I get it. We get these crossovers for the same reason we get The Avengers movies. It’s a lot of fun to see superheroes join forces. Also, ratings. I just wish the impetus for this superhero get together was… better.
First, Monday’s Supergirl had fuck-all to do with this crossover, despite what the promos said. Barry and Cisco showed up at the very end for 42 seconds and then they had the nerve to show that same scene on The Flash.
The first 40 minutes of The Flash were filled with Cisco being petty, Iris doing to Wally what she hated when it was done to her in season 1, and the team “training” to fight the aliens by attacking Supergirl while she laughed at the puny humans. When they finally take on The Dominators, the president is killed, most of the heroes are mind-controlled into beating Barry’s and Oliver’s asses until Wally West comes in for an assist.
The entire hour of Arrow was spent watching Oliver and company live out their perfect lives while they were really aboard one of the aliens’ ships being fed these false images. Once they realize what’s going on, Thea decides she wants to stay because she has the life she wanted and Oliver is cool with it because he just wants her to be happy and I hate everything.
So, the REAL action takes place on Legends of Tomorrow, which has become the best of the DCTV shows and I don’t know that any of us saw that coming.
The plan is for some of the group to time travel to Redmond, Oregon 1951 to kidnap one of The Dominators during their battle with the U.S. military. Rory, Amaya, Nate, Cisco, and Felicity take off for that mission, and end up rescuing one of the aliens from being tortured by the government. When this later comes back to bite them in the ass, Cisco finally stops being sanctimonious long enough to realize his friend screwed up the timeline, but not on purpose. Good. Bitchy Cisco was getting the hell on my nerves.
The others stay behind to meet with the new president, but first, Oliver has to be all Privileged White Male and ask Supergirl to stay behind. Let that marinate. The guy with the bow and arrow and abs asked the indestructible super alien to sit this one out because it would make him feel better.
Stein keeps his daughter Lily at arm’s length because he has no intention of letting the aberration stand. Clearly, he’s not paying attention to Barry’s actions. Trying to fix it almost always makes it worse. Plus, she’s super smart and has a degree in nano-technology so he eventually comes around.
The team learns that The Dominators are there because Barry created Flashpoint. Basically, they’re not here for humans (meta-humans) getting too big for their britches. So not only is Barry fucking things up in different timelines and decades, he’s being a pain in the ass in space. Nice. They’ll back off if Barry will just come with them, and of course he agrees because that’s what heroes do. It would have been nice if he even mentioned Iris before he carried his happy ass off to parts unknown, but nah. (I later found out he did ask Felicity to pass a message to Iris, but it was cut for time. They needed that time so we could see Felicity vomit a few times.)
Cisco finally remembers Barry is his friend after embarrassing the hell out of him and shading him on three different shows, and everyone tells Barry they’re in this together. Jax finally pops up about 45 minutes into the episode of his own show. Hey, Jax! Glad you could make it. Don’t worry; Captain White Privilege with the bow and arrow has been holding shit down.
Everything comes to ahead on a helipad… for reasons. We get the Civil War-esque shot of the adversaries running towards each other and the special effects and fight choreography were pretty damn good. I did wonder why Diggle was there with his pistol and helmet, but…
Even though Oliver was all dude-bro to Kara earlier, she saves him after one of the aliens slaps him off the roof. She’s clearly not as petty as I am. Firestorm (who really doesn’t get enough credit) trans-mutates the aliens’ bomb into water while Barry and Kara light up the aliens around the city with some science-y stuff that sends them running to their home planet.
The day is saved, everyone is friends again, and we’ll do this again the next time one or all of the shows needs a ratings boost.
And I’ll be there.
Legends of Tomorrow S2E7 = 8.1/10