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Game of Thrones – S5E1 – The Wars to Come

Previously on Game of Thrones, ‘The Children’

Maggy the Frog

Young Cersei bullies her scared friend into following her into the swamps to visit a witch who can supposedly see the future. Tywin won’t like it, her friend warns. “You don’t need to be afraid of my father,” Cersei replies. The You should, however, be afraid of me isn’t said, but totally implied.

Game of Thrones - S5E1 - Young Cersei

Cersei barges into the witch’s hut and demands her fortune told. After sucking on a bit of Cersei’s blood, the witch gives Cersei three questions. Her first is, “Will I marry the prince?” Here, she’s talking about Rhaegar Targaryen, Daenerys’ brother. The witch says she will not, but she will marry the king. All Cersei cares about is being queen and she asks the witch to confirm that is the case. It is, she says, until another more beautiful and much younger comes along. Welp. What about children? Cersei wants to know will she have any. The king will have 20, but she will have only 3. And they’ll each have a golden crown and a golden shroud. Cersei’s friend has heard enough and wants to leave. The witch cackles as they do.

Bad news: Cersei was always a twat. Good news: Sounds like she’s going to get what’s coming to her.

So, does this mean Cersei will outlive all three of her children? With Tommen poised to wed Margaery, who has married two kings right before they died, and with Myrcella in Dorne with the family of Oberyn Martell, this is highly possible. 

Present day Cersei is escorted to the sept by Ser Manton. She breezes past the Lord and Ladies waiting to pay their respects to Tywin. They can wait. Cersei wants to be alone with her father’s body. Inside, Jaime stands guard over Tywin’s corpse. He’s worried everything their father built for them will be challenged now that the elder Lannister is gone. Cersei brushes off his concerns. Their real enemy is Tyrion, who at least had the balls to kill their father on purpose, unlike Jaime who killed him by accident and stupidity. Oh, Cersei. You always worry about the wrong shit. 

Game of Thrones - S5E1 - Jaime and Cersei

At a service for Tywin, Loras fumbles to find the right words to express his condolences to Cersei. She’s not even listening because she’s busy side-eye’ing the fuck out of Margaery cozying up to Tommen. She brushes past Pycelle, who wants to talk about how he knew Varys wasn’t shit.

You know what gets Cersei attention? Her cousin Lancel, all grown up. He’s also a Sparrow: a shoeless, robed, devout follower of The Seven. Kevan Lannister apologizes for his son’s attire and crazy religion talk.

Alone with Cersei, Lancel apologizes to her for all that sex they had, and for helping her spike Robert’s wine so he’d get gorged by a boar. Cersei plays dumb to all of those shenanigans. It’s like she thinks he’s wearing a wire under that robe.

Loras and Olyver are trying to have alone sexy time when Margeary barges in and announces it’s dinner time. She rudely suggests Olyver pound some sand and tells her brother he needs to be more discreet. He reminds her it’s Kings Landing where everyone knows everyone else’s business. He’s also convinced he won’t be marrying Cersei now that Tywin is gone, which sucks for sister since that mean Cersei will be going to Highgarden and leave Margaery to get her queen on in peace. Margaery isn’t so sure Cersei will be a problem.

Game of Throne S5E1 - Tyrion out the BoxTyrion – Pentos

Tyrion finally has an opportunity to stretch his legs as he’s released from his crate. He and Varys have arrived in Pentos. They’re at the home of Varys’ colleague, Ilyrio Mapotis. Ilyrio is the man who brokered Dany’s marriage to Khal Drogo. We know from the conversation Arya overheard in season one that Varys and Ilyrio are very much #TeamKhalesei. 

Doesn’t seem like Tyrion is interested in joining their cause. He’d rather drink and sit on the pity pot – not to be confused with the privy pot his father was sitting shitting on when Tyrion murdered him. 

The next day, Tyrion is still drinking. Varys explains his plan to see a good leader take The Iron Throne, and his money is on Daenerys. Tyrion is welcome to go with him to meet the Targaryen queen, or he can just mope around and drink his life away. Tyrion opts to go, and drink on the way there.

