Previously on Game of Thrones, ‘Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken’
Jon Snow/Samwell Tarly – The Wall
Jon prepares to leave for Hardhome, and that means letting Tormund out of his chains. Many of Jon’s brothers look on, disgusted. Tormund doesn’t help matters by strutting like a man who just got a death row pardon. They leave, with Ollie side-eye’ing the entire situation.
Maester Aemon is on his death bed, taking joy in being able to “see” baby Sam, whose giggles remind him of his dead brother, Aegon (The Mad King), when he was a baby. He warns Gilly to take her baby south before it’s too late.
Later, Aemon cries out for his brother, “Egg. I had a dream I was old.” And then he dies. And then some mist got in my eyes. Aemon is laid to rest by his brothers, and with a sweet eulogy from Sam. Alliser keeps it classy as usual and takes that moment to point out to Sam all of his allies are leaving.
That night, two crows try to rape Gilly, but Sam intervenes. They beat his ass for the old and the new, but Sam still gets to his feet and demands they unhand Gilly. They’re about to kick his ass again, but Ghost arrives and shuts all that shit down. Later, Gilly has used her wilding strength to put Sam’s ass to bed so she can tend to his wounds. She makes him promise to take care of Little Sam if something happens to her. He does. I hope he realized she wasn’t talking about his dick. She starts to leave to get more water for his wounds, but he asks her to stay and then she gives him some. I guess Gilly decided to take care of Little Sam herself.
Sansa/Theon/Stannis – Winterfell
Theon brings Sansa food and tries to leave, but she presses him to help her. Ramsay has been raping her every night, but she still has friends and hope for an escape. She makes Theon promise to light the candle in the broken tower’s window to alert these friends. She reminds him of his true name.
He shuffles off, and after eyeing the tower, heads to Ramsay instead. Brienne watches the window from the inn, but it remains empty – no candle in sight.
Ramsay summons Sansa outside. The talk starts off nice enough: he was happy to marry her, they will defeat Stannis and rule the North, but then Sansa reminds him he’s about to have a baby sibling soon – most likely a brother. Won’t he have a better claim to the title than Ramsay? Ramsay points out bastards can do well these days – just look at her bastard brother Jon. He’s now Lord Commander. This news clearly shocks Sansa. But that’s not why Ramsay wanted to see her. He shows her the maid who promised help. Ramsay has flayed her after Theon snitched like a little bitch. He warns Sansa to hold on to her candle as the nights are getting colder.
Nearby, Davos has bad news for Stannis: they’ve lost 40 horses in the night due to the cold, they’re running out of food, and 500 of the Storm Crows (sellswords) ran off in the night. Davos thinks they should turn back to Castle Black, but Stannis won’t hear of it. Alone with Melisandre, he’s not quite as confident.
She reminds him of what he saw in the flames: a battle in the snow. She has seen herself walking along the battlements of Winterfell as the Bolton banners are lowered. He must become king before the Long Night begins. However, this might all have a better chance of happening if he’d be willing to sacrifice more king’s blood: Shireen’s.
“Have you lost your mind?” he asks. Then tells her to get out of his sight.
Tyrion/Jorah/Daenerys – Road to Meereen/Meereen
Jorah is successfully sold at auction as someone who will make his new master money in the fighting pits. Not wanting to be separated from Jorah, Tyrion steps up to sell himself as a sidekick – like, fighting entertainment. It works and the two are paid for the fighting they’re about to do.
In bed with Daenerys, Daario poses the question I’ve been asking: If Dany gives in to the fighting pits and marries Hizdahr, and the attacks stop, doesn’t this kinda sorta imply Hizdahr leads the Harpies? Also, he’s a tad jealous someone else will be marrying the queen. She feels she must and he points out she’s the only non-free person in Meereen. Then he suggests she waits until the Great Games (the official opening of the fighting pits), and has all the heads of the great families (and other Meereenese leaders) killed. She will not be a butcher for she is a queen, she says. He counters, if you’re not the butcher, you’re the meat.
He’s been talking to folks at Terminus.
The slave owner sends his new purchases out to fight, promising the victor will fight in the Great Games before the queen. However, the queen is already reluctantly watching today’s fight as is tradition. When Jorah sees her, and that she’s preparing to leave due to the violence, he grabs a sword and helmet and enters the fight.
He beats down everyone while Tyrion works on his chains inside the waiting area. A guard helps him by cutting them and Tyrion makes his way out just as Jorah has proven to be victorious. Jorah takes off his helmet, but Daenerys orders him out of her sight. He yells out that he brought her a gift and then out walks said gift – and he introduces himself as Tyrion Lannister.
