Previously on Pretty Little Liars, ‘The Gloves Are On’
This episode had to break a record for awkward moments. Right up there with that very special episode of *Different Strokes where Mr. Drummond had to explain masturbation to Arnold. All throughout this episode’s machinations, the foursome of Caleb, Spencer, Hanna, and Toby had to act like it’s not at all weird and gross that Spencer and Caleb had sex.
And I know it’s in the title and all, but damn. These girls lie about EVERYTHING. They can’t help themselves. More than coming off as close friends who are ride or die, they just bring out the absolute worst in each other.
Even though Spencer is basking in the afterglow of sex with Caleb, she’s still acting weird and possessive when she learns Toby is going to propose to his girlfriend, Yvonne. To make matters worse, Yvonne seems like a lovely young woman who doesn’t deserve the inevitable shit storm she’s bound to get caught up in now that Spencer is back in town and Toby’s life. Toby seems to understand this.
Still, Spencer has to smile through a joint political event with Yvonne since she’s the daughter of Mrs. Hasting’s opponent.
Ezra has left town for a few days so Aria enlists Emily’s help in breaking into his apartment. Emily distracts Sabrina with a semi-flirtatious coffee date, while Aria swipes the key to Ezra’s loft. Once inside, she hears a suspicious voicemail from her father to Ezra. Shocking, right? I know! Who the fuck has an answering machine in 2016?
Aria remembers a fight between her parents where it seemed her mother was willing to forgive Charlotte and had even visited her in the mental hospital. Aria’s dad? Not so much. There’s a pretty good chance he beat Charlotte’s head in with a missing golf club.
Sabrina figures out what Emily did and lays into her. Poor Emily. Rosewood has about 10,382 lesbians and she’s destined to blow it with all of them.
Hanna takes two steps forward, and then one back. First, she does the right thing and tells her mother about deleting the security cam footage. When her mother is rightfully like, what the entire fuck?, Hanna says she was just helping her friends. Ashley explains there’s backup footage at a server farm and Hanna suggests a road trip to break in and steal it.
Bless her stupid little heart.
Then Hanna tells her fiancee, Justin, what she did, but instead of calling off their engagement, he offers to hook her up with his father’s connection of lawyers because rich white folks. Even though the attorney (and Justin) warns Hanna she needs to tell them everything, Hanna leaves out the part about a mystery person texting and threatening them. But it doesn’t seem to matter since the police report that someone has stolen the backup drive from the server farm.
And it appears Ashley hasn’t changed all that much either. She has the stolen hard drive and when she opened the cupboard in her kitchen, I was about 98% sure she was going to hide it in a box of pasta.
*I have no idea if that ever really happened on Different Strokes.
Pretty Little Liars S6E14
Rosewood is the shadiest town EVER. Everyone is suspicious. Who is Aria’s father meeting with at Radley and in the back of cars? Who’s the person posing as an old bellhop in a mask from the set of Mission Impossible 2?
Where the hell is Ezra? Mona? Alisons?
Notice how now that we know what’s going on with Emily, she’s no longer sneaking off to take injections?
I wonder how many people actually root for these girls. They’re their own worst enemies. I’m half hoping the series ends with all of them in jail because they clearly can’t have nice things.