Previously on Pretty Little Liars, ‘Game Over, Charles’
It’s been five years since we last saw the Liars, leaving town to begin their A-free lives. So much has changed! Everyone has jobs. Their relationships can no longer be classified as statutory rape. And ABC Family is now FreeForm! Whatever the hell that means.
Wait. If this is five years in the future, I wonder if we’ll see the iPhone 11 or if Bernie Sanders is president.
Alison is now a teacher at the high school and petitioning for Charlotte’s release from the crazy house. The Liars have been summoned by the court to give victim statements that may have influence on the judge’s decision. Alison decides to pen them each a letter asking to meet with them before they do. Because when you’re asking your friends to forgive your crazy-ass sister for torturing them for years, a Hallmark card ain’t gonna cut it. You gotta put a personal touch on that shit.
This means that Aria takes a break from her job at a publishing house, Hanna dips out of her job in the fashion industry and flying first class, Spencer stops lobbying in Washington, and Emily pauses her gig in the movie Cocktail.
The Liars meet at The Brew and immediately take 189,302 selfies. Their Instagrams are LIT. They catch up for a bit and we learn Hanna is engaged, Aria’s new bae is named Liam and he’s adorable (or maybe that’s her cat; I don’t know), and Emily took five years to finish college and is clearly lying about her job. How any of these girls got into college is beyond me. They spent their entire senior year being held captive. I bet the school just gave them diplomas to be done with them.
Other changes include: Emily’s father has died, Spencer’s mom is running for Senate, and Radley is now a chic hotel/restaurant run by Hanna’s mom. Ezra is back living above the coffee shop, but only because there was a tragedy in South America where 15 people (including Nicole – the girl he left town with) were kidnapped by revolutionaries and are presumed dead. Tobi is now a lumberjack or something.
Oh, and Emily might be on drugs.
One thing that hasn’t changed: Spencer still dresses like someone’s peri-menopausal auntie who carries around a dogeared copy of Eat, Pray, Love.
Alison’s appeal to her old friends goes just about as well as you’d expect when four girls are asked to advocate for the release of the woman who tried to kill them. Emily looks pained, Aria looks confused, Spencer acts all superior, and Hanna is petty as fuck.
In the end, all of the Liars lie and say they feel safe and don’t mind if Charlotte is freed. All of them except Aria, who tells a heartbreaking story about breaking down on the train. Mona also testifies and she believes the years Charlotte spent in Radley made her twisted. Mona knows what that’s like and asks the judge to let Charlotte go home.
Later, the Liars receive the news that Charlotte is released and they drown their sorrows and fears in liquor at the new Radley.
The next morning, a frantic call from Alison reveals Charlotte is missing. She’s later found dead of an apparent suicide. But this is Rosewood and nothing is ever as it seems. Detective Lorenzo (a.k.a. the cop who was too damn old to be dating Alison five years ago) tells the Liars not to leave town as they’ve ruled Charlotte’s death a homicide.
Best Bits & Questions
- When Ezra jumps in Aria’s ass when she was just trying to be nice, the look on her face said, “Motherfucker, I wasn’t A., but it’s not too late for that to change.” That girl is evil. I know it.
- The phone in Hanna’s hotel room was as long as my damn arm.
- Is Emily a junkie or ill?
- Who is Toby building a house for? How pathetic would it be if it’s for Spencer?
- I bet Aria killed Charlotte. She had a Wish a Motherfucker Would look on her face from the moment she got back into town.
Pretty Little Liars S6E11
I’m pleasantly surprised by the new mystery that will keep the Liars in town. The show works best when you’re suspicious of everyone and it’s the Liars vs. Alison. Here, they’re understandably on different sides of this and I wonder how long it will be before Alison suspects one of her friends murdered her sister. It will be very bold of the show to make the murder one of the girls, but I’m not holding my breath.