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The Strain – S2E13 – Night Train

Previously on The Strain, ‘Fallen Light’

Home Sweet Home

Eichorst checks on the process of one of the animal processing plants Palmer paid for. The enclosures and hooks are all in place and the incinerator should be ready by next week. It warmed his Nazi heart. When asked what kind of animals would be processed there, Eichorst replies, “Sheep.”

I feel like he’s talking about us, silly enough to be back for season three. Cause my ass will be back for season three.

It’s Not So Hard to Say Goodbye

Eph, Nora, and New Zach are preparing to leave and they want to get all mushy about it, but Abraham is just trying to enjoy his Fruit Loops. Fet walks in on the farewells and Nora promises they’ll find them when they get back.

Images: FX

Images: FX

CoCo On Board

CoCo seems to have adjusted to this whole I’m Only Alive ‘Cause Vampire Sperm life. She gasses up Palmer’s head that he don’t need to take the Master’s shit.

Girl, sit down.

Fet So Ride or Die

On the way to the auction, Fet is like, “How much gold we got?” Abraham don’t know and don’t care. If they win the book, or take the book, or die trying, makes no difference to him. Fet would rather go with option 1 or 2.

Penn Station

Eph, Nora, and New Zach arrive at Penn Station to find they’re on the last train out of NYC as the National Guard has taken over the trains for who the fuck knows what purpose. Eph tries to sweet talk Nora on the platform, but she’s still shitty with him for being a terrible person. They do hold hands, and who should be spying on them from the tunnels but Kelly in that gotdamn turtleneck.

On the train, our trio sits with Fonescu, who is clutching his carry-on like it contains $750,000.

I can’t believe Creem paid him for that book. 

Red vs. White

Quinlan meets his Riker’s Island recruits and one guy – clearly not paying attention to what happened to the last fool who tried this – decides he ain’t taking no orders from Quinlan. Quinlan introduces the front side of his head to the back side of his body.

Then he gives them a rousing speech about how their skin color doesn’t matter, nor does where they come from. All that matters is that they help him take out his raggedy-ass daddy.

Shade Auction

I’m going to ignore that auctioning this book off makes no goddamn sense because I am all for an Eichorst/Abraham shade battle, and that’s exactly what we get when the two of them show up at Creem’s.

“Does it hurt at all to be bound by loyalty to one so obviously unimpressed by you?,” Abraham asks of Eichorst after pointing out Bolivar was chosen.

Sooooo goood.

The Strain S2E13 - Fet, Abarham, and Eichorst

The bidding starts, but the numbers get a little too high for Creem so he proposes the winner pays one dollar more than the person with the lowest limit. Eichorst wins because Palmer has more money in his Swiss account than Quinlan.

However, before Creem can present Eichorst with the book, Palmer removes Eichorst’s access to the funds, so it goes to Abraham. Eichorst tries to take it anyway, but he’s outnumbered and outgunned.

The Strain S2E13 - Creem and Crew

Eichorst warns Abraham (A23O385) to relish this victory because it won’t last long.

Street Fight

On the ride home, AT NIGHT, Abraham admits to Fet he has no intention of giving the book to the Ancients. That’s cool cause Eichorst had no intention of letting their happy asses have the book. The bread truck is broadsided and strigoi, led by Eichorst, attack. Fet and Abraham are trapped in the back of the truck as Eichorst instructs his minions to bring him the book and the professor.

The Strain S2E13 - Truck Attack

Quinlan and crew arrive – including Angel in his Luchador mask, for reasons – in Escalades and start shooting at the strigoi. Eichorst approaches the bread truck, but he’s stopped by Quinlan, who asks if the Master can see him. Eichorst turns on his Master Vision and Quinlan tells him he was wise, but cowardly, in not showing up.

The Master don’t show up for SHIT, Quinlan.

Eichorst runs, Quinlan follows, but Eichorst gets away. Gus enters the truck looking for Abraham, but finds a bomb instead.

