Previously on Scandal, ‘Gladiators Don’t Run’
How Do You Say ‘Bullshit’ In Farsi?
The Iranians are ready to purchase Olivia, but first the woman in charge needs to confirm Liv’s identity. Olivia takes advantage of the fact that she speaks Farsi (OF COURSE!) – and her kidnappers don’t – to manipulate them into believing the Iranians are about to double-cross them. She convinces the Iranians of the same. The deal is off and Olivia lives to trust her gut another day.
Abby is still out of the loop. Cyrus won’t even acknowledge that there’s a something to discuss when Abby asks if Liv is dead or alive.
At OPA, Quinn been drankin.’ Quinn been drankin.’ Quinn getting turnt in her office when Jake comes in with the good news that the deal fell through and Olivia is still alive. Quinn sobs into Jake’s muscular, firm, perfect chest.
Andrew is getting amnesty. He will not be punished one lick for what he did. Of course, all of this is contingent upon him keeping his fucking mouth shut AND Olivia getting home safely. Mellie can’t help but taunt him a bit, reminding him that he’s a loser and he’ll always be a loser. He counters that any time he wants he can just whisper into a reporter’s ear all the dirty, kinky shit she’s into. Um, dude, you just signed a confidentiality agreement!
Fitz is being briefed in the Situation Room and the CIA Director breaks it down thusly: We can try to extract her, but that plan has a 30% chance of working. It’s better if we just kill Olivia because she knows too damn much. Fitz listens, as any reasonable president would, and then he tells her to extract Liv anyway because he is the WORST president in fictional history. The CIA Director looks at him like he has lost his ever-loving mind.
In the Oval Office, Fitz is going on about the nerve of his administration, actually expecting him to do the smart, presidential, patriotic thing. Cyrus zones him right the fuck out and then fantasizes that he tells Fitz just how much of a disappointment he truly is. Unfortunately, he snaps out of it and yes sirs Fitz to death.
Mellie goes to Lizzie and demands she handle Andrew. Lizzie isn’t sure what she can do. Mellie tells her she slept with Andrew to stop Huck from shredding her back so Lizzie might want to figure something the fuck out. And that’s when Lizzie realized she ain’t on Mellie’s level.
Jake warns Huck that he needs to reign his crazy in. Olivia might not come back, and he can’t rely on her to be the thing that stops him from going full-psycho. Abby consults David, who’s further out of the loop than she is.
Desperate, Lizzie arrives at OPA and asks Huck to take care of Andrew. He says he doesn’t kill anymore. Lizzie ain’t tryna hear that shit.
Cyrus meets with the CIA Director and agrees they need to “neutralize the asset” behind Fitz’s back. Abby suspects fuckery so she confronts Cyrus, who doesn’t deny it. And it pains him to do it because he loves Liv, too. She’s the godmother of his daughter who he never sees! He warns Abby to keep her mouth shut.
eBae Part Two
Team JHQ get back into the auction for Liv, using the name Marie Wallace. It comes down to a tie between them and the Russians. When Gus asks Olivia which one they should choose, she says Marie Wallace because Olivia is dumb. Gus recognizes that Olivia still thinks she has a shot. She doesn’t look nearly as upset as she should knowing she’s being sold to a terrorist. He says the Russians can have her.
Abby finds out Liv was lost and tries to warn Fitz about what Cyrus is about to do, but Cyrus intercepts the shit out of that play.
No More Blood
Huck gives Andrew the Dexter treatment, but instead of killing him, he injects Andrew in the neck. Then he tells Lizzie to call the paramedics.
Cyrus oversees the mission that Fitz believes will be an extraction. WHY wouldn’t Fitz be there for that? He’s been in the room for every other discussion or operation to get back Bae. Abby reaches out to David and wants to know if he has any connections at INTERPOL. Knowing that Olivia will be killed by the CIA, David agrees to help.
Jake visits Mama Pope to see if there’s anything she can do and she sends him to Prescott Lake in Canada. There he finds Papa Pope. Rowan is not surprised to learn that Jake has lost Olivia. He Papa Popes for a full five minutes, scaring away all the fish, before telling Jake that Olivia is not his daughter. He basically Bye Felicia’d him.
Olivia’s captors are packing up to go when she tries to make a run for it. Gus stops her with a backhand. He’d been saving that hit since she got him with that pipe. Abby tries to get in to see the Director at INTERPOL, but she’s detained. She makes a phone call.
The fake extraction mission is underway when Cyrus changes his mind, but it’s too late. The extraction team is too far away. Cyrus calls off the whole thing at the last second when he recognizes someone on the screen.
STEPHEN!! Let’s take a moment to drink him in, shall we?
Stephen is with the Russians? Yes, kinda. It doesn’t matter because Olivia is not, as Jake predicted, being sold to a Russian Rape Gang! Olivia realizes this, clearly, and snatches Stephen’s gun so she can pop a long overdue cap in Gus’ ass. Then she kicks the shit out of him, repeatedly.
Abby is the one who got Stephen involved because once a gladiator, always a gladiator. Cyrus is all, “What’s a gladiator?” But more importantly, he’s like, “Are you going to tell Fitz I ain’t shit?” Abby agrees to keep her mouth shut.
At the helicopter set to take Olivia home, she asks Stephen to come back with her, but he’s happy where he is – being a spy and NOT married to Georgia as we thought. They hug and us OG Gladiators cheered.
At Olivia’s debriefing she reflects on what happened to her and her hand begins to shake.
Home Sweet Home, Now With 200% More Locks
Team JHQ take Olivia home where Huck has put about fifty ‘leven locks on the door. She wants to be alone so they leave pretty quickly, but not before Huck awkwardly tells her he was pretty sure she was going to be chopped into bits, but boy is he happy that didn’t happen.
The Audacity of Pope
No sooner does the door close behind them does someone knock on the door. It’s Fitz. Looking pitiful. What’s the first thing he wants to know? If Olivia was hurt. She thinks that’s code for, “Were you raped?” She reassures him no one else besides him (and Jake… and possibly Edison?) have known the pleasures of her platinum vagina. However, Olivia has learned that there are worse things than rape – and finding out the man you compromised yourself for so he could be president is really, really, really bad at his job (like terrible) is one of them.
Fitz is so confused. Surely sending innocent men and women to their deaths for your sidepiece is a panty dropper. Not so much. Olivia tells him she’s disappointed in him. And then she throws his friendship ring at him and shows him the door, now with 200% more locks.
- It was so wonderful to see Henry Ian Cusick again, but it was not enough to justify this ridiculous kidnap storyline. Everyone came together – to some degree – and worked to free Olivia. Unfortunately, she was working against as she tried to be her own savior. The auction was silly and went on for far too long. However, I still think the mid-season premiere, Run, was the best episode of the series so far.
- Are both Olivia and Huck going to suffer from PTSD now?
- How long before Fitz is calling Olivia in the middle of the night for dirty talk?