Previously on The Vampire Diaries, ‘Woke up With a Monster’
Caroline is asleep at her mother’s side when she is alarmed by noises from downstairs. She goes to investigate and finds Colin, the cancer patient from Duke, at her back door. He remembers her name and he’s pissed. Stefan arrives to help assess the situation and he wonders how Colin found Caroline after he’d been compelled to forget their interaction. Stefan has a hunch; he opens the curtains and Colin’s skin starts to smoke under the sun’s rays. They’ve discovered what we knew all along: Caroline’s blood is definitely not the cure.
Elena is getting ready for her shift at the hospital. Most people would take the day off after being held hostage by a psycho killer but Elena’s work ethic is unparalleled. Speaking of psycho killers, why did Kai have that calculator under his arm? He doesn’t look like he’s in any shape to be doing late night equations.
Damon shows up for Kai-sitting duty and proposes that he and Elena go for Italian food and to see a French film. Somehow Elena guesses that this is something they’ve already done and while she does want to go on a date, she wants it to be something fresh and new.
Tyler and Liv are fantasizing about spring break vacation destinations when Mr. Parker shows up at her dorm room. Tyler hides behind the door and looks confused when Liv accepts a birthday gift from her father.
At the hospital, Jo’s in witch mode attempting to bring a plant back to life but fails miserably. Elena tries to boost Jo’s spirits by reassuring her the new daylight ring she made for her works just fine. If I were Elena, I’d be looking for Liv to make me a backup just in case. Stefan arrives with a very sickly looking Colin and Jo’s back to doctor mode.
Jo discovers that Caroline’s blood caused Colin’s death and he’s now a stage 10 cancer patient – not really a thing – who’s also a vampire. This means his senses are heightened so he’s feeling pain at what must be an excruciating level. Jo mentions that he can’t die but what about a wooden stake? That sunlight earlier looked pretty uncomfortably fatal. I don’t understand the reasoning for this dialogue. What I do understand is that this is likely the same fate that awaits Mama Forbes.
Outside the hospital Elena tries to blame Stefan for Caroline’s actions; he’s so old he should have known better. I was glad that Stefan didn’t skip a beat in reminding her how rational she acted when Damon died. That made me laugh!
Jo has an idea so crazy it just might work. If they can do a full body blood transfusion to replace the vampire blood with human blood, Liz may have a shot at a less horrible outcome than poor Colin.
Stefan and Caroline find Colin trying to stab himself in his hospital room. He says he can feel his tumors growing and he just wants to die. Out of nowhere, Colin’s heart is ripped out – looks like he can die after all. Honestly, where did Damon come from? Caroline closed the door when they came in the room and Damon was just out in some other hallway with Elena. I don’t think we can chalk this strange editing up to vamp speed. Damon tells them that the blood transfusions didn’t work and Caroline says what everyone else was thinking: she has killed her mother.
So I know Colin had terminal cancer and he wasn’t living the high life or anything but it seems so callous the way his story is treated. Does Caroline not care at all that she made this guy suffer way more than he had to? Yikes.
Elena happens to be with Liz when she wakes up, and has to be the one to tell her that the transfusions didn’t work. That and she can’t find Caroline anywhere.
Stefan finds Caroline at a flower shop already planning for her mother’s funeral. This was one of the better scenes in this episode because it honestly felt like something Caroline would do. We’ve seen her plan a million school dances and Mystic Falls events and it makes sense, in a very sad way, that this is where Caroline’s mind would take her. Stefan shares a story of when his mother was ill and how he avoided spending time with her until it was too late to even say goodbye. Though Caroline feels like she can’t face her mother after what she’s done, the story is enough to convince her that she should at least try.
Luke and Liv have gone to dinner with their father in the hopes that they’ll be able to reason with him about the merge and persuade him that Jo can win with just a bit more time to practice. Liv has specifically asked Tyler not to get involved which is precisely why we find him trying to set Kai free so that he can merge with Jo anyways, leaving Liv and Luke off the hook. He just doesn’t understand the whole Kai is very dangerous aspect of all this, does he? Luckily, Damon arrives in time to intervene but something changes his mind. He decides to drug Tyler and let Kai wake up from his sedation.