Game of Thrones S5E1 - Tyrion

Daenerys – Meereen

Daenerys has finally gotten around to tearing down the giant harpy atop the great pyramid. After one Unsullied, White Rat, oversees the toppling, he heads to the Alley o’ Hookers for a little afterwork delight. He pays a prostitute to spoon with him, stroke his hair, and hum a song. He’s practically purring when his throat is slit by a stranger in a gold mask. The prostitute just watches him die, her face expressionless.

So, basically, he came to spoon and got forked.

Daenerys reacts to the news of White Rat’s death predictably and understandably: she’s pissed. The Sons of the Harpy have caused trouble for her before, but they’ve never been violent. She wants White Rat buried with honor, which will send a message to The Sons

“Tyrion may be a monster, but at least he killed our father on purpose.” – Cersei

Missandei visits The Unsullied’s quarters to speak with Grey Worm. She wants to know why White Rat, or any Unsullied for that matter, would have need of a prostitute. Grey Worm does not know. Good answer, Grey Worm. Good answer. 

Hizdar Zo Loraq and Daario return from Yunkai where they’ve managed to restore order through compromise. However, things would go a lot easier if Daenerys reopened the fighting pits – where slaves used to fight to the death – for free men to fight free men. Deanerys refuses.

Later, in bed with Daario, she’s shocked to learn that he thinks she should re-open the pits. He tells a story about his prostitute mother, who sold him to a man who trained fighters for the pits. He made his owner so much money, he was freed after his master’s death. Which led him to The Second Sons and her. So, what the fuck this got to do with the pits?

Her talk with him does remind Daernerys of the fact that she owns fucking dragons she can’t control. No one has seen Drogon’s ass in forever – he out in them Meereenese streets – and the other two have been locked up in the catacombs. She decides to visit them. They don’t want to hear shit she has to say. They screech, breathe fire, and basically tell her to fuck off. Daenerys promptly fucks off ’cause fire.

Sansa – ???

Sansa and Littlefinger drop off Robin with Lord Royce. LIttlefinger hopes Royce can train Robin to be a proper fighter and leader his name demands. Royce watches as Robin spars with another boy and thinks Littlefinger is asking a bit much.

Game of Thrones - S5E1 - Sansa Littlefinger and Royce

On the road, Sansa wants to know why Littlefinger told Royce they were headed to The Fingers when they’re going in the wrong direction. Cause Littlfinger doesn’t trust anyone. Hell, he won’t tell her where they are going, only that it is some place not even Cersei Lannister could get her hands on Sansa.

Their carriage rides right past Brienne and Podrick who were fighting on the side of the road. She’s all cranky cause she just went 10 rounds with The Hound. Podrick thinks they still have an obligation to find Sansa and he intends to continue being her squire. She berates him because like I said, cranky.

“The freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted.” – Mance
Jon Snow – The Wall

Jon trains Olly the Ginger Minge Killer in the courtyard of Castle Black. He’s tough on the kid, but not because the kid murdered his lover, but because The Night’s Watch needs the men. Gilly is nearby with Sam and notes that Alliser Thorne still does not want her there, which makes it extra scary if he’s voted the new Lord Commander. Sam assures her he will go wherever she goes.

Melisandre tells Jon that the king would like a word with him. They ride the lift to the top of The Wall. Along the way, he notes that she doesn’t seem cold. The Lord of Light is within her. To prove it, she places his hand on her face. He looks impressed and a bit disturbed. She wants to know if he’s a virgin. He is not. Good, she says. This bitch.

Atop the wall, Stannis tells Jon he means to take Winterfell from Roose Bolton, the man who betrayed and murdered Jon’s brother. As much as Jon would love to stick a direwolf up Roose’s ass, he cannot assist Stannis as he’s sworn to protecting The Wall. Stannis doesn’t want any crows. He wants the wildlings Mance was so kind to deliver. He will offer them land and citizenship. But he needs Jon to convince Mance to tell his people they should take the offer, and Mance needs to bend the knee. And Jon has until sundown because Stannis is sick of all the plotting and waiting he did in season three and half of four.

