Previously on Game of Thrones, “Dragonstone”
So many characters I never expected to see again: Hot Pie! Nymeria! Reek!
As a storm rages outside, Daenerys gets down to the business of questioning Varys’ loyalty. Remember that time you served my father and then his usurper? Remember that time you conspired with Illyrio to make my ain’t-shit brother the king of Westeros and sell me to the Dothraki? Remember that time King Robert ordered my death and you hired an assassin?
Varys knows better than to ask, “Why you bringing up old shit?” Instead, he convinces her that his loyalty lies with what’s best for the realm (a callback to season one and certainly inline with his actions throughout the series), and he believes that is Daenerys. If ever she begins to fail the people he swears to tell her to her face and not conspire behind her back. She swears to burn him alive if he ever betrays her.
Melisandre arrives and tells Daenerys she believes she has a role to play when The Long Night comes, and that she should meet with Jon Snow. Since Tyrion can vouch for Jon Snow’s character, Daenerys agrees to send a raven to Winterfell. This is payoff from an idea that Tyrion had last season when he used the Red Priestesses from Volantis to calm the uprising against Daenerys while she was with the Dothraki. Because of that, Daenerys is willing to listen to what Melisandre has to say. Missandei offers up an interesting correction on the Valyrian phrase, “the prince that was promised,” That noun has no gender in High Valyrian so it could mean prince or princess. It probably means “the auntie and nephew who were promised.”
Next Daenerys meets with the heads of her allied forces (Ellaria, Yara, Olenna) and her small council to discuss a battle plan. Yara, Olenna, and Ellaria were promised fire and blood so they’re ready to roll up on Kings Landing with the full squad and dragons. However, Tyrion has warned Daenerys she doesn’t want to be queen of the ashes. She can’t go all Targaryen yet. They need a more strategic plan that doesn’t involve killing the people she wishes to lead. It is decided that the Iron Fleet will take Ellaria to pick up the Dornish army in Sunspear, then, along with the Tyrell army, they will lay siege to the capital making it harder for Cersei to sell that they’re being taken over by foreigners. Meanwhile, the Unsuillied and Dothraki will attack Casterly Rock. Alone with Daenerys, Olenna warns that she might not want to listen to the menfolk advising her because men are stupid. This may sound harsh, but her son was Mace Tyrell, sooooo…
“The lords of Westeros are sheep. Are you a sheep? No. You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.”
Before he leaves for Casterly Rock, Grey Worm has a naked goodbye with Missandei and shows her what that tongue do.
Cersei is no stranger to using fear to her advantage and has gathered several lords to gain their commitment to side with her when the crazy Targaryen arrives with her dragons, eunuchs, and savages. This seems to work because these lords all look like Trump supporters, and none more so than raggedy-ass Randall Tarly. Jaime promises to make him warden of the south if he’ll go against his sworn oath to the Tyrells and fight with them.
Qyburn takes Cersei to the dungeon with all the dragon skulls. He’s had a special weapon made that can penetrate dragon bone. This assures we’re losing at least one dragon, y’all.
Daenerys’s raven arrives, but Sansa cautions that despite Tyrion being a different breed of Lannister, this could be a trap. Jon then gets the raven from Sam telling him how Dragonstone is basically Dragonglass ‘r’ Us, so Jon tells the Northern lords he’s going to parlay with Daenerys. This infuriates most for several reasons: can’t trust a Targaryen, they need their king, the last time they made a Stark king he rode south and Starked it up till he lost his head.
But no one protests as loudly as Sansa, who was warned not to contradict Jon in front of company. But she is Catelyn’s daughter, sooooo…
Jon quiets some of Sansa’s concern by leaving her in charge in his stead. Y’all, I can’t wait till Davos sees Melisandre at Dragonstone. He better not say shit either because she rode south just like they told her to do.
Jon makes a stop in the crypts to say goodbye to his dad, pray for guidance, or just sulk, I don’t know. Here comes Littlefinger doing that weird whisper shit he does. Jon doesn’t fall for it one bit and when Littlefinger talks about how much he loves Sansa, Jon grips his ass up by the throat.
