Previously on Scandal, ‘It’s Good to Be Kink’
Early morning calls wake Olivia out of a nightmare and Cyrus and Abby out of sleep. They all rush to OPA where Huck drags in Michael. He was found in a gay bar, doing vodka shots off some guy’s neck, and it’s all over the news.
Olivia tells Cyrus he has to get married this week to change the conversation, and it has to be big. Cyrus doesn’t want to get the White House involved with Fitz trying to get so many bills passed and Mellie running for senate. This gives Liv an idea. She approaches Mellie and talks her into publicly endorsing the marriage and hosting the event at the White House. This will help her future political career. Meanwhile, Huck and Quinn bribe the bartender at the bar to report it was a bachelor party.
Even though Abby and Leo define their relationship as the separation of church and state (personal and business), she does let slip they’ve set up a war room in the White House to deal with the Cyrus and Michael crisis.
Flashback to Cyrus’ impromptu engagement to Janet, his first wife. She was helping him prep for a speech when he was running for comptroller and he just dropped to one knee on a whim. There’s lots of bouncing up and down and squealing, but since we know how this ends, this scene was not joyous. Just sad.
Abby needs a response from Fitz before she heads into the White House press briefing. He is impressed with Mellie’s political savvy play, and goes so far as to credit it to Lizzie, but Abby tells him it was Liv. Either way, his official response is: his views on gay marriage have remained unchanged.
Meanwhile, in the war room, Michael learns his parents are being invited and warns that they won’t come. Olivia says it’s important for the charade and suggests he calls them. He turns to Cyrus for help, but Cyrus isn’t interested in making him feel better.
Cyrus has won the election and is 20 minutes from getting married to Janet. He has to shoot down one of his groomsmen who wants to know if they’re still on for racquetball next week. Racquetball is code for sex. Cyrus no longer wants to play racquetball with him because married men don’t play racquetballs. I mean racquetball.
Remember how we’ve been wondering what happened to Sally after she loss the election? Well, she’s the host of a conservative talk show, which she uses to tell the world Cyrus’ upcoming wedding is a sham. She references the war room and offers up a $10K reward to anyone with more proof.
Lizzie is upset that Olivia Pope talked Mellie into this bad idea. She’s Mellie’s campaign manager, not Olivia. Mellie reminds Lizzie that she ain’t shit, she ain’t ever gonna be shit, and she needs to stay in her damn lane.
Church and State
Michael assures the team Sally won’t find anything, but the fact that she referenced the war room suggests she already has an inside person. Olivia figures it out. It’s Leo.
Abby confronts Leo and he doesn’t deny it. In fact, it’s Abby’s fault for talking to begin with. She would have done the same thing to him, which is true. Remember how Olivia got that Cytron card, y’all. While Leo is in the shower, Abby goes through his phone. What a rookie mistake, Leo.
In the Closet Cyrus
When Michael barges into Cyrus’ bedroom uninvited, and walks into his closet, this triggers a memory of Cyrus finding Janet in that same closet. She’s drunk and upset. She is lonely, she’s having an affair, and she wants a divorce. Cyrus begs her to stay. He wants to run for congress and needs her by his side. Nope. She’s had enough. As she leaves the closet, she suggests Cyrus do the same.
Michael was only in the closet to retrieve a few of his shirts placed there by accident. When he leaves, Cyrus sees James sitting on the bed.
Cyrus gonna fuck around and have another heart attack.
The Liberty Report Reports…
Michael has a side-piece, which he lied about, and now that side-piece is going on Sally’s show. The latter bit of info was discovered by Abby after going through Leo’s voicemails – which was a faster and easier approach than all of Huck’s hacking to get the same intel. The war room all agrees it’s time to shut this shit down. All except Olivia. She basically punks everyone in the room and reminds them she’s in charge.
Wedding Day Cyrus
Flashback to Cyrus’ wedding day to James when he had to promise James that marrying him wouldn’t jeopardize his career or his integrity. Cyrus swears he’d never do that to James. Again, super sad as fuck ’cause we all know how that turned out.