Jon visits with Mance and tries to convince him to swallow his pride, bend the knee, and save his people. He tells him about Stannis’ offer. Mance refuses, even after learning that his execution will be by fire. He will not ask his people to die fighting for Stannis. I gotta say, I appreciate where he’s coming from: It’s one thing to convince people to risk their lives for freedom and to escape the dangers on their side of the wall. It’s entirely another to ask them to risk their lives for someone else.

Game of Thrones - S5E1 - Jon and Mance

Mance is marched into the courtyard and tied to a stake. Melisandre monologues for way too long before lighting the flame. When she does, Mance is quiet at first. As the flames begin to rise, Jon walks away. Just as Mance begins to yelp, an arrow pierces his chest. Jon has seen to it that Mance dies with a modicum of dignity.

Score | 7/10Overall Thoughts:
  • This was a solid premiere, but a tad underwhelming. As a book reader, I’ve worried that once the show covered the two books which were told concurrently, the pacing of the show would change and maybe not for the best.
  • I did find myself caring about something I never had before: where Sansa goes next.
  • No Arya, no Dorne, and no Qyburn and The Mountain.
  • Curious about the note slipped to Littlefinger.
  • Ten points to Lannister for Jaime noting, correctly, that “they” want Cersei and Jaime to fight, to have her focused on Tyrion. Makes it easy for them to swoop in and steal the throne. Too bad Cersei is obsessed with Tyrion.
  • Loved Maggy the Frog. She was kinda sexy and not at all what I expected. I also wonder if we’ll be seeing her again. I thought there was more to what she told Cersei.
About Nina Perez (1391 Articles)
Nina Perez is the founder of Project Fandom. She is also the author of a YA series of books, "The Twin Prophecies," and a collection of essays titled, "Blog It Out, B*tch." Her latest books, a contemporary romance 6-book series titled Sharing Space, are now available on for Kindle download. She has a degree in journalism, works in social media, lives in Portland, Oregon, and loves Idris Elba. When not watching massive amounts of British television or writing, she is sketching plans to build her very own TARDIS. She watches more television than anyone you know and she's totally fine with that.

10 Comments on Game of Thrones – S5E1 – The Wars to Come

  1. Loved the recap as usual!! But also I fucking love that thrones is back in my life!!! Couple of observations

    1. I love how Rhaegal and Viserion told Dany to fuck off bitch, u wasn’t with us shooting in the gym!!! Also it was funny that Daario 2.0 origin story is basically the series of Spartacus!!

    2. Tell me I wasn’t the only one to think that Melisandre was talking about her Ginger Minge(glad I get to hear Nina read this) when she said “the lords fire lives inside of her!!” I’m like Jon u best jump on that nootsie she telling you it’s fire ALREADY!!!

    3. Lastly Tyrion!! Now that is what you call a Boot and Rally!! I fucking love the possibility of uniting 2 of my fav characters, I just hope Tyrion can survive the journey!!

    That’s all I got can’t wait to hear the podcast!!

  2. This was a great first episode. Here are a few thoughts on what we saw.
    1. Cersei ? I hate this woman. She was even evil as a child. Rotten to the core since day one. I feel her on not believing the fortune teller though. I personally don?t trust any so called fortune teller who doesn?t speak in a fake ass Jamaican accent. Even though this woman was right, she still got a side eye. One last thing, has Cersei EVER fucked anyone NOT related to her? The only branches she wants are from her own family tree? Nasty heffa!
    2. Varys ? This cat stays funky fresh in those Ghostface Killah style robes. He also STAYS plotting. He and Tyrion are great together too. If they team up with Dany things could get really interesting.
    3. Marjorie ? This is another plotting ass person. I laughed at the side eye she gave her brother when she caught him in bed with that hussy. She was like ?Come on, son. You gotta at least lock the door if you?re gonna fuck one of these hoes. We gotta get you to the altar. Don?t fuck this up for me!?. Speaking of her brother, I know he was in bed with another dude, but the gayest thing he did was put on that shirt. As Charles Ramsey would say, that joint was a ?DEAD GIVEAWAY!!!!?
    4. Misande ? Hey boo!!! I thought it was funny how she was trying to find out if Grey still has his worm. She wants it.
    5. Millesandre ? I can?t stand her, but I enjoyed her Furious Styles ?Are you still a virgin? moment with John Snow on that ski lift. That was pretty good.
    6. John Snow ? I?d like to nominate John Snow to the Homeboy Hall Of Fame for putting that arrow in Mance?s chest. Snow, you?re the Real MVP.