Jaime/Sand Snakes/Bronn – Dorne
Areo Hotah escorts Myrcella in to see her uncle-daddy. Alone with her, Jaime says he’s there to take her home for it’s not safe and her mother is worried. Myrcella doesn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to come there to begin with, but Cersei told her to and now she’s been there for years. She’s happy and she wants to marry Trystane. Also, the weather is nice, the water gardens are pretty, and they actually season their food! Jaime doesn’t understand and she’s not surprised: he doesn’t even know her.
Bronn – not being of noble birth – is chilling a cell while Jaime is treated as a guest of the castle. His cell is right across from the Sand Snake’s which shows Uncle Doran don’t give.a.fuck. He sings a hilariously inappropriate song about sex with a Dornish woman. Tyene asks about his arm, which he insists is fine. When he remarks on the beauty of Dornish women, Tyene asks him to admit he’s never seen a woman more beautiful than she is – to help him along with his answer, she bares her naked body. He gets dizzy and his nose begins to bleed. Tyene reveals she poisoned him with her dagger and offers the antidote if he says she’s the most beautiful woman he’s seen. He does, of course, and she tosses him the cure, which he swallows greedily.
How funny would it be if the cure was actually the poison?
Cersei/Olenna – Kings Landing
Olenna meets with the High Sparrow in the sept. After they trade old people maladies, she calls him out on doing Cersei’s dirty work. She offers him whatever he wants in exchange for letting her grandchildren go. He claims he serves the gods; not money. She then threatens to stop sending food to the capital and will make sure all the starving people know it’s his doing. Still, he is not swayed. As she leaves the sept, she’s delivered a scroll which bears Littlefinger’s crest.
Tommen is on a hunger strike. Between that and his blue balls, he is HOT! He yells at his mother because he feels helpless, unable to save his bride. She counsels him as only a psychotic mother can. He threatens to start a war, but she reminds him Margaery would be the first casualty if he does. She flinches when he declares his love for his wife. Cersei offers to meet with the High Sparrow to do everything she can to win Margaery’s and Loras’ freedom. She will do anything for him, her only son.
Olenna meets with Littlefinger in his trashed brothel. She accuses him of orchestrating the trouble her family is in. He admits to giving Cersei what she needed: a handsome young man. And then he offers her the same.
Cersei visits Margaery in her cell. The queen is looking rough. She’s probably only been there about 12 hours, but you know the more you’re used to luxury, the harder it is on you when you lose it. Cersei is no longer the queen of Westeros, but she’s the queen of petty. She offers Margaery food: her leftovers from the night before. Margaery throws the food at Cersei and screams at her to leave.
Cersei struts and smirks, then meets with the High Sparrow, who explains the Tyrell siblings will be judged by seven septons as was the tradition before the Targaryens ruled. If one or both confess before the trial, they’ll receive the Mother’s mercy. Satisfied, Cersei prepares to leave, but the High Sparrow wants to give a religious history lesson, which she tolerates… until he asks about her sins. What will they find when her gold and name is stripped away?
Cersei is like, “Wait. What now?”
He presents Lancel, who came to him broken until he confessed his sins. Now, he’s light as a bird. And all of those sins? Well, all concerned Cersei. That’s Cersei’s cue to bounce, but she’s gripped up by a Septa and thrown into a cell.
Cersei tells the Septa to remember her face as it’s the last face the woman will see before she dies.
- I wish I cared for Sam and Gilly, I do. But I don’t. I don’t want anything bad to happen to Sam, and I love how the character has grown from the sniveling craven in season one, but this romance does nothing for me.
- Ghost! Nice that they’ve saved a bit of the CGI budget for a direwolf. If Sam were smart, he’d never let Ghost leave his side.
- We talked about this a bit in our Facebook group, and I’m sure I’ll bring it up again on tonight’s podcast: I hate that Sansa was raped, and I hate that she’s apparently still being attacked each night. I do like that, so far, she hasn’t let it break her. She was victimized, but she’s not being a victim here. She’s still fighting, trying to find a way out, even if it means trying to give confidence to the man who betrayed her family. Was that a corkscrew she pocketed while walking with Ramsay? That has to go in someone’s neck by season’s end, right? I really hope she doesn’t let the death of the old woman, or the possible harm to Theon or any ally, dissuade her from trying to fight/escape. It will be nice to see a Stark be as ruthless as everyone else for once.
- I love that the show has taken advantage of having the two people behind Joffrey’s death back in the capital at the same time. Littlefinger is still making moves. And after taking a few hits, it’s nice to see Olenna get some sort of advantage.