Olivia dreams of Cyrus’ wedding day to James, too, but she’s thinking about how Fitz came to her before the ceremony and gave her his grandmother’s ring, Sweet Baby. She’s already quit her job at the White House, and she doesn’t have to love him or come back to him, but he wants her to wear it. And just knowing that she’s wearing it will make him feel better… that they’re okay… he’ll know she’s out there.
This makes no fucking sense.
She accepts the ring, kisses him, and says she could never hate him.
She later visits Fitz in the Oval Office to get him to sign off on something which will help Cyrus, and provide them with a bargaining chip for Sally. As he signs, he notices she’s not wearing the ring.
Why is he so surprised? She threw the damn ring at him a few weeks ago!
The Real Seat of Power
Olivia offers Sally Secretary of State if she’ll back off. No deal. Sally has the ear of millions of Americans from her seat in front of the camera. She’ll affect more change as a talking head and she’s fine with that. The fact that FOX News is the most trusted source in news proves that idiots in front of a camera can control the millions of idiots watching.
Hard to Swallow
There’s one play left and that’s to throw Michael under the bus. Tell the press he cheated and present Cyrus as the jilted groom. Cyrus is so down with that plan cause he doesn’t give a shit about Michael or his feelings. A public dinner with Michael’s parents will only garner more sympathy for Cyrus.
Over dinner, Michael’s parents reveal themselves to be terrible people who are only there because Lizzie paid them. They sent Michael to straight camps when he was growing up and they do not approve of his “lifestyle” or Cyrus. Michael is forced to put food in his mouth and chew so the cameras outside won’t catch what’s really going on. It was heartbreaking.
Later that night, Michael asks to borrow some of Cyrus’ shampoo. When he drops his toiletries on the floor, Cyrus tries to help him, but Michael pushes him away.
Cyrus remembers the first time he manipulated James and his career, and it was right before their honeymoon. That didn’t take long at all.
However, this does inspire Cyrus not to build yet another marriage on lies and manipulation. Olivia can see it all over his face the next morning in the war room. They’re not going to throw Michael under the bus after all. She approaches Sally with a list of Michael’s clients and on that list is Sally’s dead husband – the one she murdered. It’s been handled.
All is Fair in Love
Before their wedding, Cyrus sits with Michael, who is completely miserable. It’s his wedding day and he has nothing. No one. Cyrus tells him he’s not alone. There’s a relief in marrying Michael because Michael sees him for who he is and Cyrus can’t disappoint him. He can’t break him. Michael is a good person, and Ella needs a good person in her life.
And then Twitter collectively asked, “Who the fuck is Ella?”
Umm who the fuck is Ella? #Scandal
— Nicholas Derrick Evans (@Cderick_) March 27, 2015
They get married as everyone looks on. Fitz spots Olivia wearing the Sweet Baby ring.
- Are there people who actually feel anything when Fitz and Liv stare at each other with that damn music playing? Do you still care if these two are together? What the fuck is wrong with her? Didn’t he call Amanda Tanner sweet baby, too? Didn’t he go to war to get her back? Didn’t he sign an offer of Secretary of State to Sally Langston because Liv asked him to? He’s a terrible person and a horrible president, and it makes me dislike Olivia when she can’t seem to leave his ass alone. She’s that girlfriend who complains to you when she’s gaining weight, but refuses to go to the gym or eat right. She’s that friend who goes back to the guy who cheats on her repeatedly.
- Props to the writers for giving Michael layers. And for remembering someone needs to raise Cyrus’ daughter. That dinner scene was hard to watch in a good way.
- Mellie, be careful. Right now, Lizzie is broken and just happy to have a job. She will snap to attention and take your insults. But don’t forget: she’s considered the party’s darling; she’s in line with their agendas. Keep treating her like shit, and if someone dangles an opportunity to screw you over while protecting the secret of her involvement with Andrew’s attempted coup, she’ll take it.
- So, next week Jake goes White Boy Crazy? *deep eye roll* That better be a fake out.
- Whoever is in charge of the wigs on this show needs to be fired. However, props to whoever hooked up Lizzie’s new campaign manager hair.