  3. I thought that this episode was a great set up for things to come. I hope that the pacing changes and things pick up some speed. There is a lot to cover, and I do not want to get bored.

    I had my hopes set on seeing more of Arya, and was not entirely pleased to be spending so much time with Sansa. I am keeping my fingers crossed for more scenes with The House of Black and White next week.

    I like that the dragons always get a little bigger and a LOT scarier with each season. I wish that we were able to see a little more of them, but the scene they were in were sufficient to show us that Dani has NO idea what to do with them. Her baby’s have grown up…and I thought that preadolescence was hard with my 10 year old.

    I was underwhelmed at the Wall this episode. We ended with so many good things there last season. I expected a little more.

    I am SO excited to see where bearded Tyrion ends up. I love him, and every scene he is in. This is one little man that knows how to stay alive.

    Also, I DID NOT trust Jaime and Cersei in that tomb with that body. We all know what happened the last time they were in that situation.

  4. This was a good premiere. Maybe not a action packed banger as we might have expected but there probably just cause we’ve been spoiled by a full season of Daredevil. I was happy to be reacquainted with some of the major players and it was a good set up for what’s coming.

    Just a few notes:

    I’m gone need all y’all who thought that Unsullied soldier that got kilt in Meereen was Greyworm to get your eyes checked. Harriet Targayrn freed 500 of them slaves you think all of them look alike?! Hell even Matt Murdoch can see color motherfucker! I digress tho. I was glad to see them explore the Unsullied’s sexuality such as it is. You’d expect a eunuch to just have no feelings or desire but they are still human. He was just seeking out the soft touch of a woman tho he is unable to explore the complete physical pleasures of her. That scene was kind of tragically romantic before it turned violent. RIP White Rat

    Missandei so goddamn fine! That is all.

    I could listen to Tyrion and Varys trade bars all day. Tyrion drunk off that Hennessy was hilarious!

    Lancel Lannister was on that fast track Marvel workout plan cause dude got swoll in the off season. He joined The Sparrows and started eating good. Rest In Peace tho because he was talking too reckless to Cersci about family business. Cersci has been out of fucks to give since she was 12.

    Jon Snow better be careful around Melisandre. Her hot ass was looking at him like she want him to put another smoke baby in her.

    Those dragons are pissed! They like I don’t care if you’re the momma you better get your disloyal ass out of here. She may not be able to burn but she can bleed.

    But on the real fuck Mance Rayder ol’ punk ass he should have burned alive. That son of a bitch commanded his army to invade and slaughter defenseless villages for no reason and we’re supposed to believe it was all about saving “my people” fuck you! You really don’t know shit John Snow cause if you did you’d let that bitch burn. I still get teary eyed at the thought of Grenn and the other Black brothers holding the gate against that giant while reciting the oath!

    Great premiere I can’t wait to see the rest of the season but not enough to watch the leaks. Glad to be sharing this with the Fandom. Peace out!

  5. Let me start of by saying those of you who thought that the other 2 black guys on the show was grey worm you all are getting some serious fucking side-eye. The three of them look nothing alike and It really frustrated me seeing the countless tweets saying ?when did grey worm get so buff? or ?ah shit, they recast grey worm? come on people (although I did laugh when paco dakat wrote on the thread ?are all the unsullied related to drake?) people are always mistaken me for another black guy and it?s seriously annoys the hell out of me, we don?t all look alike.