Damon calls Twinderella – definitely the best name for Liv so far – from Tyler’s phone and asks to speak with her father. He knows that tonight’s celestial events are perfect for a merge ceremony and he had better get his blonde twins to merge because Kai is about to be on the loose.
Damon has set Kai free so that he can siphon the magic out of Liz’s blood. While I’m tempted to say that this is typical for Damon, to be motivated in the wrong direction by selfish reasons, it feels too ridiculous to me. After everything that Kai put both him and Bonnie through in retro realm and more recently put Elena through, it just doesn’t sit right with me that he would do this for Liz. No offense, Liz. He’s also risking another fallout with Alaric if Kai finds Jo before the wonder twins can merge because we all know she’s not ready. Elena seems too calm about it all as well. Usually she’s at least angry with Damon for a minute or two before giving in to the plan. At least she makes him explain the situation to Jo.
Kai is successful with the siphoning, but it leaves Liz weak and she goes into cardiac arrest. Kai disappears from the room and cloaks himself long enough to reach Damon and snap his neck. Kai wonders why Jo isn’t running away but she’s sick of this shit and she’s ready to take him on.
Mr. Parker tells the twins that he’ll consider their idea, after all they are family and they at least deserve that. He takes their hands in his and uh oh, did they forget their father was crazy? I guess he can force them to merge and he’s doing so until Tyler shows up and knocks him out. Luke looks like he’s been inspired by something his father said and he takes off.
Jo and Kai are preparing for their own ceremony, but before things get underway Luke interferes. He tells Kai that they have the same bloodline and because of his extended stay in hell they’re theoretically the same age now, so why don’t they merge. Kai starts laughing at him and there was one of those inappropriate moments where I also found myself chuckling. Kai says no thanks, but Luke is actually strong enough to force him into it, for a moment there I thought he might have a chance.
Back at the hospital a doctor is doing what he can to help save Liz, but it’s not looking good. In between shocks we see what’s happening in Liz’s subconscious. It was touching at first – she’s packing a suitcase and filling it with keepsakes like Caroline’s first shoes and baby pictures. Shock. Then she calls out to Caroline that she’s leaving and it’s time to say goodbye. Shock. Just as the doctor says she’s gone Caroline rushes in begging for her mother not to die. Then the subconscious took a strange turn. Liz approaches her daughter to say goodbye and Caroline turns around all vamp-faced with blood around her mouth. Liz wakes up. What the hell does this even mean?
Then the stupidest part of this entire season happens – and I’m counting the party at the swimming hole. Elena decides that, immortal or not, life’s too short and she wants to be with Damon. So she kisses him. Uh, ok? I’m just not convinced that we’ve seen enough happen between the two of them to warrant this change of heart. Like she mentioned earlier this episode, she doesn’t even remember what they used to have. It’s just disappointing to see it go down like this.
While Caroline is out getting coffee for her mama, Liz makes sure that Stefan will be there for Caroline when she dies. She’s going to need someone to help her move on and she wants it to be Stefan. He promises to do so.
Damon arrives to the scene of the merge to find both Kai and Luke unconscious. Jo holds Luke and hopes for him to wake up, feeling guilty that he risked his life for her. Damon offers his blood, but Jo says that it’s up to fate now: Whoever wakes up is the winner of the merge. No offense, Luke, but I was damn pleased to see Kai stand up and walk away victorious!
Unfortunately, this episode just didn’t do it for me. Character motivations and attitudes felt wonky, certain scenes just missed their mark, and even though two fairly big events happened I felt pretty bored for the most part. It’s as if the show built up all this momentum and then didn’t know what to do with it. Oh, and I guess everyone forgot about Bonnie. That’s some bullshit! They haven’t even mentioned her for the past two weeks. Sigh.