The Best Scene Ever in the History of the Entire Series

Eichorst shows up at Palmer’s, pissed that Palmer embarrassed him and cost the Master the Lumen. Palmer and CoCo talk so much shit. They demand respect in exchange for their assistance. Let’s ask the Master what he thinks of that, shall we? Good thing he’s here.

Palmer tells the Master, TO HIS FACE, that they are equals and the Master assures him the terms of their agreement has not changed. And then he kills CoCo and it is GLORIOUS and hilarious.

Night Train

Once the train is underway, Eph decides to hit up the bar before they run out. While he’s gone, the train encounters strigoi on the track, and by encounters I mean it plows into.

Why is the Master wasting perfectly good minions for these three?

Chaos ensues and Nora and Zach leave the train. She says Eph will find, but Kelly finds them first. Nora has had just about enough of Kelly’s shit and starts kicking her ass with the sword. She tells Zach to run, but he pauses to watch this ass whupping commence and yells for Nora to stop before she can make the death blow. That distraction costs Nora her life as Kelly wraps her stinger around Nora’s wrist.

The Strain S2E13- Nora and Kelly

Zach yells for Kelly to stop (make up your mind, kid!) and pulls a silver knife. He doesn’t kill her though. He hugs her and cries because New Zach is THE WORST. The Master summons and the two of them leave Nora to die on the tracks. (Podcast note: The cough, Nina. Don’t forget to mention the cough.)

She doesn’t die alone, though. After fighting a few of the Feelers on the train and on the tracks, he finds Nora and she’s infected. They say their goodbyes and then she touches the third rail with her sword and has the most beautiful electrocution death in the history of television. It was like a Pantene commercial.


Game-score-8Fet and Abraham think they’re about to get on their boat with the Lumen, but Gus has other plans. At gunpoint, he demands the book. Abraham been ready to die for that damn book so he’s not impressed. Quinlan arrives with Angel and the group finally realizes they’re ON THE SAME DAMN SIDE and decide to work together.

While they’re sailing off, Eph wanders the New York City streets looking a hot-ass mess, and Palmer has cut out CoCo’s heart. As you do.

About Nina Perez (1391 Articles)
Nina Perez is the founder of Project Fandom. She is also the author of a YA series of books, "The Twin Prophecies," and a collection of essays titled, "Blog It Out, B*tch." Her latest books, a contemporary romance 6-book series titled Sharing Space, are now available on for Kindle download. She has a degree in journalism, works in social media, lives in Portland, Oregon, and loves Idris Elba. When not watching massive amounts of British television or writing, she is sketching plans to build her very own TARDIS. She watches more television than anyone you know and she's totally fine with that.

12 Comments on The Strain – S2E13 – Night Train

  1. I can’t believe you gave this episode an 8/10 while FTWD got 7/10. I definitely liked the FTWD finale better.

    The good:
    1) team badass has finally formed! Been waiting for Fet, Gus, Abe & Quinlan to join forces all freakin season! Oh, and Angel too who has miraculously not gotten killed yet. I am looking forward to seeing them next season.

    2) Coco is dead! Finally! See what happens to gold diggers! Your ass gets drained by Master Bolivar and your old ass lover cuts out your heart! But seriously, all season Eichorst was warning Palmer to slow his roll. But of course once he got some, he really lost his damn mind!

    3) the auction scene was everything!! No one throws shade like Eichorst. But Abe can get some good ones in too.

    4) Nora was whupping Kelly’s ass! Which leads into the bad

    The bad: why the fuck is New Zach still alive? Why? And why is he so stupid!!! Why didn’t she drain that kid when she finally had him? Why? Cause now he’ll still be alive or did Master Bolivar want the pleasure of draining that brat? Will they please just kill him or find a better child actor! Anyway, stupid ass New Zach got Nora killed. Unlike Leonard, I liked Nora. She was definitely less annoying this season. Oh well, just send Eph to the bar and hopefully we’ll never see him again.

