Previously on Game of Thrones “Kissed By Fire”
Samwell The Provider
Sam and Gilly sit by a fire that took him forever to make. She calls him out for being highborn and asks about The Wall. She doesn’t believe it’s as big as it is. Sam later proves he’s good for something: That boy has the voice of an angel! And he sings to help settle the baby to sleep.
The key part of this scene is that Sam shows Gilly a black piece of glass they found at The Fist of the First Men. He doesn’t know what it is or what it does.
There’s More Than One Way to Skin a Rabbit
Osha and Meera continue to clash, this time over who can skin a rabbit best. Bran has had enough of their bickering and manages to get the two to call a truce long enough to say one polite thing to each other.
Jojen has a seizure in his sleep as he has a vision. Meera comforts him and puts her belt in his mouth. When it passes, he tells Bran he saw Jon Snow beyond the wall and surrounded by enemies.
You’re a Proper Lover, Jon Snow
Ygritte, Jon, Tormund Giantsbane, the warg, and the others prepare to climb the wall. Ygritte teases Jon about being a virgin and all trembly when they first had sex. He shuts down that talk real quick by saying he only trembled in the beginning. Ygritte concedes that the trick he did with his tongue was nice, but warns him not to betray her.
The Story of Thoros of Myr
Arya gets pointers on her bow and arrow skills from The Brotherhood. They are approached by Melisandre and a few of Stannis’ men. She recognizes that they are also followers of The Lord of Light. She chastises Thoros of Myr for failing in his mission to get King Robert to abandon the seven gods and follow theirs.
They go to see Beric Dondarrion and she is amazed that he has been brought back to life so many times. Thoros admits that he was never really a true believer, and that is probably why he failed in his mission to convert Robert – he just didn’t care. But having R’hllor answer his prayers to bring back Beric has made him a believer. Their god is the one true god and all men must suffer.
She asks Beric if he’s been to the other side. He says, “There is no other side. I’ve been to the darkness, my lady.”
Melisandre makes known the reason for her visit…
The Lord of Light Needs Gendry
Last week Melisandre said she needed Baratheon blood other than Stannis’, and who do we know with Baratheon blood who is also still alive? Gendry. They take him away and give The Brotherhood bags of gold for him. Gendry and Arya feel betrayed. Arya accuses The Red Priestess of being a witch. She looks into Arya’s eyes and says there’s a darkness there. She implies that Arya will kill many people and that they will meet again.
Jon and the others are climbing the wall. It looks scary as hell. There’s a break in the ice and a few fall to their deaths. When Ygritte and Jon slip, they threaten to bring down Giantsbane and the warg, who says they have to cut them loose. As he starts to saw through the rope, Jon manages to secure a spot on the wall and pull himself and Ygritte to safety.
This Little Piggy Cried Wee, Wee, Wee…
Theon’s torturer wants to play a game. If Theon can guess where they are, who he is, and why he’s torturing him, well, he doesn’t agree to let Theon go so I’m not really sure what he’s supposed to get. The mysterious man continues to cut at one of Theon’s pinky fingers and tells him that if he wins, Theon will beg him to cut the finger off.
Theon guesses that his torturer is a Karstark and he is torturing Theon for revenge in betraying Robb Stark and the north. He lets Theon believe he’s correct for a bit, but then cuts Theon’s pinky and pulls out a bone.
Theon begs him to cut off his pinky. The torturer obliges.
Lord Frey sends his twin sons to Riverrun to lay down his terms for a continued allegiance. He wants Harrenhall after the war is over and he wants Edmure Tully to marry one of his daughters. Edmure ain’t about that life. The Freys aren’t known for good looks and hygiene. Blackfish threatens to punch in his teeth. Robb reminds his uncle that he needs to make amends for his screw up at the mill. Edmure agrees, but he ain’t happy about it.
Bolton Makes a Move
There’s a really sad scene with Jaime, Brienne, and Roose Bolton sitting at a dinner table. Jaime and Brienne are both cleaned up and wearing new clothes. What’s sad is watching Jaime try to cut his meat with one hand and a stump. Brienne finally helps him. Roose Bolton says he’ll let Jaime go to King’s Landing, but Jaime has to tell his father that he had nothing to do with Jaime losing a hand. Brienne is to stay behind. Jaime tries to throw his weight around and insist that Brienne goes with him, but Roose reminds Jaime what happened to him the last time he overestimated his station in life.
Viewers have to wonder why Robb’s bannerman, Bolton, wouldn’t just return Jaime to Robb.
Matches Made in Hell
The Queen of Thorns meets with Tywin. She is NOT tryna hear this arranged marriage crap between Loras and Cersei. She flat out says that Cersei’s ass is too damn old to be marrying anyone and making promises of children to carry on the Tyrell name. She admits that Loras is “a sword swallower” gay, but that they don’t frown upon that type of thing in Highgarden. Now, incest is a flower of a different color. Tywin doesn’t take the bait and says that if Loras doesn’t marry Cersei, he’ll name Loras to the Kingsguard which means he’ll never be able to marry, hold land, or have children. She tells Tywin to go fuck himself, but there really isn’t much she can do.
Being Shipped Off to Hell
Loras and Sansa have the most awkward engagement conversation ever. She has stars in her eyes and is super happy to be marrying him, and he couldn’t be less interested. When he talks about his younger dreams of getting married, it sounds more like what you’d hear a young girl gush over: the food, the flowers, the clothes, etc.
Sansa’s gaydar is broken. Fuck it. Sansa has no gaydar.
Meanwhile, Tyrion and Cersei watch from inside the castle. Cersei points out that they’re both being shipped off to hell. Tyrion reminds her that she built the damn boat. He wants to know once and for all if she tried to have him killed at Blackwater after she somewhat reluctantly admits that they all owe their lives to him. Her silence makes it clear that Joffrey is the one who ordered it. She says his life is probably still in danger, but not from Joffrey since Tywin is there.
Cersei wonders who will break the poor news to Sansa.
Apparently, Tyrion lost the coin toss. He arrives at Sansa’s quarters and she insists that Shae can be present for whatever he has to tell her. We don’t get to see this awkward conversation, but we later see Sansa and Shae as they watch Littlefinger’s ship leave. She only stayed because she thought she was going to marry Loras. Now her only chance of being free from the Lannisters is gone.
What Do We Have Left When We Abandon the Lie
Varys approaches Littlefinger, who is sitting by the Iron Throne. Littlefinger says that he has counted and that throne isn’t made of a thousand swords, just a little more than 200.
What follows is a very interesting conversation in which Varys is called out for trying to undermine Littlefinger and Littlefinger reveals he knows all about Roz’s betrayal. He has given Roz to someone who wanted to do some pretty dark things as a punishment.
Varys says he did what he did for the realm. Littlefinger admits that he doesn’t mind throwing the realm into chaos because chaos is a ladder. In other words, he has used the war and betrayal to his advantage to improve his station in life.
Later, we see that Joffrey has used his new crossbow on Roz. Her dead body is tied to the bedpost and punctured by several arrows.
On Top of the World
They finally make it to the top of the wall. Ygritte gets the view she’s been dying to see her whole life and then she and Jon kiss passionately.
What did you think of tonight’s episode? Why would Bolton not return Jaime to Robb? What will Melisandre do with Gendry? Who do you trust the most: Varys or Littlefinger?