Previously on Pretty Little Liars, ‘New Guys, New Lies’
Pretty Little Liars has never met a ridiculous plot twist it didn’t like.
Aria comes home to find her father waiting for her, sitting in the dark. That’s creepy on a regular-old day, but super fucking creepy on the day you suspect your dad beat a woman to death. He wants to tell her something. Not how he beat a woman to death, but how he’s dating someone.
“Did you know about this?” Aria asks her mother, who strolls into the room and practically sits on the father’s lap.
You guessed it. Mr. Montgomery’s big secret is that he and the ex-Mrs are going to be Mr. and Mrs. again. All the sneaking around and staying in hotel rooms is for boning. Aria is so shocked (and probably grossed out) that she can only muster up a half-hearted congratulations.
Emoji Stalker hacks their phones and arranges for Spencer and Yvonne to meet for lunch, because this person’s grand plan is to kill Spencer with awkward. When Yvonne forgets her phone in the restaurant, Spencer takes it to Caleb with the hope he can use it to track Emoji. Later, Spencer brings the phone back to the restaurant and finds Mona is there looking for it.
Spencer lets Aria talk her into breaking into Sara’s room at Radley. Why Spencer is letting someone who owns a selfie stick convince her to jump between balconies is beyond me. Inside Sara’s room, Spencer finds blueprints of the building before and after the renovations and realizes Sara’s room was Charlotte’s old room. Aria isn’t there to react because it seems she’s crawled through a hidden hole in the wall and down a ladder into darkness. As you do.
Hanna is pretty sure her mother took the hard drive because her mother has a history of breaking the law to protect Hanna from her poor life choices. Even so, Ashley lies her little ass off when confronted. Now Hanna’s stressed because Emoji keeps texting and asking about the hard drive.
Her fiancee, Justin, is just about the cutest, dumbest, most clueless schmo ever – which might mean he’s Emoji. You know what? He REALLY is too good to be true. He’s Emoji.
Anyway, Hanna quits her job, sees Caleb and Spencer all boo’ed up, and just pretty much has the worst day ever.
Good thing Emily’s procedure is now because the hormones are making her a hyper mess. She even blurts out her plans to Alison because she assumed Elliot already told her. It took me a good ten minutes to figure out who the hell Elliot is, and I probably still got his name wrong. Alison accompanies Emily to the hospital and is there for her when Emily wakes up and hallucinates that Sara was in the room.
Alison is also there when the nurse informs Emily that while she was in surgery, the couple buying her eggs backed out because the wife discovered she’s pregnant. Well, that’s fucked up. Emily opts to donate her eggs to a fertility clinic because, well, shit they’re already out and she can’t afford to freeze them.
Speaking of which, does Emily still get paid? Who paid for this procedure? I have questions.
Later, someone does a ding-a-dong-ditch while Emily is resting and she finds a bag of groceries at the door. In it, a carton with missing eggs and a note that Emoji has her eggs. Maybe.
Look, if this show does another time jump and Emoji shows up with Emily’s kid, I quit.
Pretty Little Liars S6E15
Emoji needs to kick it up a notch or four because I’m bored. If the girls are going to regress to behaving like their 17-year-old selves, at least make Emoji more terrifying and raise the stakes a bit. Alison, of all people, seems to have matured the most, but an Alison on her best behavior just isn’t fun to watch.
And I cannot imagine the point of putting Emily through this silly egg donation storyline unless it involves her child somewhere down the line. Man. I really hope not.
What was Aria’s mom doing in the other room while the dad was sitting in pitch darkness? That was example of the show having an unnatural moment just to illicit a cheap moment of suspense. PLL has done this in the past and much better.
Still, for all my complaints, I’m determined to ride this out. And Caleb getting one over on Emoji at the end was a nice change of pace.