    That’s it. I’ll watch next season for Gus and them and of course all the shade throwing from Eichorst. But I could care less about Eph and his dumbass family. And can they find a way to make Master Bolivar scarier? Thanks for podcasting this hot ass mess of a season. Can’t wait to hear y’all discuss it.


    I’m gonna try and act like you didn’t think us losing coco and them hard nips was hilarious so here I go!! But first let’s have a moment of silence for coco please…!

    I really enjoyed the show although I might’ve screamed FUCK YOU several times (allegedly)!

    I smooth forgot Michael Vick and her pups were even still a thing… Then this fucking awful ass child makes me lose another likeable character with his stupidity!!?! What the fuck have you been watching all season kid?!?! I was praying he his occasional asthma kicked in and killed him right there!! I hope the master tortures this kid!!

    Lastly is Walder!! He is the epitome of ride or die and I’m glad he and Q are now together!!! I can’t wait to see them dickwrecking all the vamps next season!!

    That’s all I got can’t wait to hear the podcast, oh and I thought they killed Gus but they gave me the okie doke I’m shitty we keep him but I lose coco but that’s none of my business 🍹🐸

  3. This finale really has me questioning if I’ll come back for season 3 of this show. It’s 50/50 right now. If I do watch next season, I’ll do so with very low expectations. These dickweeds won’t fool me into thinking they’re going to bring good TV to me each week again until further notice. There are some cool or interesting things on the show, but they get sidetracked by bullshit no one cares about way too much. Maybe people like Nora and Coco dying will help streamline things a bit. Anyway, here are a few highlights.
    1. Nora – Bye, bitch!!!!!!!!! I was so glad this whining ass, smart, dumb ass woman is finally gone. She and her story lines got nicely burned to a crisp when she touched the third rail in that subway. The only bad thing was they went with the slow motion steelo. I was like damn, this heffa even died dramatically. Hurry the fuck up and die, Nora. Shit!
    2. Palmer/Coco – Fuck both of these people. I wish Palmer died with his young tenderoni. And speaking of Ms. Thang, who the fuck did she think she was in that scene with Eichorst? This lady was sassy as shit. Talking pure shit to Eichorst. I was in my house cursing when that happened. The nerve of her. The fact she made me root for a Nazi Vampire in that scene pissed me off. I laughed my ass off when Master bolivar came in and got that neck. The only thing better than that was Eichorst grabbing Palmer and making him watch. His facial expression and the way he held him in position while doing that was like Ceilie in Color Purple when she finally bucked up at Mister. He was like “Until you do right by Master Bolivar, everything around you will crumble!!!!” It was great seeing that. I thought it was funny his punk ass took her heart like Abe did with his wife too.
    3. New Zach – Fuck this kid. I KNEW his dumb ass would do what he did. I fuckin knew it and it still pissed me off. Fuck that little bastard eternally.
    4. Gus/Angel/Quinlan – What the fuck? Gus’s storyline was one of the ones I was most excited about this year, but they fucked it all up by killing Vaun and the SWAT Team, then having him chasing some Curry Coochie. We needed more of him and Quinlan linking up and him getting more training, then going on missions. The Angel shit was stupid from the jump. The stupidest thing of all was him wearing that Luchadore mask in the fight. What the fuck was the point of that? He looked like he was headed to an S&M party with that tight ass outfit and mask on. Quinlan needs a better team around him thank this.
    5. Fet – This dude is lame now. I don’t like him or his 27 different voices and accents.


    This one will be short because I am fed up with this show. I guess I shouldn’t have expected a whole lot from this season finale. Q didn’t have to give that speech. All he had to do is say, “did you see what I did to your homie? Yes? Okay then, if you don’t fucking fight, Ill do the same to all of you” That would have worked just as well. Did Gus fucking DIE? If so, Fuck this show because they didn’t use him at all.

