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The 7 Stages of Bingeing on Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Jesse and Walt table

You may not be watching Breaking Bad, but you damn sure can’t escape it. The week before last, as millions prepared for the final season’s return, social media was blown up like a poorly constructed meth lab with posts about Heisenberg, Walt Whitman, and “Better call Saul!” My sister had not seen a single episode, but with approximately 3,402 daily posts about the show appearing in her Facebook news feed (3,382 from me alone), she decided to queue up Breaking Bad on Netflix instant viewing and watch all 4.5 seasons currently available.

Jealous that she was about to experience the awesomeness for the first time, uninterrupted by year-long hiatuses, I asked her to text me and keep me updated on her journey. In one week, she has watched up to season 5, episode 4.


1. “Girl, Breaking Bad is UNCOMFORTABLE. I’m pausing like a motherfucker.”

The tension is so great, you have to pause some scenes to catch your breath. Can this mild-mannered chemistry teacher pull it off?

Stressed gif


2. “I HATE Walt! Seriously. Those brothers could axe his ass right now and I’d grab the popcorn.”

You’ve gotten a taste of Heisenberg. You may still be rooting for Walt deep down inside, but it’s hard to look past the misfortune he’s brought down on his family.

f-u-all


3. “I don’t care too much for Jesse. So now I like no one. I watch out of curiosity to see how they will develop the story.”

Jesse has relapsed and though you understand why, you really just want him to get his shit together and break free of Walt.

disappointed

“Since the beginning, my two favorite characters continue to be Saul and Mike. I care for Jesse, but he disappoints me often.”

sad-fro-no


4. “Everyone is pissing me off.”

Self explanatory.

group-slap-1


5. “They’re overdoing it. How much purple is this bitch gonna wear?”

You finally notice Marie’s purple addiction.

kanye-wtf


6. “OMG, Nina. I hate Walt so passionately. He is making this hard to watch.”

By now you know about Jane, Brock, and Mike.

newsroom-throwing-blackberry

Then Hank finds the book.

OMG-WHAT


7. “Everything Walt touches turns to shit. What’s taking this cancer so damn long?”

You can’t possibly still want Walt to get away with this, right? Right?

oh-heeeell-to-the-no

About Nina Perez (1391 Articles)
Nina Perez is the founder of Project Fandom. She is also the author of a YA series of books, "The Twin Prophecies," and a collection of essays titled, "Blog It Out, B*tch." Her latest books, a contemporary romance 6-book series titled Sharing Space, are now available on Amazon.com for Kindle download. She has a degree in journalism, works in social media, lives in Portland, Oregon, and loves Idris Elba. When not watching massive amounts of British television or writing, she is sketching plans to build her very own TARDIS. She watches more television than anyone you know and she's totally fine with that.

3 Comments on The 7 Stages of Bingeing on Breaking Bad

  1. One person wants to know just what is so bad about always wearing purple?

    http://perfectlycursedlife.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/side-eye-prince-2.gif

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