Previously in Saga, Vol #3
Instead of reviewing the next full volumes as a whole – as I covered the first two volumes – I will review each issue in the volume separately, but in one post. When I catch up to current issues (which should be within the week), I’ll begin covering each new issue the day after it is released.
Upon reading the last page of this issue, I yelled out, “Nooooo!” The story opened on a birth and ended with a death, of sorts.
Prince Robot IV’s wife gives birth to a baby TV boy, and is immediately insulted when a nurse assumes the boy will be taking his dead father’s name – names can only be passed down if the father is dead and she insists Robot IV is still alive.
Marko watches Hazel play in a park on the planet of Gardenia – shitty looking planet with beautiful weather. A mom at the playground flirts with him and gives him a card for her dance studio, in case he wants lessons for little Hazel. I suspect she really wants to teach Marko some moves. She has no idea who or what they are as Marko has his face and horns hidden and Hazel’s wings are covered.
Alana has joined the Open Circuit underground acting troupe, but she kinda sucks at it. When a virtual reality audience member heckles her, Alana loses her entire shit and is promptly fired. Oswald’s ex-wife, Yuma, vouches for Alana and threatens to quit if she remains fired. When Alana arrives home, she’s furious to learn Marko took Hazel to the park, something she has forbidden he should do because she’s frightened someone will recognize them – and Marko’s disguises are kinda shitty.
They kiss and make up with Hazel “skished” (squished) between them, and then she narrates that this is the story of how her parents split up.
Son of a bitch!
So, Prince Robot IV is a freak. Like, a superfreak. He’s busy getting serviced by three hookers on Sextillion and running up a huge tab in the process. The madame, Mama Sun, knows he’s royalty and knows he’s clearly not in his right mind, but she’s going to keep milking this guy under the guise of “respecting the customer’s privacy.” She could give less than a shit that he has a newborn son at home.
Marko is pulling daddy duty while Alana works on her show. Not exactly sure what to do with a screaming Hazel, he takes her to the dance studio of the hussy he met in the park. Ugh.
Alana tries drugs for the first time with Oswald’s ex, Yuma. She’s even more beautiful when she’s tripping balls.
Speaking of tripping, Marko is getting way too cozy with this dance teacher. They’re both lonely and he tells her his name is Barr. I hate her. I was filled with childish glee when Hazel pointed at her and said, “Daddy, her is ugly.”
Yes her is, Hazel. Yes her is.
Dengo, a disgruntled janitor and grieving father in the royal robot’s palace, kills Prince Robot’s IV’s wife and takes his infant son. He promises the baby he’ll grow up to help every child in the Robot Kingdom, not just the rich and noble ones.
Things just keep getting sadder and my heart is breaking.
Even though Alana hates the product placement spots they have to shoot, she is able to work on the Open Circuit and make money while staying hidden. She tries drugs for the second time, while at work, and the way Hazel narrates that this is a time in Alana’s life she doesn’t like to talk about makes me think this situation is going to get worse before it gets better.
Marko and Hazel are spending more time with Ginny and her daughter, and I’m still not here for that shit. I guess because I identify with Alana so much, it’s hard for me to read about her marriage failing. Things are so bad that even when Marko passionately grabs Alana the moment she walks into their bedroom, their sex feels sad and not at all sensual.
Dengo still has the baby prince and is taking him to Gardenia – where Alana and Marko are currently residing. And Mama Sun finally allows her people to wake Prince Robot IV from his drugged state to tell him that his wife has been murdered and his son – who he didn’t even know existed – has been kidnapped. Without hesitation, he kills her. Good riddance.
Remember that whole “it will get worse before it gets better” prediction? Yup.
Alana and Marko are spending so much time away from home that neither is in range for the translators aboard their ship to work. Izabel has no idea what Klara is saying, but Hazel understands: her grandmother is worried about her parents. And for good reason.
Alana is high while working and forgets her lines. She improvs a line from one of Heist’s books, which Yuma warns could be a problem. Sure enough, Upsher is watching and may have figured out Alana’s true identity. Alana arrives home and Marko catches her doing drugs. They each hurl accusations: “Who’s Ginny?” “Have you ever been high around Hazel?” When Marko hits Alana with a bag of groceries, she kicks him out of the house.
Prince Robot IV meets with his father, King Robot, who’s not at all moved by IV’s grief. He’s sorry for his loss, but he doesn’t trust him to bring the murderer/kidnapper to justice. He dismisses his son, telling him to get his shit together. Later, Agent Gale approaches IV and tells him about a tracking device aboard the ship Dengo stole. If they’re lucky, they can stop him before he starts a revolution.
Dengo arrives at the TV station and murders the boss and an actor before focusing on Yuma. He wants someone to put him on TV so he can broadcast his message. Yuma pleads for her life and tells him she can’t put him on TV, but she can get him something better.
Please tell me this bitch isn’t going to snitch on Alana and Marko.
So much bitchassness in one issue.
Marko took his raggedy ass over to Ginny’s. He didn’t know where else to go after his wife kicked him out, he shouldn’t be there, yada yada yada. Meanwhile, IV has found the crash site of the stolen aircraft. Lots of dead bodies, but no Dengo, and a soiled diaper tells him his son is still alive.
Yuma did exactly what I didn’t want her ass to do: she told Dengo about Alana, Marko, and Hazel. No one will care about his cause or his dead son, but they will care that the war is being fought at their expense while both governments are aware of proof it doesn’t have to be that way. She tells him where he can find Alana and Marko, but he shoots her anyway. Good.
Izabel is trying to tell Alana to get up out her damn feelings and realize that life is too short to be this damn petty. Alana ain’t here for it and pops more drugs. At Ginny’s, Marko finally comes to his senses when he spot Hazel’s stuffed animal, the one she can’t sleep without. He has to get it to her. Run, Marko, run!
Alana has a meltdown. She knows she’s screwed up. Dengo interrupts her pity party. He grabs Hazel, but before he can make too many demands, Alana instructs the ship to blast off. Klara attacks Dengo and bites off one of his fingers. I love these women. He gets Klara in a chokehold and threatens to shoot her if Alana doesn’t direct the ship to specific coordinates.
On Gardenia, Marko watches helplessly as the ship takes off with his family. Yuma appears, not dead after all, and apologizes. Before she can give a full account of her bitchassness, Prince Robot IV arrives. And boy does he remember Marko’s ass.
The Brand a.k.a. The Will’s sister a.k.a Sophie is on Quietus, trying to track down whoever stabbed her brother. She learns from Ghus (the shepherd who sold Alana the pet walrus, Friendo, for Hazel) that The Will’s ship is still nearby and a dark-skin woman has been using it.
Gwen and Sophie (who is now almost 8 and still adorable) have just obtained a spell that should be able to revive The Will. They’re confronted by Sophie, who accuses Gwen of trying to kill her brother. Sophie confesses it was her, but she was under the influence of a drug. When The Brand hears that her brother named the young girl after her, she realizes they were his friends after all. They agree to team up and get the spell to him in the hospital.
Yuma is also on Quietus, hoping Ghus can track Friendo, which will in turn lead her to Alana and Hazel. And she’s not just looking for herself.