    Palmer’s Coco Butter is no more. Ha! This stupid ass auction. The best part was the burn Abe gave Eichorst and vise versa. It was so fucking good but Fet whispery ass voice came in with his weak ass lines. Who knew that man of a million voices couldn’t actually deliver a good burn.

    All lies. Fuck you FX. You made me think that that shitty kid was actually leaving the show. You got Nora fucked up in the weakest way. It wasn’t even badass. And did she just pass out and die? What happened there because I was confused. I just really hate this show right now because Zach is chemically imbalanced. He said “let me look at you” the fucking way Belle told beast to step into the light. This is some bullshit. Im thinking that he would at least stab her. I know there is no way for me to watch this show without having you all podcast it. If you all stop, I am dropping this show because this shit pisses me off.

  5. So I binged watched season 1 in order to watch season 2, and this season other than a couple of jumps scares (pineapple) it left absolutely nothing to be desired. Eichorst ran away everytime shit got real, new Zach is just a completely useless character and for Norah to just die like that make no fucking sense. She was trying to get rid of him all season!

    Don’t even get me started on fet and Dutchs stupid ass relationship, and then coco and Palmer, fuck that bullshit. Eph is an incompetent scientist and human and it sucks but other than Abe and Fet everyone else could die and I would be fine. I’m so happy I had this podcast to keep going. But I will definitely not be watching season 3, which sucks cause this show has such a good concept but I have no idea what happened this season.

    I’m so glad new zach went with kelly, I kept yelling get, get new zach at my tv screen. I know somewhere in the world Old Zach is like thank god my agent got me off that show. Overall even with the addition of Quinlan nothing happened. They just all looked cool and so many bad decisions made by Gus but at least we got him shirtless once.

    And last but not least thanks Nina, Sarah and John. I loved all the voices you guys made this season and the banter and fun you have with such a terrible show. And that’s it! Thanks guys!

  6. Quickly: Pobrecita Nora- when the time came I didn’t want you to leave. It should’ve been Eph. Also I feel like Nora was working her way to Fet. We could have had it all.

    Palmer’s Coco Butter was feeling herself in the little dress and got herself ate up. I wanna see Palmer try and jump bad again.

    New Zack can go f himself. Nora should have cut Kelly’s head off and been like “Go with ya mama now!”

    It was a strong end to a horrible season. And I had a hearty laugh when Abraham wouldn’t smile for that photo you know we’re gonna see a hundred times next season.

  7. First of all, who was this prison bae fool trying to take out Quinlan? Idiot. You got what u had coming, son.

    FYI: The last train out of anywhere is NEVER a good sign. #youaintgonnamakeit

    Meanwhile, that was the most polite and thuggiest auction in TV history. Sotheby’s ain’t got nothing on them. Meanwhile, Palmer & CocoLoco said “Not Today, Satan!” and jacked up Eichorst’s line of credit. The expression on his face was priceless..

    Speaking of Coco, she tried to pull that HBIC move, but the Master don’t like no sass talking from them females! Too bad. She had really put her ‘heart’ into it. (haha)

    Guillermo should have just combined the pilot episode with the season 1 & 2 finales and just made The Strain a mini-series, and then called it a damn day.

  8. The strain would have had to buy me a new TV because I almost threw my drink at the it when Nora got stung for Dumb ass new Zack. HOW SWAY? We saw in a previous episode that Zack understood that his mom was dead so why the fuck are the writers acting like that character development never happened huh, WHY? I want to personally bitch slap the writer that thought it was OK to make me think Bae died in that explosion. HAHAHAHAHA, good for Coco’s irrelevant ass. I am so glad Palmer now knows he ain’t shit, he never was shit and ain’t never gonna be shit. I thought vampire’s couldn’t cross large bodies of water, DAMMIT WRITERS. R.I.P Nora, She deserved such better then 2 die because of bitch ass Ephs shitty son. That’s my feedback for today, can’t wait to hear your podcast 🙂

  9. Ooooh these motherfuckers right here…

    Abe- I’m glad you spent the whole season looking for some bathroom material, and finally get to sit down for some Reading Rainbow QT. I DID laugh when you didn’t smile for the camera, you old dog, you. If I were next to new Zach in a picture, I wouldn’t smile either. Fuck you, new Zach.

