Previously on Empire, ‘Poor Yorick’
All charges against Lucious have been dropped, and Vernon’s death was ruled a suicide. Thirsty has earned himself a job at Empire Records – Vernon’s old job. Andre is back at work, now acting president of Empire’s new Gutter Life label, but it might be a bit too gutter for him. Random asses and titties in the boardroom send him right to his pastor with a request to get baptized. This doesn’t go over well with Lucious.
Jamal’s relationship with Michael is pretty much done when one of them gives into Chase One’s advances. Good thing Jamal has a new tour with Ne-Yo to keep him busy.
Lyon Dynasty is targeted by masked assailants who demand money in exchange for letting Cookie’s label operate in their neighborhood, and they kidnap Hakeem when their demands aren’t met. Lucky for her, Dynasty’s new concert promoter, Mr. Delgado (Adam Rodriguez), is packing.
Cookie’s best line
“Oooh, mention the devil name and he will walk right in.”
Number of times you wanted to slap Hakeem: 0
Hakeem is fast becoming one of my favorite characters. He’s still Hakeem so of course he tries to push up on Laura after signing her to lead his new girl group, but she shoots him down. Her rejection seems to have sincerely hurt him and I believed his apology and promise that he wouldn’t try it again.
When he learns that Andre set up Jamal to get mugged at Ghetto Ass Studios, he doesn’t get angry because it made Jamal accuse him, his first concern is that Jamal could have been shot that day.
Most triflin’ character
Michael. A blow job from the hairy, freaky artist? Really, Michael? It’s like that? I guess.
Runner-Up: Thirsty. Lucious asked Andre if his new lawyer/business manger is too hood for him. Hell, he may be too hood for Lucious. Sending thugs to Cookie’s for the masters is pretty low, even for Lucious.
Rhonda isn’t showing yet, fueling a lot of viewers’ suspicions that she’s not really pregnant. One thing’s for sure: Andre is too busy listening to the Lord and dodging Lucious’ temptations to give his wife some. Poor Rhonda.
Things Lucious Says That Doesn’t Make Any Damn Sense
“That’s that thing that pushes you up to that whole other level.”
Who should jump the line for relationship counseling
I know I said on last week’s podcast that I wasn’t sure why Michael and Jamal were still together. Jamal’s first love is music and Michael is painfully insecure. But I don’t think Michael accepting a blow job from the freaky artist makes any damn sense.
Best Family Moments
Andre’s confessions to his brothers reminded me why every scene with the three of them is pure gold. They feel like real brothers.
I can’t name one Ne-Yo song, but his few lines in this episode have me looking forward to seeing him as The Tin Man in the upcoming live production of The Wiz.
Best minor character moments
Portia offers up a Pomeranian mutt, Whoop-de-woo, as a guard dog for Cookie in the hopes of getting her job back. And guess what? It was little Whoop-de-woo who alerted Cookie that she was being robbed.
The BET award goes to
Why Go (feat. Bre-Z)
After a non-sensical pep talk from Lucious, she drops a hot 16. I think her daddy was smiling in hell.
Leave your thoughts on the episode in the comments and we’ll read them on tonight’s Empire podcast!
This was a pretty tame episode in terms of drama and manipulation. Things are in play, but with no real indications as to whose pulling the strings. Who are these masked figures trying to extort Cookie? Anika was suspiciously absent this week. Hmmm. I don’t trust Mr. Delgado at all.
Lucious’ issues with mental health and religion all seem to stem from his mother, but I’m still not feeling that any of it warrants the way he treats Andre. Jamal and Michael needed to be over, but I’m not buying the way it went down. It feels completely out of character for Michael to cheat on Jamal.