Previously on Game of Thrones, Second Sons
Here we are, folks. The season three penultimate episode and the one book readers have been dying for. No pun intended. Let’s get to it.
Show Them How It Feels To Lose What They Love
Robb goes over his battle strategy with Catelyn. He means to take Casterly Rock. She wonders why he is telling her and he admits that not taking her advice in the past (re: Theon) has cost them greatly. He wants her opinion. She warns that if they don’t take the castle before Lannister reinforcements arrive, they’ll be stuck between his castle and the sea. Robb says then they will die with honor, like Ned. “Show them how it feels to lose what they love,” she says by way of approving his plan.
Robb, his family, and his men stand before Walder Frey as Robb apologizes for breaking his promise. Walder Frey marches out all of his homely daughters and granddaughters to show Robb what he missed out on and to cause Edmure Tully lots of alarm. After being extremely disrespectful to Robb’s bride, Walder Frey declares that the wedding will take place that night and they’ll put the whole mess behind them.
Bitches Love Cities
Daario has a plan that he’ll use his allegiance with the Yunkai guards to get inside the back gates, kill the guards, and open the main gates for the rest of Dany’s army. Ser Jorah points out that he could be leading them into a trap and asks for Grey Worm’s opinion. Grey Worm trusts Daario so it’s decided that he and Jorah will accompany Daario on his plan. Ser Barristan Selmy wants to go as well, but Jorah says he should be by the queen’s side. Dany senses the tension between them.
Sam Gets Closer to the Wall
Sam and Gilly approach the wall. She’s impressed by all his fancy book learning. She says that her father and her baby’s father, who happens to be one in the same, said that a wildling would never see the wall and live. “Here we are, alive.” Not so fast, Gilly. Don’t you know what show you’re on?
Arya The Psychopath
The Hound helps a stranded merchant and then knocks him out to steal his wagon and wares. He’s going to kill him, but Arya begs him not to. “Dead rats don’t squeak.” She taunts him for feeling like a big man by killing kids, saying scary things to little girls, and killing old men. She convinces him not to kill the man, but he tells her that her kindness will get her killed. Just then, the merchant starts to come to and Arya knocks him out with a piece of wood and stomps off. The Hound is all, “Daaaamn.”
Bran, Osha, the Reeds, Hodor, and Rickon come upon a tower. Rain is coming and they decide to take shelter in the tower for the night. Rickon actually speaks and tells a funny story Nan told them about wildlings drinking blood out of skulls. Osha side-eyes the fuck out of him.
The Warg (I never remember his name) scouts out a horse breeder who works for the Night’s Watch nearby. They plan on killing him and taking his horses. Jon points out that they can steal his horses without taking the man’s life. They run for the house and the breeder is warned of their approach when his horses start freaking out. He jumps on one and takes off. Ygritte is about to shoot him with an arrow, but Jon calls her name and distracts her. The man gets away, but they take chase.
I Know Fear When I See It
The Hound munches down on the merchant’s pigs while Arya stares off at The Twins in the distance. She’s so close she can taste it! The Hound says he can see she’s afraid because she’s so close to family – she’s afraid she might not make it. In turn, she calls him out for being a pussy when it comes to fire and says she knows all about that time his brother burned half his face off. Going tit for tat, he makes a tasteless remark about Ned Stark losing his head and Arya warns that one day she will put a sword through his face. Oh, snap!
Hodor! Hodor! Hodor!
The rain has Bran and crew holed up the tower. The thunder is freaking Hodor out so there’s lot of Hodoring. The wildlings have caught up to the horse breeder right outside the tower. The Warg is sure he heard shouting from inside, but Thormund brushes aside his claims.
In a panic to get Hodor to be quiet, Bran does his warg-thing and enters Hodor’s mind. This apparently takes a lot out of Hodor and he passes out.
The wildlings are about to kill the horse breeder when The Warg insists that Jon Snow do it to prove himself. As Jon hesitates, Jojen persuades Bran to enter the minds of one of their direwolves hunting outside so they can see what’s going on and possibly use the wolves to stop the wildlings from finding them. Jon doesn’t kill the man, but Ygritte does.