    CERSEI: All that little girl needed was the i just smelled a fart stank face cersei always makes and maybe a glass of wine and she would have been perfect. I think (hope) that opening flash back is there to tell us that this season is going to be the downfall of cersei lannister and I am so ready for it.

    Jon: Jons storyline is not that intersting to me so I don?t have a lot to say about it except I have a feeling the red witch wants jons snow for more then his D.

    Lancel: Heeeeeyyyy lancel ;). High Sparrows, I just want to thank you for whatever you did to lancel because before he looked severly malnourished and now, he can get it. Was anybody really surprised that cersei had lancel poison roberts wine, shes always having people do her dirty work ugh fuck her.

    #NONUB: When that brothel scene started and that girl started to untie white rats pants I screamed. I dont ever want to see dick nub, I don?t care if this is HBO that shit would scar me for life. Its like watching another man get hit in the balls its not happening to you but you still feel that pain.

    HBO YOU PLAYIN: So hbo had no problem letting that girls vag be all exposed but they went through great lengths to make sure we saw no dick. The vag to dick ratio on this show is really uneven and im not saying this because I desperatley want to see dick on Game of Thrones (Hodors doesn?t count because that was a stunt dick) but I just want equality for all when it comes to full frontal. COME ON HBO, YOU PLAYIN.

    So as you can see I didn?t have a lot of important stuff to say about this episode because I thought it was kind of slow, hopefully next episode will pick up the pace, Cant wait to hear your podcast. (oh ya and hbo don?t think the man on man scene in tonights episode is going to make me forgive you for cancelling Looking. AGAIN HBO, YOU PLAYIN.

  6. I agree with the underwhelmed feeling about the season premiere. I needed more action.

    I don’t have much to say except I really do need my eyes checked y’all cause I swore that was Grey Worm. I just figured he was getting lessons so he could lay it down real good for Missandei even tho his missing his dick.

    The dragons scared the shit outta me! They got pretty big being chained up and all. So you know Drogon is gonna be big as hell since he’s out there eatin good and working out. Dany seriously needs the How to Train Your Dragon cliff notes right now! Cause they are pissed at mommy and just cause they can’t burn her doesn’t mean they can’t eat her.

    Totally agree that it’s gonna be awesome seeing Varys/Tyrion meet up with Dany. Cause she really needs them.

    So Cersei has been a bitch from jump. Not surprised. I can’t wait to see her get her comeuppance!

    Stay away from that Red Witch Jon! Just no!!! She’ll give him smoke baby crabs or something.

    That’s all I can think of. Hopefully it’s more action packed next week. I’m especially looking forward to Arya & Dorne.

  7. It’s good to have the show back. It took me a long time in the early seasons to get into the rhythm of the show, but I found my chill and now I enjoy these somewhat meandering set-up episodes a lot.

    Lots of man ass this episode, which was appreciated. Respect to Sansa for embracing that goth girl style. And, damn, Daenerys oughta know, your dragons may be cuter when they’re babies, but you have to at least remember you have them even when they’re going through their awkward teen years. I’d be cranky too if my mom chained me up because my brother was acting the fool and ignored me in favor of the Unsullied. Those aren’t even her real kids!

    I did notice that Michael Slovis, the Breaking Bad cinematographer, directed this. I thought it really showed, especially in some of the shots and the lighting. Always happy to see those Breaking Bad names pop up.

  8. Call me a racist cause I thought that was grey worm ..and to all the people saying that grey worm was skinny last season allot can happen in a year, dude probably getting his crossfit on .. Shout out to Lancel warning Cersei to keep her Theaten levels in check .. iwas have expecting him to say “Bean pie my sister?”

  9. I thought it was an average premiere for GoT. I did like the Cersi flashback since they used it as the opener I think the prophecy will prove significant this season. Didn’t like pacing, thought went to too many characters and nothing stood out

    That’d all I have for this episode . I know it will get better. Can’t wait to hear the podcast.

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