What you may have missed last season: Bonnie died, but it’s okay because Jeremy’s alive again and he can conveniently talk to ghosts! Katherine’s human again! Silas is Stefan’s doppelganger!! Silas locked him in a metal box and threw him off a waterfall!
Elena is emailing Bonnie, giving her (and us) a handy recap of how the gang spent their summers. Elena didn’t get much done, unless of course you count a whole lot of bangin’ Damon (which I surely do). Caroline has been getting everything ready for college, while Tyler has been off gallivanting with his fellow wolfies. Matt is still in Europe where he has been having a whole lot of fun drinking champagne and having threesomes with Rebekah. Elena thinks that Bonnie is off on holiday with her mum, when actually she’s dead and communicating to her via her ghost whisperer of a brother. Oh, and Katherine is REALLY not loving being back to human. Stefan is AWOL.
Damon and Elena have some fun bath times, but her mind is on the other brother, who is at that moment kinda distressed about the whole ‘locked in a box at the bottom of a lake’ thing.
Elena is helping Jeremy prepare an explanation as to how he is still alive, so that he can get back to school. She is concerned about leaving him alone to go to college, but Damon says he’ll look after him.
Elena and Caroline arrive at uni accompanied, unbeknownst to them, by the invisible Bonnie. Their dorm room is definitely far, far nicer than any student accom I’ve ever seen.
They are about to settle down for a celebratory drink from a blood bag when they are interrupted by their new roommate! This can’t end well.
Jeremy is back at school, winning friends by sitting alone in a classroom talking to a ghost. This boy sure knows how to fit in! He really wants Bonnie to tell Elena that she’s dead.
Elena is chatting to Damon on the phone. He neglects to tell her that Katherine has just shown up in his living room.
Matt is back in Mystic Falls. He is interrupted from some exciting keg tapping for a quick makeout sesh with Rebekah. Silas arrives at the park party and says hello to Sherriff Forbes by cutting open her wrist and dripping some blood into a cup. He is surprisingly forthright about who he is. Paul Wesley looks like he’s having a blast being a bad guy. Once he’s done filling up his hemoglobin Slurpee he heads off, but not before wiping her memory of the incident.
Caroline and Elena’s new roommate seems really nice. I hope she doesn’t get murdered and/ or turn out to be evil. A handsome stranger invites the three gals to a party.
Jeremy is not at all good at fitting in at school. Some jerks push him around so he proceeds to beat the living hell out of them in the middle of the hallway. On the plus side, man can that boy fill out a shirt!
Katherine is getting drunk. She’s pretty miserable. Damon offers to turn her, but she isn’t sure if that’ll work now that she’s taken the cure. They get a call, which Katherine answers pretending to be Elena. Jeremy has been expelled. Already. Also Katherine is pretty upset that she has blisters. She begs Damon for help.
Stefan is still banging at his underwater prison. He is hallucinating having a convo with Damon. DreamDamon is telling him to turn off his humanity, but he isn’t having any of it.
New roomie has vervain in her fridge! Caroline wants to tie her up until the vervain wears off, but Elena wants to give her the benefit of the doubt and act normal. They head to the party, where the cute flyer guy says hi to them again. Their plan to act normal hits a bump when they realize that they can’t get into the house without an invitation.
Damon is scolding Jeremy about getting expelled, when ‘Stefan’ arrives.
Caroline and Elena get a call from their roomie Meghan. She is distressed and being chased but they can’t help because they can’t get inside. She gets flung out a window and they find fang marks on her neck.
Damon and Stef-ganger sit down for a vaguely antagonistic drink. Jeremy realizes that it’s Silas because of hunter voodoo or something. They figure out that he was looking for Katherine.
She is having a bath when Silas arrives. He attacks her but she manages to get away. Jeremy rushes her off while Damon stays to distract Silas.
The campus security rule Meghan’s death a suicide, but Elena and Caroline are far from convinced.
Silas sits down for a pretty casual chat with Damon, and explains how the whole Doppelganger thing works. Silas says that he’ll tell him where Stefan is if he gives him Katherine. He calls up Jeremy and tells him to bring her back. She is not too happy about this, and they crash the car in the struggle.
Matt is still here. He sees the chick from his European threesome. Apparently she stole his Gilbert ring. She says she’s here to return it. As she puts it on his finger someone grabs him from behind puts some kind of spell on him.
Elena and Caroline get back to their room and find all of Meghan’s stuff gone. They search through her phone and find a picture of her with Elena’s (deceased) father.
Jeremy is looking a lot worse for wear at the car crash site. He asks Katherine to help him but she runs off. Ghost Bonnie is not happy about it! Damon shows up to give him some vamp blood. Damon is has a lot of brotherly concern for poor old Jer. Luckily the blood takes effect and he wakes up.
Caroline gets a very unsurprising voice message from Tyler telling her that he won’t be back for a while. She’s pretty cut up about it.
Stefan is still talking to DreamDamon, who is still trying to make him turn off his humanity. He is about to give in when DreamElena shows up to preach the opposite.
Damon gives Elena a call where he tells her a whole lot of nothing about what has been happening.
Back in town the mayor is interrupted from making a speech about family by Silas who gets on stage and starts using mind control on the whole town. He then proceeds to cut Bonnie’s dad’s throat in front of everyone, before ordering them all to find Katherine.
This show sure knows how to run through a whole season’s worth of plot points in one episode!