Previously on The Vampire Diaries, ‘Live Through This’
Three years from now
Ric is Caroline’s fiancé. Didn’t see that one coming! I have no idea how we’ll get there, but since I’m already over Caroline and Stefan, I’m here for the ride. Can’t wait to find out what the urgent, publicly broadcasted message for Stefan is.
Looks like mom raised her man crush from the dead
Lily decides to throw a party in an effort to broker peace between her heretics and the remaining habitants of Mystic Falls. Since that small number of people wouldn’t make for much of a party, she compels a bunch of humans from neighboring towns to join them. Inviting these humans to a potentially very dangerous situation seems like a highly miscalculated first step at making peace, however. Luckily no one but the maid that Julian and Mary Louise eat actually gets hurt.
Damon isn’t planning on making an appearance until he learns Stefan is going to kill Julian. Damon wants to wait until Lily is feeling comfortable in her happiness before ripping it all away, but he can’t convince Stefan to play along. So, partly because he wants to keep and eye on Stefan and partly because he’s missed his bourbon stash, Damon tags along.
When Damon and Stefan bicker, it allows for the perfect blend of tension and entertainment. Their conversation about Julian, disguised as a conversation about furniture, was hilarious. The way Damon interrupts Stefan and Julian’s game of pool with the story of “the guy that tries to kill the vampire during a game of pool” was perfectly timed and just the right amount of ridiculous. It was these small details that kept the episode from being a complete failure.
When Stefan finally gets his chance to kill Julian, unfortunately, he does fail. He barely even tries and it’s kind of embarrassing. Julian was literally on fire and all Stefan had to do was stop Lily from intervening, but instead he cowers in the corner when his mother shows up. What made Stefan think he could go up against a vampire who’s way older than him? What made him think the entire band of heretics wouldn’t come after him if he succeeded? How did Stefan delude himself into thinking this was even close to a good idea? This was too dumb.
It gets worse though. Lily asks her sons just what she did so wrong for them to want to cause her so much pain. OH I DON’T KNOW, HOW ABOUT PRETENDING TO DIE AND LEAVING YOUR SMALL CHILDREN TO RUN OFF WITH VAMPIRES? Does that ring a bell, Lily? Honestly, this was so fucking stupid. Then, when Julian attacks Stefan and Damon, Lily puts a stop to it because all of a sudden she cares about her sons.
Even though I hate the way we got there, seeing Damon and Stefan bond over not being able to have kids was a nice moment. I guess if we can’t have Damon hanging with Bonnie, Stefan will make an acceptable second choice. The way Stefan tells his brother about he and Valerie’s unborn child was believable. He admits that it’s a bit unreasonable to care about this thing that happened 150 years ago, but is honest in how it’s truly affecting him. Now if he could only be this honest with Caroline.
I think I’m Florence
Faux Jo has fallen down the Internet rabbit hole that is WebMD and has settled on a self-diagnosis of amnesia. Something more serious is clearly going on though because she’s started coughing up blood. With Bonnie being busy at Lily’s peace party – and because the show needs to start building chemistry between two people who rarely have scenes together – Ric calls Caroline for help.
[pullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”#4a7097″ class=”” size=””]“It’s called dignity. Have some. It’s free” – Bonnie[/pullquote]
Caroline’s first instinct is to heal faux Jo with her blood but Jo’s body immediately rejects it. Valerie quickly catches on to what’s happening: a human body cannot survive with a vampire soul inside of it. Jo is dying. At this point the gang would typically just add another vampire to their ranks but not this time.
This was a long and twisted path for Ric, and the audience, to get some closure but it was very well executed. In her final moments, faux Jo remembers how she died and that her real name is Florence. Ric feels terrible for putting Florence through this mess, but ultimately he’s grateful he had the chance to hear Jo’s voice again and for the opportunity to say goodbye. This was such a bittersweet moment and I’m genuinely sad we’re moving forward without Jo.
We haven’t lost all of Jo, however. I knew it wasn’t impossible for those twin girls in the future to be hers! Before their demise, The Gemini Coven performed a spell to save Jo’s unborn babies. Somehow, those babies ended up inside Caroline. The Vampire Diaries is doing Jane the Virgin, but with a magical twist. I can already see the #TeamRic and #TeamStefan wars that are no doubt imminent.
- The classroom full of humans being harvested for their blood was a pretty cool development. Hopefully this leads to something interesting, and maybe Matt and Bonnie will get a cool storyline with it. I’m not getting my hopes up though.
- Was Bonnie into that moment she had with Enzo? She had that cute little smirk on her face after he walked away. I just want Bonnie to be happy, so however that happens I’m game.
- Julian wants to protect himself from Damon and Stefan, but whatever he’s planning will take cooperation from the whole family. I hope his ass goes back inside the stone.
The Vampire Diaries S7E6
Why is this show so against Bonnie and Damon having scenes together? Since the premiere they’re time on screen with one another has gradually been reduced, and in this episode they didn’t say one damn word to each other. I know a Bamon romance is just wishful thinking, but why can’t they even be friends? What a waste of chemistry.
Instead of allowing us to watch Damon and Bonnie’s greatness, this show would rather have us watch Caroline get stupider and stupider by the week. I call so much bullshit on Caroline agreeing to help Valerie just because Stefan says, “maybe you can trust me that I know what I’m doing.” As soon as Valerie let it slip that Stefan was keeping a huge secret from her, she should have ditched the heretic. You know why Caroline went along with it? Because Valerie was integral to the Jo and Ric storyline: so, reasons. Caroline’s character was compromised for plot, which is just horribly lazy.
Instead of spending time with characters we know and love – or, here’s a grand idea: developing the new ones in interesting ways – The Vampire Diaries would rather torture us with yet another argument about clothing. Three out of six episodes have included a disagreement between Nora and Mary Louise about what they’re wearing. What a mess.
The best part of this episode – aside from the goodbye between Jo and Ric – was when Damon had Lily’s underwear on the edge of a sword, and was comically thrusting it towards Stefan. And that had absolutely nothing to do with anything. It’s a good thing this show has a strong handle on quip-y banter.