Previously on Iron Fist, “Snow Gives Way”
Rather than going through a play-by-play of every episode, I’ll be hitting the more memorable and pivotal moments of Iron Fist in three episode blocks. While the premiere was hit and miss in tone and pacing, the next three episodes of the series centered their focus and provided a relatively solid narrative. However, they still had their crazy moments.
DANNY, ARE YOU OK? WILL YOU TELL US, IF YOU’RE OK?
If there’s anything I learned from Iron Fist, it’s this lesson: if you can’t beat ‘em, drug ‘em and admit ‘em to a psychiatric hospital. WHO DOES THIS? Apparently, throwing someone in a facility like that is a fate worse than death (if your would-be “assassins” were bought by Ward).
Under the care of Dr. Paul Edmonds in “Shadow Hawk Takes Flight”, Danny is regularly sedated and has pills constantly shoved down his throat as he continued to prove his actual identity. At this point it becomes a tad infuriating that no one can believe this man says who he is. We have goddamn algorithms that can simulate an aged version of a missing or presumed dead child, and no one has any mind to try that out? If he’s a vagrant as they suspect, how could they legitimately believe he’d keep any form of identification on himself?
When you don’t recall your social security number, can’t find your Blockbuster membership card, or don’t have a vial of blood around your neck to prove your identity, what’s the next best thing? Take a Costco-sized bag of M&Ms and let your OCD shine. Thanks to Colleen’s (Jessica Henwick) growing curiosity, she relays messages between Danny and Joy, resulting in the latter crying guilty white tears over a pile of the popular confectionary lacking the brown ones (ain’t that some shit) on her desk made of some sort of endangered animal, I bet.
Eventually, Dr. Edmonds also put the pieces together until poor, witless Danny began to vomit out about his adventures as a warrior monk and being trained in a mystical temple that travels every 15 years to another dimension. Sounds like someone needs another Vicodin…
Edmonds prescribed Rand to indefinite observation but a pair of Meachums had other plans for Danny. After bugging the entire hospital and catching an earful about Danny’s fantastical childhood, Harold (David Wenham) wants to transfer Rand to a safe house for potentially devious purposes. Ward, still mad about his Beemer getting scratched in the premiere, still wants to kill Danny and hires a goon squad to beat Danny like a pinata.
Little did anyone know his power comes from masochistic tendencies and before the thugs could yell out the first syllable of their safe word, Danny went full dom on them before one-punching an exit from the house of horrors. Seriously now, naivete and sudden bursts of anger aside, the man has some serious issues that need to be sorted. oof.
IF THE PRINT FITS, YOU MUST ADMITS
It’s not that surprising after Danny’s identity was confirmed via candy-coated chocolate that the Meachums are trumped up by tragic looking “art”. Yeah, a 10 year old kid made it but still… yech. In the third episode – “Rolling Thunder Cannon Punch” – Ward and Joy continue to show their asses and try to buy Rand out of his family’s conglomerate with a pithy offer of 100 million dollars. Oh, and he had to legally change his name and stay out of the public eye. If you weren’t sure the Meachums were an ain’t-shit family before, you immediately knew that moment. First off, they make 100 million in their sleep. Secondly, they drugged him and locked Danny in a mental institution when Joy kinda sorta knew Rand was who he said he was.
What a wicked pair they are. This is what happens when your daddy is too busy to raise you because he prefers to poison the earth, so your only form of pleasure is torturing kids with bob hairstyles and reading Bret Easton Ellis novels inside the family safe room.
Somehow, by the power of sandalwood, Danny recalls Jeri Hogarth (Carrie Anne Moss) from the good old days and employs her on the promise that her firm is on permanent retainer. Essentially Hogarth and Ward Meachum try to see who’s the biggest in the room (Jeri, naturally) and Joy does the unimaginable: grows the world’s most delicate conscience and gives Danny hard evidence to prove his identity. Apparently Lil’ D was really into Color Me Mine back in day and despite being under supervision, managed to create the world’s ugliest bowl. Joy never “accidentally” dropped it for mercy’s sake and it’s good thing because a print was affixed in the mold and bada bing bada boom, how bout dem apples Rand’s the man.
ALL IN THE (severely disturbed and irrevocably damaged) FAMILY
OK, so Danny’s sticking around… Big whoop! The Meachums have far bigger fish to fry, like how to avoid a massive class-action lawsuit, how to inflate prices for new meds and what design should Ward get for his next batch of business cards. There’s also the small matter of the Meachum patriarch living in seclusion under the “protection” of an international cartel full of countless zombie ninjas.
Harold Meachum was revealed to be alive in the premiere yet the reasons for his secretive lifestyle finally came to light with Madame Gao (Wai Ching Ho) rolling up in Harold’s creepy penthouse. I guess when everyone thinks you’re dead, you can match industrial and postmodern aesthetics anyway you please. No wonder they’re all savages. Anyway, Harold’s liaison to the outside world is his erratic son Ward, the only person aside from The Hand that knows he’s alive. The elder Meachum couldn’t give two figs about Danny futzing things up in the boardroom, as long as The Hand’s operations within Rand Enterprises remain solvent. Besides, Harold could actually use Rand as a get-out-of-jail-free card if he truly is the Immortal Weapon. So far he’s batting below the Mendoza line with one sure strike during his escape from the mental hospital. Plus it wasn’t so impressive when the Urban Outfitter did his best Peter Parker impersonation and was nearly bodied by Ward. But OF COURSE.
Does K’un L’un offer correspondence courses because I think Danny is still a few units short of graduation. My goodness…