We’re a little late covering one of the hottest shows on TV. In the coming weeks, we’ll be adding reviews of the first 7 episodes. In the meantime, read what ProFan Nikki had to say about last night’s episode and make sure you leave your feedback here or on Facebook, and we’ll read it on our all-new Empire podcast, recording every Thursday night.
Cookie’s Best Line: “You want Cookie’s nookie, ditch the bitch.” But alas, she couldn’t even make it 48 hours.
Lucious B. Lyings: “I’ve been with a lot of women, Cookie, but I was always looking for you in them.”
Number of times you wanted to slap Hakeem: Hakeem only deserved one slap this episode. He got mad at one little piece of feedback from Cookie and threw his expensive headphones at the window. You already used incorrect grammar while talking to your lord and savior, Hakeem, and now this? On the plus side, an Iyanla moment with his mom led Hakeem to tell Camilla that he didn’t want to call her Mama anymore. Then he congratulated Jamal on coming out. Good job, Hakeem.
Most triflin’ character: Andre tried to pimp out his wife to become the de facto CEO of Empire. Did you see how interested he was in the course of Stephen Hawking’s ALS? Interesting indeed.
Health check-up: Lucious faked ALS symptoms to get more of Cookie’s nookie. Andre threw caution to the wind and drank alcohol, which is counter-indicated for his mental health medications. Later in the episode, he played Russian roulette while sitting in the studio. That kind of low would take much more than one night of drinking, so let’s just say he needs to revisit his psychiatrist to adjust that dosage.
Who should jump the line for relationship counseling: Lucious continues to need counseling to be a supportive father. No he didn’t say, “That lyric doesn’t really suit him,” when he heard Jamal singing about a man loving a woman! He berated Andre for marrying a white woman and got all Nation of Islam about keeping the Lyon money in the Black community. Does Empire manufacture gourmet bean pies?
Lee Daniels Extraness: The green mask kiss had it until Jamal came out. Then we were treated to a flashback of Jamal putting on high heels (we remember!). The montage of international news reports on Jamal’s coming out – as Lucius walked into the office like a weary man about to arrange his own funeral service – was giving me Denzel in Spike Lee’s Malcolm X.
Best Minor Character moments: Camilla and Cookie’s standoff was epic. Ryan (Australian cutie Eka Darville) went on one date with Jamal and changed Jamal’s mind about everything. Did you see how low Jamal’s shirt was unbuttoned on that date? I did.
The BET award goes to: This week, we don’t really have any choices besides “You’re So Beautiful,” so the award would have to go to who sang it best. I’ll go with Cookie singing in that abandoned prison at the end of the episode. I really liked the song that played as Cookie and Hakeem walked into Empire arm-in-arm but haven’t been able to identify it.
Most unbelievable moment: Boo Boo Kitty/Fake-ass Halle Berry/Fake Lena Horne pulled off her engagement ring at the end of the episode and went to see Baretti. You might remember Barretti is Lucious’ music mogul rival. He threatened Lucious in the fourth episode. Is Anika switching teams?
Honorable mention: The outfits Jamal and Lucious were wearing to the white party. Nobody said it was a cultural appropriation party.
The legacy album is dead! Now what song are all the beautiful women going to “shake it, shake it” to? Oh dear. What did you all think of this episode?