    Nora- You were nice to look at, but a bit empty as a supporting character. I’m not sad to see you go, just at the pathetic WAY you went out. You deserved better, but yeah, fuck you, new Zach.

    Fet/Dutch- I want to like you. But right when you had your “cool friend of your dad” moment and wished new Zach goodbye, I knew you were a lost cause. You should’ve just said “Fuck you, new Zach.”

    Eph- You are a useless drunk. When you were a funny, you were useFUL. But no more. In other news, your son is a stupid piece of shit. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Also, fuck you, new Apple.

    Gus/Angel- Thanks for getting the Guptas out of town with all haste. You were a really deep and many layered character this year, and the addition of Angel only added to the mystique of it all. I’m totally lying, and vete a la mierda, nueva Zach.

    Palmer/Coco- If I could do a great impresssion of Nelson from The Simpsons, I’d say “HA-HA!”. That’s what you get for dealing with monsters, you dumbfucks.

    Eichorst- You were the best part of the show all season. Thanks for that. By the way, here are some new Adidas shoes. You can wear them when you run away from whoever shoots at you next. Adversely, you can stick one up new Zach’s ass when he stands before yourself and the Master, because fuck him.

    Quinlan- I’m still mad at you for vandalizing that innocent fence. Other than that, you’ve been cool. Kill some bad vampires, will ya? You don’t give no shits about new Zach, I’m sure, so fuck him. We’re cool.

    Kelly/Master- If either of you kills that little fucker, I promise to start rooting for the vampires. If he only shows up as much NEXT season as you did THIS season, Master, then that’d be like 3 times too many.

    Dutch/Faraldo- Nobody cares.

    I was seriously considering dropping this show, but a night of cooling off has left me a little softer on my stance. I’ll give it 3 episodes next season. If there is no improvement, I’m out.

    Thanks for an awesome season from some people who actually give a damn about the product they put out though. I will continue on with you guys for the near and far forseeable future.

    Fuck new Zach.

  10. Id rather have the Master “process” me than eichorst ass. He too damn happy about that plant. On a financial note, i would not want Marlo’s crew knowing my balance. Just bc I got 323 million don’t mean I want to spend all of it! Did they have silver bullets or something ? Why didn’t eichorst just kill them all with his stinger? I liked the way fet fixed the truck. But they just so happened to get attacked above a manhole. I was glad Gus didn’t die. I was going to be very upset. I’m not sorry about cocos ass. Palmer acting like he got the upper hand and trying to play the master and got played. I’m surprised they didn’t kill Rudy. Marlo has gone soft. Why didnt Zack just go ahead and run as opposed to waiting? And now we back to Nora being a bad shot. And hear she go listening to Zack no good add getting herself sucked dry. And here Zack go cuddling with his monster momma. Ugh! Let the damn master have Him. Guess Devin and Leonard got their wish. She’s gone. I wonder where Dutch ass at. Probably listening to some old Mary j bilge curled up in the fetal position. Is Palmer going to use coco heart worms to turn himself? And that ending would’ve worked on other shows but that type of narration with a dooms day feeling just seemed so out of place to me. Terrible finale. I don’t know about tuning in for season 3 unless y’all podcasting

  11. Pantene AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is perfect! I swear ta god they also used some classic 80’s Vaseline and starlight lens filters on her *Glamour* electrocution 🙂

  12. I think the only way I can handle this show is by viewing it as ‘campy’ and just having fun with it — which is easy to do with the PF podcasts as required listening 👍👍

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