Previously on The Slap, Rosie
Here we are. The last episode. Poor Gary doesn’t get an episode of his own, but we had to look at Connie for an hour. Maybe we could take that to trial next.
Richie is out in the city taking pictures, even though the last time he took pictures it caused trouble for himself. Hobbies are no good, Richie!! Watch more TV. Seriously though, that boy’s a good photographer.
Hugo breaks a glass in the kitchen because his mother won’t get up out of bed to feed him and apparently giving food to your child is not part of a father’s responsibility. This is why you didn’t get your own episode, Gary! Help raise your child. Rosie is too depressed to get out of bed and Gary has to keep Hugo from messing with the broken glass while fielding a phone call from his lawyer, who wants to know why they waited until now to bring up the photographs Richie has. He thinks the pictures are important to the trial, but still doesn’t want Richie dragged down with it and he tells the lawyer that. She’s like, “It’s okay, cause this trial isn’t about you.” Um, actually it is. Stupid lawyer. Was she not in court last week when Rosie was reduced to tears on the stand?
Connie has the nerve to show up where Richie is displaying his photography and act like nothing happened. She reminds me of an ex boyfriend who tried coming around like nothing happened months after I dumped his ass. I should set them up. Girl, go sleep with a teacher or something. Nobody’s here for you anymore.
When Richie gets home from school, a cop is waiting with a warrant to take the pictures. Since he deleted the pictures, they want to take his laptop and the thumb drive the pictures were on. Richie hands them over without a fight. He knows they won’t be there anymore. But they must have been, because in the next scene, Harry’s lawyer hands him an envelope with the pictures in it. He looks stunned and he’s like, “Do these pictures of me slapping that kid prove I slapped that kid?’”
The lawyer says he can get them thrown out because the cop who took the laptop had the bad judgment to stop for a beer on his way to taking the laptop back to the station house. It was left sitting in the car so they can claim it could have been tampered with. That doesn’t even make logical sense, but it could get the pictures thrown out. That’s the American justice system for ya. They also plan to make Richie not testify. They dug up some dirt on him.
Before he moved to town with his mom, he had changed his last name because him and an ex-boyfriend (told ya he wasn’t into what Connie was offering) and been cyber bullied and it included pictures of them posted online in what I would assume would be considered smut. Why are people taking pictures of themselves getting nasty and then being surprised when it hits the internet? Turn your camera off! Anyway, his boyfriend then committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. Richie also attempted to kill himself. Oh. That’s heavy. Seven of the bullies were expelled and one is in prison. This is below the belt. I can see tearing Rosie up because she started this, but not Richie. This has nothing to do with anything. Even Harry feels bad. He tells the lawyer he cannot put Richie on the stand. But that’s the lawyer’s plan. The prosecution will hear the story, not want Richie to testify, and with the pictures thrown out, there will be nothing left. He’s a snake, this guy. If you’ve got wife-beating, asshole Harry rethinking life choices, then you know you’re something awful.
Of course, Richie’s story leaks quickly and soon enough the entire world knows about it. Classmates find out and immediately prove why I hate teenagers.
A notice to appear in court is delivered to him in class. He’s so upset he starts showing everybody the scars on his arms from his attempted suicide saying, “That’s what you want to see, right?” This poor kid. I wanna be his friend. But Connie’s gotta go first. Richie goes home and his mom says they’ll petition so he doesn’t have to testify, and then they’ll move again. Richie says it’s fine, he’ll testify. He says he’s going to take pictures, but instead goes to get a prescription refilled that is not yet due to be refilled.
Because it matters, we get to see Anouk getting an ultrasound done by Elvin from The Cosby Show. His voice hasn’t aged a day. Rosie’s there and everybody’s all happy to be around her even though she started all this nonsense with everybody and especially poor little Richie. Poor Richie, who drops off framed photos for Hector and Gary. If you’ve put two and two together after him getting that prescription filled, he’s essentially saying his goodbyes. He mixes the pills with alcohol and is only saved by Gary deciphering the cryptic note he left on the back of the framed photo and finding him. He’s barely in time to call 911. He confesses to Richie that he’s the one who told the lawyers Richie had pictures. Though, technically Connie told Gary about the pictures in the first place, so really she’s the one to blame. Gary throws Richie over his shoulder and runs towards the ambulance.
Richie does testify. He says exactly what happened the day of the barbecue. Hugo swung a bat. Harry took the bat and shook him. Hugo kicked Harry. Harry slapped Hugo. When asked why he deleted the photos, he admits it’s because there were pictures of Hector and Connie being inappropriate and he didn’t want them seen by other people. He basically didn’t want these pictures of people he loved because they were all being slightly inappropriate and he remembers the time when pictures of him and his ex were made public and what pain that caused.
The judge finds Harry guilty and sentences him to time served during his arraignment. Which, basically means he’s not going to jail. She doesn’t think sending him to jail will make him any more repentant than he is now. She also chews out Gary and Rosie and warns them to expect a visit from child protective services and that if something like this ever happens again, they’ll be held responsible. Then she tells everyone to get out of her court room because she has actual important cases to deal with. I love that judge.
As all the shows are doing now, we flash forward probably about 6-9 months. Richie and Connie say goodbye in a train station. He tells her not to be stupid. In other words, don’t try to fuck any more married men. He’s going to art school, where he already has developed street cred from the trial. The rest of the families have gathered with Anouk and her baby boy. Surprise, surprise. Her young lover boy did not stick around to help with the baby he insisted he was so excited to have. Rosie, Gary, and Hugo show up, invited by Anouk. Everyone is shocked and Rosie wants to leave, but Hector and Aisha tell them to just be cool and to come see the baby. Anouk lets Hugo hold the baby. He’s a little nervous, but she tells him it’s okay, the baby won’t break. Which was kind of a nice way of saying, “Your parents are stupid for thinking one slap destroyed you.” He plays “got your nose” with the baby and for some reason it makes me cry. Why is somebody always cutting onions when I watch this show?