Previously on Scandal, ‘I’m Just a Bill’
Time to Make the Doughnuts
Quinn arrives at OPA to find Jake dead on the conference room table. So, he’s been there all damn night? See. This why it doesn’t pay to come in early. She pulls her gun and calls for him to answer her, but he doesn’t. She’s about to call someone on his phone when Huck enters and almost gets his head shot off. He notes that no major organs have been stabbed and Jake is still warm. One swift pound on Jake’s chest and Jake is breathing.
I give zero fucks whether this makes sense or not because Jake is alive. Hallelujah!
Olivia rushes in with David, who wants to call 911. It’s like David is new or something. Olivia has to explain that’s not smart because a digital trail will tip off Papa Pope that Jake is still alive. They all need to go underground. Now.
David takes over trying to plug up one of Jake’s many leaking wounds so Quinn can call Charlie. Of course, Charlie knows a guy so they all head to some warehouse where they wait for his doctor contact to arrive. Huck takes off to check on his wife and son.
The doctor arrives and recognizes Olivia. Instead of money, he wants her to help his KGB friend, Black Sable, a notorious killer. She agrees, right there in front of the Attorney General. While everyone else runs to get the doctor’s supplies from his car, the doctor and David Rosen (a.k.a Scared Man With Glasses) roll Jake over to get to work.
Being a Bitch is a Full-Time J.O.B…. For Sally
Mellie’s stumping in Virginia and fileds a question about how she can do two jobs (First Lady/Senator) with a tested/scripted answer. Still, Sally doesn’t miss a chance to twist it on her talk show, and cast doubts as to how ethical or legal it is to have the First Lady run for Senate.
The press isn’t being kind to Mellie. Being married to Fitz is a liability. Abby suggests they give the impression they live separate lives. Oh, so tell the truth. Also, there’s a little problem of no one bothering to check if her candidacy is legal. Abby calls David, who lies about where is he, and he tells her it is legal because no one ever thought a First Lady would have the desire or gall to run for office. Abby will route some calls to David, so he can assure the press that Mellie running for Senate isn’t illegal.
Olivia and Huck arrive at a very nice suburban home to meet Black Sable. She’s a kindly grandma named Mary Peterson. After she ushers her grandkids off to play, she explains she was recruited into the KGB as a young woman. She did so because they offered her food and a life. 27 years ago, it all stopped and she settled into being a true American. Until the night before when a dead drop note was placed on her windshield. If she doesn’t do the job, they’ll kill her.
Back at the warehouse, Jake is stable, but needs surgery. For that, he needs blood. Olivia sends Quinn and Charlie out for some while David postpones the grand jury hearing he’d scheduled for later that day.
Huck watches as Mary meets with her new handler and then follows the man when he leaves. Turns out, her new handler is butcher. Olivia looks over the info Mary was given – the deputy under the Secretary of Defense was a Russian spy and Mary needs to kill him.
You Had One Job, Russell Franklin Franklin Russell!
RFFR reports in to Papa Pope: Jake Ballard is dead. Except he’s not. Papa knows this because Olivia has not yet called to jump in his ass about it. FRRF says, “If he’s alive, he’s hanging on by a thread.”
“Then find him and cut the thread.”
Can we talk about the fact that RFFR is a shitty B613 agent? I’m pretty sure I could stab someone multiple times and hit at least one major organ. Hell, I’m fairly positive I know where the heart is. So, he had all that time to play Operation on Jake, and he didn’t get one fatal hit in? Shit. He could have stabbed him in the neck. This fucking show.
FRRF calls Liv for a booty call, which is really a way to track her location, but she blows him off too quickly for him to get a bead on it.
Bite, Bark, and Beef
Olivia confronts the butcher at his shop and asks what it will take for him to leave Mary alone. He’s not interested in money. He comes from a town in Russia where they leave traitors to freeze to death, as they should. He ain’t no snitch and he’s not a traitor to his cause. She should tell Mary that. Olivia takes this bad news back to her client, who insists she cannot go through with it. She cannot kill another person again. Olivia promises a way out.
