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Sleepy Hollow – S3E5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales

Previously on Sleepy Hollow, ‘The Sisters Mills’

Images: FOX

Images: FOX

If you missed the first hour of the Bones/Sleepy Hollow crossover event–don’t worry. You didn’t really miss anything. Ichabbie showed up at the Jeffersonian to help determine that a headless body was that of General Howe, Crane’s old enemy.

It’s no wonder that he immediately shows up at the beginning of the Sleepy Hollow hour. Pandora hijacks the shipment of Howe’s remains to Sleepy Hollow and awakens him with a Nordic pendant and a lot of worms. As his bones cover with zombie flesh, she commands him to raise his army and exact his vengeance on his old enemy.

Everyone is into the Halloween spirit at the Sleepy Hollow Bowl-a-rama, and Abbie looks amazing in her Beyonce costume. I hope she keeps that outfit in a closet at home for later. Zoe is there, too, dressed as Sexy Betsy Ross, as if we don’t already have enough Sexy Betsy Rosses to contend with, but the good times are cut short when Crane gets a message that the body of Howe was never delivered.

cemetery mist

That body, which is now up and running, is discovered in the Sleepy Hollow Giant Mausoleum by a few mischievous teens out having some Halloween laughs at the local cemetery. It’s a convenient, but unsurprising place for a zombie General to go to raise his army of zombie red-coats

The delivery driver crashed his van, and with her extensive FBI training Abbie can tell that he obviously swerved to avoid Pandora. They search Dem Woods and end up at the other Sleepy Hollow cemetery, while on the way Abbie gives Crane a little romantic advice about Sexy Betsy (the reboot, not the original). Inside the mausoleum they discover some fresh blood (sorry, mischievous teen #4) and also a horde of zombie soldiers in battle formation! Shots are fired from all sides, and even though they take a chunk out of Howe’s beetle-filled hand, they have to retreat. It’s a good thing they do, too, because now that it’s daytime the zombies can’t chase them and must sink into the ground instead of run out into the sunlight.

zombie shooting gallery

Pretending she hasn’t been running from vampire zombies all night, Abbie stops by Danny’s office to “check in”. She knows something’s up because he has closed the door to his own office, and he admits to his subordinate that he’s chasing down his next big FBI case: an importer/exporter.

Ichabod spends a little time puzzling over Howe’s zombie army and also reminiscing, ‘cause that’s what he does best. Washington knew Howe was evil and put a hit out on him right before the Battle of Manhatten; Ichabod was the chosen assassin, but in the end couldn’t pull the trigger in time on someone he used to respect. The jog down memory lane helped Crane, as it always does, and one of the details he recalled was a rune Howe had been unpacking. The two-sworded man on the run was the symbol of the Draugr, the original White Walkers, and luckily Washington left a rhyming couplet with a clue as to how to defeat them and their General.

Hot on the trail of Jenny’s groceries, Joe realizes he knows Atticus Nevins because he and Papa Corbin were war buddies?!? Minds are blown. What else about Papa Corbin don’t they know? What if we was really….evil?? The best way to find out is to ask the source, or at least the source’s old war buddy turned fencer of valuable historical stolen goods. Making a deal with Sophie, they agree to exchange the Shard for information about Corbin, but it has to come directly from Atticus.

Ichabbie needs to find the location of Howe’s tomb, so they send some dirt and debris from the zombie fight to their new Jeffersonian friends to do some forensicing. The short answer: The Capitol Building. It must be Crane’s first real field trip, but instead of taking the tour the group ends up in the basement. Secret walls and trick locks that can only be opened with Crane’s ring (or probably a flat-head screwdriver) put them into a room filled with Nordic Runes, just like the ones on the coffin! This room is also equipped with Greek Fire, a cross between napalm and wildfire that is the only thing that can contain and defeat any Draugr, including General Howe. Greek Fire under the Capitol means that Washington knew he was fighting supernatural forces at the Battle of Manhattan as explained in a tedious Betsy Ross flashback.

probably a trap

With all the zombie chasing, no one has thought a whole lot about Pandora, who is busy scaring kids and taking their Halloween candy. When Howe shows up for a stroll through downtown Sleepy Hollow, she gives him his orders to take the city at sundown. Everyone is super impressed with the zombie army costumes until they realize those aren’t just costumes and the army starts firing on the townspeople. Crane challenges Howe to a sword fight and gets him to chase him into the catacombs under Sleepy Hollow: the plan is to get all of the zombies down there and then use their Greek Fire Flamethrowers to do them in. It gets a little dicey when all of the zombies zip underground to go after Crane, but the whole team takes them out until they’re left facing just Howe. Unwilling to give Crane the satisfaction of ending him, Howe steps into the stream of Greek Fire and disintegrates.

Pandora has all of this on TiVo and has been re-watching it in her creepy puddle rather than participate. All of the fear she’s raised this season has been making her tree bloom, and she just needs one more flower to bloom before…something else happens.

