo Boo Kitty with a promise he’s going to fight his ALS, and Cookie agrees to testify in a grand jury hearing against Frank Gathers, the drug dealer who killed a federal agent during her drug bust.
Cookie’s Best Line: “Dead bitch walking; that’s me out here,” Cookie says after the feds pressure her to testify before the grand jury.
Lucious B. Lyings: Lucious needs a doctor to sign a clean bill of health on insurance forms to ensure his IPO goes off without a hitch. He convinces his future father-in-law to do it, citing that BBK will be a billionaire once he dies… but only if the IPO goes through. Not only is he lying, he got others lying for him.
Number of times you wanted to slap Hakeem: Just once when he has the nerve to jump up Tiana’s ass over her girlfriend, India, conveniently forgetting he has a side-piece old enough to be his mama.
Most triflin’ character: Andre. When fake-ass Kelly Ripa secretly records Tiana making out with her girlfriend, Andre gives her the go-ahead to share it with Perez Hilton. THEN he sets up Jamal to be robbed at gunpoint at the record studio by Hakeem’s friends, so Jamal will think Hakeem did it. I’m a low-key disappointed in Jamal for thinking Hakeem would do that to him. I mean, he’s trifling, but he’s not that trifling.
Health check-up: Lucious displayed no symptoms of his disease this episode. Andre may be tripping because he’s not taking his meds, but we don’t see that. It just looks like regular old trifling behavior on his part.
Best cameo: Anthony Hamilton made a house call to sing The Point of it All for Boo Boo Kitty when Lucious proposed.
Who should jump the line for relationship counseling: Andre and his brothers. They are all too willing to believe the worst of each other.
Lee Daniels Extraness: Ghetto-Ass Studios. No, really. That’s the name. Oh, and when Lucious was just leisurely painting on a video girl’s back. For no damn reason.
Best Minor Character moment: Tyree and that big-ass bowl of diabetes, I mean cereal, at Ghetto-Ass Studios.
Least subtle reference to a real celebrity: Just blatant! Hakeem puts Drake and Kendrick Lamar on notice. They gonna be scared when Drip Drop… drops.
The BET award goes to: Drip Drop by Hakeem, featuring Tiana.
Most unbelievable moment: When Cookie thinks Frank Gathers had one of his outside men (Teddy McNally) threaten her by leaving a rose on her doorstep, she takes a cab all the way to Philadelphia to meet with her sister. What’s wrong with the phone? Then she pays $5,000 to have McNally and his men killed. When she finds out it was Lucious leaving her an anniversary rose, she tries to call off the hit, but it’s too late.