Previously, on King of the Nerds: “In Search of a King”
You guys remember Virgil from last season? I miss him. He was oddly intriguing. But that was then and this is now. And I have to say, this is a much nerdier group than last year.
We have ten nerds left competing to be crowned king. After Kelsey was sent packing, they all gathered in Nerdvana to toast to something super nerdy. I can’t really understand what they’re saying. And they’re not even drunk. I think they’re drinking water.
So, the buzzer alarms and everyone heads out to the courtyard where Bobby and Curtis are dressed like Beaker and Einstein with a chemistry set. Nicole panics, because for some reason she’s hiding the fact that she’s a chemist. Nobody cares, Nicole. Bobby and Curtis announce that today’s nerd war will involve the old grade school science project of making a volcano. I suppose that using the old baking soda/vinegar thing won’t work. They actually have to use some sort of chemicals to create a good reaction.
They head to the Radio Shack lab – which if you remember, is inside a TARDIS – to begin their work. Then they’re off to their team war rooms. Zack freaks out about how awesome the yellow team’s war room is but doesn’t have time to enjoy because he just doesn’t have time for that. I think I kind of love him. Nicole is still hiding her true identity, even though it would potentially come in handy RIGHT NOW. Isn’t this what you came here for? To use your chemistry skills on a chemistry challenge? I’m done with you. Please leave. Much to Nicole’s disappointment, Zack reveals her true chemist self. I love him even more now.
The purple team is boring and not that good as a team. I predict they will slowly be picked off until all that remains is Xander, the gay nerd, my second favorite of the nerds.
Josh of the yellow team comes up with the idea of throwing a ring into their volcano, which they are modeling after Mordor. That is an excellent idea. Meanwhile, the purple team has accomplished nothing except for painting a banner. Kayla hates everyone on her team. To be honest, she’s kind of the problem. She shoots down every idea the team has. I mean, their ideas suck, but still. Katie heads off to the bathroom to cry to in a stall and the rest of us cut to commercial break.
When we come back, it is presentation time. I’m just gonna assume Katie slept in that stall. This competition is being judged by Bill Nye, a fetus who is a genius, and Amy Farrah Fowler. Who actually has a PhD in neuroscience. I’m not sure I knew this.
The purple team, Titans of Rigel, have put together a skit to go along with their presentation. Katie is here so I guess she left the bathroom at some point. Xander is very exuberant. I can’t say the same for the volcano. Rather than exploding as a volcano would, stuff just sort of flows out like a snake. And then there was an earthquake and acid rain. I’m confused. This is more show than science. Bill Nye points out all the flaws to it.
The yellow team starts with Jack giving some very boring chemistry lessons about how volcanos actually work. Then the rest of the team follows with info about Mordor. And then Jack’s dumbass drops the One Ring. He dumps some liquid in and the volcano then smokes. “No lava?” says Mayim Bialik. Nope, because Jack dropped the ring. Nicole calls Jack a squib for dropping the ring. You’re a squib, ginger! Go home! You’re not even using that term correctly.
The fetus votes for the purple team. Mayim Bialik votes for the yellow team. We are kindred spirits! Bill Nye votes for the purple team. But the yellow team is wearing lab coats, Bill! Lab coats!! Why do I let myself get attached to people? Between this show and American Idol, I may never love again.
The purple team gets to hang out with Bill Nye while the yellow team decides who’ll they’ll vote into the nerd off. Since Jack fucked up the presentation, I’d vote for him. Nicole will vote for whoever Zack does not vote for because she’s still mad that he told everybody she was a chemist.
Gathered in the throne room, votes are tallied. The votes amongst the yellow team are nearly unanimous for Zack. Zack thinks he led the whole presentation but the rest of his team disagrees. Zack is now “through with everything”. Maybe I don’t love him as much as I thought I did. The purple team has voted for Josh to go into the nerd off. Josh clearly hates Zack and Zack clearly thinks he knows much more than Josh about everything. Before going into the nerd-off, Zack hugs the rest of his team who are all then like, “Where can I burn my clothes?”
The nerd-off is about alien autopsies. I wonder if all my years of watching The X-files would help me with this. I used to have an “Area 51” poster on the outside of my bedroom. That qualifies me for this competition, right?
Zach uses his photographic memory to memorize all information about aliens. Jack is a medical student, so he helps Josh learn human anatomy. Everyone is teaming up to help Josh so that there’s no way Zack has to stick around, because he is a “cancer”. I am seeing that now. I fell too quickly. It was the dimples. But I see the truth now. He’s probably got a pocket protector at home made out of human skin.
Nerd off! There’s a giant alien prop on the operating table with Bobby lying on another table where he awaits organ transplants to save his life. Zack and Josh have to pull out the proper organs and place them in a jar. The first to get three wins. Curtis reads of what a certain organ does and the boys race to find the correct one. Zack bitches when he doesn’t know an answer and Josh tells him to stop whining. I feel like could turn into a slapping, hair-pulling girl fight.
Zack wins 3-to-1. Nobody is happy with this decision except for Zack himself. I was really wrong about the outcome of the teams!
Everyone hugs Josh and cries and he leaves. Come back next week when Zack potentially goes apeshit on the rest of the contestants and makes iPhone cases out of their skins.