Finally taking Abbie’s advice to let go of his ghosts, Crane calls up Sexy Betsy for a dinner date, which means she has exactly two episodes to either get killed off in a supernatural way or reveal her evil plan. Too bad Crane didn’t reciprocate any advice for Abbie–he could have walked her through how to handle her bosses Danny when he discovers that Jenny is going to be meeting up with Atticus Nevins, the top target of his big case.

Sleepy Hollow S3E5
  • 7/10
    Plot - 7/10
  • 6/10
    Dialogue - 6/10
  • 9/10
    Action - 9/10
  • 8.5/10
    Performances - 8.5/10
7.6/10

Summary

The second half of the Bones/Sleepy Hollow crossover brought Nordic-style zombies to the Halloween episode. While there was definitely more action than the first hour, and better effects than some previous episodes this season, there were still a few unnecessary flashback/Betsy Ross moments. Bones was a more successful addition than Booth, who has gotten a little salty in his old age, but the episode would have been just as successful without either of them. A fun episode–who doesn’t love a zombie army?–but the baby steps through Pandora’s storyline is starting to get tedious.

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User Review
4.5 (2 votes)

About Robyn Horton (94 Articles)
Robyn grew up a military brat whose parents let her indulge in her love of literature, mythology, movies, musicals, and Kings Quest (without telling her how nerdy they were). She is now a reformed graphic designer with a husband, two dogs, a Sweeney Todd themed bathroom, and a burning need to know how many books really can fit in one house.

6 Comments on Sleepy Hollow – S3E5 – Dead Men Tell No Tales

  1. FOR THE PODCAST

    I am not going to bash bones because this is the first and last episode I will ever watch. So I will stick with the positives:

    1. The shipping (I loved it in all of its inappropriate ways because we are not getting that in sleepy hollow).
    2. Our sleepy hollow peeps
    3. The bar scene with Abbie and Ichabod! Fondle in the forest! Loved it.
    4. The episode ending.

    Now on to our show Sleepy Hollow:
    Pandora was fucking awesome and that little black girl was so cute.

    1. Ichabod looks so damn good in the John Addams costume. But Zoe’s outfit looked like she got it from the 99 cent store. And she just had to dress up as Betsy. Look now, let me just say Abbie looked good in those shorts. Her Beyonce outfit was great.

    2. Ocean Waves “roommate?” He need to mind all of his entire business. Why does he think it is okay to bring up her living arrangement? Everything he is doing looks like he is jealous and that he is unprofessional. Don’t you question Abbie again or I will have to figure out a way to reach through the TV and snatch your waves off your head.

    3. KOSHER PICKLES IS THE SHIT! And I don’t know what it is, but Joe is looking mighty fine. I don’t know what it is.

    4. I appreciated that even though the Bones crew was there, Jenny and Joe still had their shine. And I am convinced that other woman is Abbie’s and Jenny’s sister and that she works for their dad. This has to be true.

    5. The sword fighting was hot and Abbie with a shotgun was too. Ichabod stay getting his ass almost murdered though.

    Please don’t cancel this show FOX!

  2. FOR THE PODCAST

    I will forever hate the showrunners for tricking us into watching Bones for this crossover event. There was no point! And them throwing a bone of the Bones team shipping Ichabod and Abbie was not enough for me to forgive them for this. Did I mention there was no point?

    The Good: Booth and Abbie talking about Corbin was cool, and the chemistry between them worked. Jenni and Joe’s investigation intersecting with the FBI and Abbie was a good play. Addressing the elephant in the room, which is Ichabod wanting to move on from Katrina and getting the encouragement to do so by Abbie was sweet.

    The Bad: C’mon sisters do I even need to say it? Bones. There was no point. Actually in watching this show, I would love for them to go ahead and cancel Bones, kill off Daniel, and have Booth be her field officer head in Sleepy Hollow. He has to stay in NY while Booth continues to work in DC. We never EVER see her in Sleepy Hollow. Like…never. The story for Sleepy Hollow really didn’t advance the plot much. I am truly confused as to why we even had to do this. It’s as if the showrunners for Sleepy Hollow are really not familiar with their audience or the show’s premise even. Someone else mentioned this in the group but an X-Files/Sleepy Hollow crossover would have made much more sense. In the past with crossover events you move one show to the same night and show them back to back. This was just thrown together and lazily so.

    Looking forward to seeing why the FBI is looking into Atticus and how Abbie works to keep the work she and Ichabod do under the radar since it’s obvious the two worlds are about to collide in a big way.

  3. FOR THE PODCAST

    I’ll be honest, I came in the last 5 minutes of bones, it looked completely boring and I came back to it when sleepy hollow started. Full disclosure I watched bones until the 5th season. This episode of sleepy hollow in spite of that was amazing. From abbys cleavage in her Beyoncé outfit to Ichabod flirting with that betsy ross 2.0 chick. She is so suspect y’all, I am going to be annoyed if we find out shes a relative of Betsy ross or betsy ross herself. Either way bleh. I am not here for her or the ridiculous betsy ross flashback scenes that seem more at home on the scy fy network than fox.