The Warg declares he was right about Jon all along and a fight breaks out. Thormund manages to subdue Ygritte, telling her Jon’s not worth dying for. Bran controls one of the direwolves and tears out one of the wildling’s throat as Jon stabs the Warg. Before he dies, the Warg takes over a hawk flying overhead and pecks at Jon’s face. Jon gets free and escapes on a horse, leaving Ygritte with mud on her face. Literally.
Daario, Jorah, and Grey Worm = Badasses
Daario, Jorah, and Grey Worm enter Yunkai and it’s exactly as Daario said. In a pretty badass scene, the three of them take out several of the Yunkai guards, but then shit gets real when more slave guards show up and surround them.
Here Comes the… Hey, Now!
While Robb’s men are drinking and partying in their tents outside, the Frey wedding commences inside. Edmure is surprised and quite pleased that Rosalyn Frey is actually really young and pretty. They exchange their vows.
The Stark Brothers Split
Bran is now convinced more than ever that he needs to find the three-eyed raven beyond the wall. He can control people and animals and he needs to know what it means. He orders Osha to take Rickon and Shaggy Dog to a town where the Starks have bannermen. Rickon has more lines in this scene than he has had in three damn seasons. He has the sads that he’s being forced to leave Bran. Considering how the Starks can’t seem to get their shit together, I’d say his concern is justified.
Ser Friend Zoned
Dany is worried, waiting for word on whether or not her men were successful in sacking Yunkai. Ser Jorah and Grey Worm appear, covered in blood. Ser Jorah says the Yunkai slave soldiers threw down their weapons and surrendered. The first words out of her mouth? “And Daario Naharis?” Poor Jorah is crushed. Daario appears and Dany is visibly relieved. He tells Dany the city is hers.
The Red Wedding
The wedding reception is in full swing. Catelyn tells Blackfish how funny it is that Edmure is so much happier now that his Frey bride is pretty. Blackfish agrees and leaves to relieve himself outside. Roose Bolton once again refuses drink, which Catelyn finds odd. Remember, he did that with Jaime as well so it may not seem weird to viewers. As Edmure and his bride are carried off to their bedding ceremony, Talisa and Robb discuss their unborn child. She wants to name the baby Eddard if it’s a boy. Awwww. This can’t be good.
And it’s not. Catelyn notices that one of Frey’s men locks the door to the hall just as the musicians start playing ‘The Rains of Castamere.’ Outside we see Grey Wind is being held in a kennel and Robb’s men continue to drink and party. The Hound arrives with the merchant’s wagon, but is denied entry into the wedding. He senses something is up as well.
Inside, Walder Frey calls for quiet to make a speech. Catelyn sits next to Roose Bolton and notices he’s wearing armor under his clothes. She stands suddenly and slaps his face. She calls out for Robb as Roose runs from the room. One of Frey’s men pulls a dagger and stabs Talisa in the stomach repeatedly. The musicians in the balcony pull out crossbows and shoot Robb several times. His men have their throats slit and Catelyn takes an arrow in the shoulder. She crawls under a table.
Outside, Arya watches as Robb’s men are slaughtered and Grey Wind is put down. She tries to run inside, but The Hound knocks her out and carries her off over his shoulder.
Back inside, Robb crawls over to Talisa’s dead body. When Walder Frey sees this, he holds up his hand to halt the massacre. Catelyn spies Walder Frey’s young wife also under a table, grabs her, and holds a knife to her throat. She pleads with Walder Frey to let Robb leave. They will forget the whole thing ever happened if he does. Robb isn’t going to leave though and Walder won’t allow it anyway. She threatens to cut Walder’s wife’s throat on her honor, she gives him her word as a Tully and a Stark. Walder replies, “I’ll just get another one.”
Robb stands and says, “Mother.” They lock eyes as Roose Bolton appears and whispers to Robb, “The Lannisters send their regards.”
Then he stabs Robb in the heart. As Robb falls to the floor, Catelyn lets out a howl and slits the young girl’s throat. Then she stands in stunned silence. A few beats pass and then her throat is slit as well. As blood pours from her neck, she falls to the floor.