“Touch my sister, and I’ll kill you myself.”
So many first season callbacks in this episode, including the look on Littlefinger’s face after Jon assaults him. He knows that Starks are quick to anger and fond of using their fists. Just like he did with Ned, it’s a guarantee he’ll try to make Jon pay for that attack with the only weapon Littlefinger has: his ain’t-shit ways.
Jorah’s examination by Archmaester Ebrose brings bad news: his infection has spread a lot (no shit), and he’ll die. First, he’ll go mad. They’re not sending him to live out his days with the Stone Men, but he can’t stay there either. When Sam learns Jorah is a Mormont, he does some digging and finds experimental treatment performed by an Archmaester who eventually died of Greyscale, but it is said he did have success in curing two cases. Ebrose forbids Sam from trying to help Jorah because Ebrose is a hater who is just there to do the bare fucking minimum. Ugh. I hate he!
Sam sneaks to Jorah’s room and tells him he knew his father; because of that he won’t let him die. After liquoring them both up and putting on about 2,042 pairs of gloves, Sam proceeds to follow the writings of the dead Archmaester and cut the infected skin off of Jorah.
Those Aren’t Our Dogs Anymore
If someone’s traveling along the Kingsroad, you know we’re gonna stop at everyone’s favorite tavern: where Micah the butcher’s boy was killed, where Hot Pie works, and where Brienne once searched for Arya. Sure enough, Arya stops for a meal and sees Hot Pie, who hooks her up with free pie and ale, and news that her brother is now king in the North. Arya bids him farewell and warns him not to die. He says he won’t because he’s like her: a survivor.
RIP, Hot Pie.
Arya is headed home, but stops to set up camp. She’s surrounded by direwolves, the biggest of which is Nymeria. Once she recognizes Arya, Nymeria becomes more docile, but walks away with her pack when Arya asks her to come home with her to Winterfell.
“That’s not you.”
Arya recognizes that Nymeria has changed. Leading her own pack is who she is now; not Arya’s pet.
Once a Reek,…
On their voyage to Dorne, as the Sand Snakes argue over who gets to kill Cersei, Yara and Ellaria engage in a bit of flirting below deck. Theon prepares to make himself scarce cause he knows where it’s leading: someone’s about to get their tits fucked off.
They’re suddenly attacked by Euron’s fleet, and he boards their ship like he’s Donny fucking Wahlberg hitting the stage at a New Kids on the Block concert circa 1990. Obara and Nymeria are killed, but Ellaria and Tyene are taken hostage.
Yara seems to know the battle is already lost, but still fights valiantly until Euron gets the upperhand. With a blade to his niece’s neck, Euron taunts Theon to save her, but he doesn’t. Theon goes FULL Reek and jumps shit like a rat.
That Bolton PTSD is a bitch.
Euron will present Yara, Ellaria, and Tyene to Cersei as both proof that he’s willing to kill his own kin to be her ally and that he can provide her with the personal revenge she desires. Yara will be killed, with a body part or two sent back to Dragonstone. Yara’s fleet is completely gone so neither she nor Theon are of any use to Daenerys now. Ellaria and Tyene will be held to keep the Dornish army in line and force them to bend the knee to Cersei and fight for her when Daenerys attacks. With Randall Tarly’s bitch-ass in play, I fear for Olenna’s safety should she return to Highgarden. And Daenerys may have to go full dragon whether she wants to or not.
Game of Thrones S7E2
Starring: Kit Harrington, Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, Emilia Clarke, Aidan Gillan, Peter Dinklage, Gwendolyn Christie, Rory McCann, Richard Dormer, Hannah Murray, Pilou Asbaek, Alfie Allen, Lena Headey, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Nathalie Emmanuel, Iain Glen, Paul Kaye, Liam Cunningham, Isaac Hempstead Wright, John Bradley, Kristofer Hivju, Conleth Hill, Daniel Portman | Directed by: Mark Mylod | Written by: Bryan Cogman