While it’s not illegal for Mellie to run for office, polls show most people still think it’s inappropriate for her to do so. Abby thinks someone needs to go on Sally’s show to debate it and call Sally out for her outdated views. And it needs to be a man. When Cyrus realizes both Fitz and Abby are looking at him to do it, his “Are you stupid?” face is everything.
FRRF reports in to Papa Pope, again, telling him about his failure, again. Papa Pope shoots him in the arm. Maybe Olivia will pay attention to him now. I just want to point out that RFFR’s “I’m shot” face looks a lot like a “I really have to take a shit” face.
Get With the Program
Cyrus refuses to go on Sally’s show. Fitz yells at him, insisting he will. Cyrus doesn’t under why any of this is happening. Fitz’s answer is simple: I am supporting my wife. Forgive him for being confused, Fitz. This isn’t really something you’re known for.
Cyrus goes on Sally’s show as he was told. He does very well – first, making it clear that First Lady isn’t a job and calling motherhood a job is also insulting. When she puts him on the spot saying that he’s secretly jealous of Mellie and wanted to run himself, he pauses, but recovers quickly.
Not only are the numbers slipping for Mellie, but for Fitz as well. Lizzie comes up with a radical idea: leak to the press that the Grant marriage is failing. Mellie will pile up a ton of votes from conservatives, moderates, and maybe even a few progressives. Mellie ain’t down with that plan. She will not lie to the American people about their marriage… again.
Fitz calls Olivia for advice on Mellie’s campaign. After being indifferent for a bit, she advises him to use their marriage to their advantage, not run from it.
Olivia and Huck visit RFFR in the hospital. He says two guys attacked him. They assume it’s B613 and Huck gives RFFR a sedative so they can take him to the safehouse. Huck wants to go on the offensive against Rowan, but Olivia has a better idea.
They go back to the butcher shop and offer Mary’s handler Papa Pope’s name and burner phone number. If he can kill Command or turn him over to Putin, he’ll be a national hero. In exchange, he has to leave Mary alone.
Jake is partially sedated with a tube down his throat. The doctor instructs him to stay still and rest. When he leaves the room, Jake looks over and sees the other patient in the room: Russell Franklin Franklin Russell!
FRRF slits open one of Jake’s wounds and he begins to bleed out. The doctor gets Jake stable again and Olivia tells everyone they’ll be able to go home soon. She has given her father up to the KGB. RFFR hears all.
While Olivia sits with Jake, she apologizes to him for everything. She says he was right: they never should have left the island. When Jake awakens, he spies RFFR (who has been listening – again) and begins to struggle against his constraints. FRRF comforts Liv just as Huck runs in to announce he can’t find the butcher.
Always Two Steps Ahead
Olivia rushes to Mary’s house and finds her, and her grandchildren, dead. She runs out to her car and finds the butcher’s body in the trunk of her car. Papa Pope calls.
“What have I always told you, Olivia? Against me, you will never win.”
Not if they keep writing her so damn stupid.
Olivia informs everyone they’re done trying to bring down B613. Jake is in no position to testify, Papa Pope outchea killing everybody, it’s over. David doesn’t like it, but agrees. You know who else is done? The doctor. Olivia fucked around and got his friend and her grand babies killed.
And, again, RFFR hears all.
The spin Olivia suggested works. Mellie stumps and gives a cute speech about how she has the president’s ear and he has hers. While her numbers rise in Virginia, Fitz’s sink elsewhere. But he doesn’t care. Cyrus sure cares. He tells Abby everything they’ve worked for will be for nothing because Fitz allowed himself to be viewed as a whipped husband to the nation.
RFFR calls to report in to Papa Pope. This time: success! Olivia has shut everything down and even though Jake is still alive (much to his annoyance), Papa Pope instructs FRRF to leave him alone and move on to Foxtail.
Olivia straddles FRRF on her bed and tells him to close his eyes. Then she puts a gun to his forehead and demands to know what the hell Foxtail is.
Too bad those poor grandchildren and this show’s credibility had to die before they decided to write Olivia as having half a brain.