Previously on The Vampire Diaries, ‘Fade Into You’
I feel like I’m missing something, so please help me out if you can. A large part of this episode revolved around how shady it was that Damon compelled Alaric into stealing the Ascendant from Jo, but why? I understand that Jo wants to keep Kai as far away from her as possible, no judgment there, but Kai already has his own Ascendant. Why has Damon failed to mention that? Kai was capable of getting out of retro realm all on his own so who cares if they use Jo’s Ascendant to free Bonnie? This and many other issues made the episode less than stellar in my books. Let’s get into it.
Alaric has prepared a romantic evening of wining and dining in order to entice Jo into giving up the Ascendant’s whereabouts. Jo makes me love her even more when she’s like, uh if this is my bottle of wine then where’s yours? But when she throws shade at her vegetarian diet, blaming it for being the reason she’s always hungry, she just sounds stupid. Trust me, it’s the pot. Speaking of pot, Jo keeps some in her underwear drawer right next to the Ascendant. Bingo! Alaric delivers the witchy relic to Damon who then compels him to forget the whole thing. Off to save Bonnie!
Jeremy seems to be sobering up and getting back on track; he’s cancelled Bonnie’s cell phone and he’s had a good long cry. Cue Elena with some “good” news. Jeremy acted as a sort of audience surrogate here when he admits his exasperation over the whole thing. Sure, Bonnie will be back and everything will be normal again! Right, because none of us have heard that one before!
Liv has agreed to help Damon and Elena in their quest to find Bonnie. Wait, what?
Why has Liv agreed to this? She’s never been BFF’s with these people and for all she knows, she could be letting her psychotic brother loose. Anyways, she gives Damon and Elena some of her blood so that they will be linked to her when she needs to bring them back and she sends them with enough blood for Bonnie as well.
Kai, who is shaping up to be one of the best villains this show has seen in a while, has made it back to the present day and is as hilarious as ever. He’s in a cab talking to the driver about all the drawbacks concerning skinny jeans that you know everyone’s thinking but never admitting to. He doesn’t have enough money to pay so he strangles the man instead with the wire of his headphones. As he’s leaving the scene of the crime we see that he’s arrived at Whitmore.
Somehow he’s discovered the bar where Liv works so he pays her a visit but she doesn’t recognize him. Turns out their father basically erased all traces of Kai, destroying pictures of him so no one would remember his face. Kai shows his ID to Liv and at first she laughs at him, thinking it’s a fake because the D.O.B. says 1972. He tells her to read the name and address and you can tell he’s having so much fun with this! Liv tries to escape but Kai has siphoned her magic and eventually corners her, ready to take her out. Just then, seemingly out of nowhere, comes Tyler to the rescue, pushing Kai off the railing allowing him and Liv to flee.
After finding the Salvatore home empty and with no Bonnie in sight, Damon teaches Elena (and anyone in the audience under 25) how a pager works, making sure to point out the worst part about using one: the waiting. In the meantime, Elena finds an old-school camcorder containing Damon’s video journal where he talks about his belief that retro realm was his own personal hell. Before she can ask Damon what this meant, Bonnie calls back. She’s in Indiana and she’s hotwired a car, which apparently solidifies her badass-ness, as if all the incredible witchy (and non-witchy) stuff she’s done before didn’t qualify her! Damon tells her to get her ass in gear; she’s got 7 hours until Liv brings them home.
While waiting for Bonnie, Damon makes Elena his famous pancakes. Elena uses the whipped cream to draw fangs on his plate, just like he would for Bonnie and the smile he shoots her is beyond adorable! Things take a turn for the worse when Elena forces Damon to come clean about how they obtained the Ascendant – again, if Damon had just told everyone about the one that Kai has this wouldn’t be such a big issue – and she is convinced that Damon is only on this mission so that Elena will fall in love with him again, no matter who is hurt in the process.
Damon finds Elena sitting outside of her not-yet-burned-down house and confesses to her about why he thought he was in his own personal hell. About how Bonnie didn’t believe it and always had hope for them to get home, that it’s because of her that he was set free, and that he’s determined to find Bonnie for Bonnie and no one else. See? It’s not always about YOU Elena…
The two share a tender moment when Elena apologizes for erasing memories that were only half hers and Damon promises they’ll make new ones. Elena starts feeling strange and before they can blame it on the decades old pancake mix, they’re back in present day. Liv and Tyler are there, explaining that Kai has returned and Liv needs to get back to Mystic Falls before he can take anymore of her magic.
For the amount of times that their plans go wrong, you’d think this gang would have started taking precautions. For example, why not leave the vial of Liv’s blood in retro realm for Bonnie and when Liv feels her connection – obviously making sure Kai is distracted or nowhere near Liv – she could hop back over the border and bring back Bonnie as well?
Hot on Liv’s trail, Kai shows up at the cemetery and smashes the Ascendant. Elena tries to gather the pieces together but Kai sets them and her arm on fire. Still retaining some of the magic he stole from Liv, Kai turns invisible avoiding an attack from Damon. Just before Elena is going to burst into flames, Damon senses Kai behind him and sends him sailing over the Mystic Falls border, rendering his magic useless. But also, as Kai charmingly points out, where no vampires can help save Liv.
When it seemed things couldn’t get worse, Alaric shows up and tells Damon that he knows about the compulsion. Jo figured that someone must have compelled Alaric to steal the Ascendant so they took a trip to the border to see if Alaric would gain any memories. After taking a few hits to the face Damon is devastated. He’s screwed up his friendship with Ric and for nothing because Bonnie is still not home.
Kai is waiting for Tyler when he arrives at home and before Tyler can get the jump on him, he smashes a bottle and holds it to his neck. He claims that he wants to save Liv’s life and proposes an intriguing question to Tyler: “want to make a deal with the devil?” My theory here is that Kai won’t kill Liv if Tyler will help him kill Luke. In order to become the leader of the Gemini Coven, in addition to merging with Jo, he technically only needs to get rid of one of the other twins. There’s no way Liv will go for this though. Perhaps Luke and Liv will end up merging as a sacrifice to save the coven from Kai’s tyranny?
Oh right, my bad, there was some other bullshit storyline this week with the rest of the crew but it was so boring I almost forgot. Basically we find out that Sarah, whose real name is Monique, isn’t a Salvatore. She met the real Sarah at summer camp and stole her identity because she had a shitty childhood in foster homes and wanted a better family. I can’t blame her for wanting that but I can blame the writers for introducing such a terrible throwaway character. RIP Sarah Monique.
I suppose if Enzo was on to something and there truly is a bigger secret behind the story of the real Sarah, then maybe something can be salvaged from this wreck. Otherwise what in the entire fuck was that? And poor, sexy Enzo, not even his clever one-liners can save this plot! Plus where is this vampires vs. humans thing going to go? Matt seems to agree that Stefan is just as terrible as Enzo because they’re both guilty of killing people and putting the lives of vampires before humans. But how far will Matt follow that logic? Will it extend to Elena or Caroline?
And speaking of Caroline, where the hell was she? Right now I feel supremely disappointed. This episode was such a let down, especially after waiting an extra week for it! I have really been enjoying this season’s story but unfortunately this episode made no damn sense. I mean, The Vampire Diaries doesn’t always make the most sense but I can forgive the plot holes and convenient storylines because usually the result is pretty decent. This week I’m just fed up. Kai’s witty banter, Damon’s hot self, and the few glimpses we saw of Bonnie were the only things keeping this episode from scoring zero. Here’s hoping next week’s winter finale is better because otherwise I’m going to be feeling how Liv’s blood tastes: bitter.