    I can’t wait for an episode where ichabbod does not know a location or the person they are investigating. And I will say half way through the show I had to make a mental note to turn off my brain as some inconsistencies came up, im not sure if that’s good or bad. But outside of that I really enjoyed the episode. They are continually doing good work with the monsters and graphics, it reminds me a bit of the buffy a bit. I really like it and im sure it saves them money too.

    Pandoras scally face looked good, I thought SH was about to move into the wire territory with the walking zombies but luckily icabbie came by in their police proof van. Also that last scene with lance swol confronting abbie about her sisters shenanigans, was great. When did this man start working out I never thought he looked that good before. Other than that I’m loving the show warts and all. Thanks again, you ladies are the bomb!

  4. FOR THE PODCAST

    Eeeeew! That button of maggots was gross. However, it was really cool as it almost reversed the decomp of the body. Fun effects.

    Halloween bowling. Awesome! My favorite line of the night was by Crane when he was bowling: “All up in your faces!!!”

    I want to see Crane’s “instant-gram” account. You need an account to get tagged, right? The show should do this. As an aside, not sure if other shows do this but Grey’s Anatomy set up twitter accounts for all its characters. They don’t tweet often but when they do it’s during an episode. It’s hilarious. Now that they mentioned it, Sleepy Hollow should totally set-up Crane’s IG account.

    I thought we were going to get a Besty-free episode but damn she shows her face at the 42 minute mark. Oh so close.

    Pandora stealing a child’s Halloween candy? She’s sunk to an all-time low. I hope she gets gains 50 pounds eating all those delectable Reese peanut butter cups. I’m looking forward to seeing how this Pandora arc will end but as Robyn mentioned in her recap, this is taking too damn long. Question for the group, do you think Pandora will be the foil for the entire season?

    Finally, as I mentioned before, I live in Westchester County and 15 miles away from the town of Sleepy Hollow. Robyn, you had mentioned that you were interested in how the show tries to make the Atlanta and its suburbs pass as Sleepy Hollow, NY. So I will try when I can, to point out things I noticed in the episode.

    So… I call this section of my feedback the Sleepy Hollow Local Authenticity report:

    Loved that the truck driver’s GPS said Route 9. That’s one of the major roads in Sleepy Hollow. The GPS screen was on our screen for 3 seconds so I appreciated that big attention to detail for a very, very short scene.

    That road he was driving on and trees looked legit.

    The one thing that looked weird for me was where Jenny and Joe were gallivanting around. If that was supposed to be in Sleepy Hollow, I call bullshit. Sometimes the show makes parts of Sleepy Hollow too “hic.” Sleepy Hollow is less than 30 miles from midtown Manhattan so it’s hardly upstate NY, especially when Albany, Syracuse and Buffalo are 150, 250 and 400 miles from midtown Manhattan, respectively. It’s really more suburban and doesn’t (I don’t think) have rural parts like look like that.

    Sending vibes to everyone to watch this show and vibes to Fox to not be stupid and cancel this show. Looking forward to hearing the podcast and your thoughts!!!

  5. FOR THE PODCAST
    I’m basing this review on watching last 1/2 hr of bones & all of SH.
    IcHabod/bones-liked their chemistry though she has a droll tone which initially bugged me. Ditto chemistry w/Abbie & man whose name I can’t remember 😄
    Bowling alley-loved this opening scene Abbie was rockin her Beyoncé look & icHabod looked dashing emulating his “BFF “John Adams. What’s up with the elaborate bow every time he sees zoey? Yet he was so sweet & charming when he asked her out to dinner
    As for the episode, it was good but it felt lacking-I wanted more-
    Liked Howe & zombie army
    Pandora’s masks were cool & very scary-she took the child’s trick or treat bag
    Bones crew cameo was good-wouldn’t mind seeing them back in SH.
    Have to re-watch 1st 1/2 hr of bones.
    Looking forward to the podcast.

  6. FOR THE PODCAST

    First of all, there’s no way that black child in the opening would have been Howe’s victim! Either he would have booked as soon as he saw his zombie face or he wouldn’t have been there in the first place!

    Second, why is Betsy even here? She is so unnecessary. He could just have a flashback that has nothing to do with her!! Ugh!! And of course Ichabod didn’t recognize Zoe in her Betsy costume. That was traditional Betsy as opposed to the skanky Betsy we get in the flashbacks.

    I do still watch Bones and I enjoyed seeing Abbie interrogate the suspect. She doesn’t do that nearly enough on her own show. The ending bar scene was great! But my all time fav thing about that episode was all the Ichabbie shipping! Thank you Bones staff for that! I appreciated it.

    Pandora is still creepy. And her new fangled zombies are creepy. But why do they insist on shooting at these supernatural creatures?? At least get special ammo or something!

    I’m glad Joe & Jenny’d side story is about to collide with Abbie’s job. That should be interesting.

    Looking forward to the podcast!

    Btw, hoe adorable were their costumes!!!

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