Previously on The Walking Dead, ‘JSS’
Unless you’re brand new, you know these recaps are just that: recapturing what happened in the episode and that means spoilers. If you haven’t seen last night’s episode, turn back now.
This episode is appropriately titled because I want to thank Scott Gimple and whoever else decided to maybe-kill Glenn. It inspired such internet rage and I love internet rage. I moisturize with it daily. Between that and the fact that black don’t crack, y’all don’t even realize I’m actually 72-years-old.
It’s not so much that people disagree on whether or not he’s actually dead – debating ambiguous scenes is fun – but some folks are acting like it’s so out-of-the-question that others may have doubts that they’re going so far as to call people who disagree stupid. STAHP. I see you, internet. I’ve seen some of your own predictions and believing that the guts we saw eaten were Nicholas’ (Seriously, why would Glenn’s intestines be in his chest cavity?) and that Glenn could roll under a dumpster (like Rick rolled under that tank moments before “meeting” Glenn for the first time) is no more or less stupid than anything you’ve predicted.
Glenn’s maybe-death is no different than Judith’s bloody car seat, Daryl being attacked by a walker from behind only to cut back and show Daryl working the dead walker like a zombie puppet and using it as a shield, and Tyreese’s ain’t-no-way-in-hell escape from a small mob of walkers when he only had a hammer. The difference here is that the show found a way to be more convincing than they’ve been previously, and you fell for it. Maybe.
Either way, I was highly entertained and I’m okay with either outcome. Just stop threatening to leave the show ’cause you know yo ass ain’t going nowhere.
“They walk; we run.”
Now that half the herd is making its way towards Alexandria, following the blaring horn, Rick and crew take off on foot, through the woods, trying to get ahead of them and look for other ways to distract them away from home.
Rick is joined by tried-and-true Michonne and Glenn, and random Alexandrians who are too stupid to live. No, really. They’ve written these people comically bad at living life.
Annie: Trips, falls, and twists her ankle because of course she does. Damn our dainty little lady ankles!
Sturgess: Accidentally shoots Scott (Sasha’s real-life husband, Kenric Green) in the leg and then takes off running, gripping Dale’s Gone Fishing hat to his head and his tail between his legs.
Finger-Pointer: Blames Rick for everything, loudly. Then, when no one is looking, he gets caught in a lover’s embrace with a walker. HOW SWAY? How is that even possible? They were spooning on the ground.
Newlywed Guy: He gets attacked by that rare stealthy walker that six other people didn’t notice until it was taking a chunk out of his back.
That’s who Glenn and Michonne are left with (including Nicholas and Heath) while Rick lone-wolfs it to the RV. He warns them that the Alexandrians are pretty much useless and they’ll most likely have to leave some of them.
We just knew none of this shit was going to end well.
Daryl the Flat-Leaver
Despite the fact that they’ve only led the herd 5 miles into the 20-mile plan, Daryl wants to head home to help out with whatever is going down there, but Abraham and Sasha insist on completing the mission. Sasha points out that without him, she and Abraham might be in trouble. Daryl listens, digests, and then does what the fuck he wanted to do anyway.
Sasha watches him ride off like, “Word? It’s like that?”
On the road, bitten Newlywed tells Michonne about being found by Aaron when he had stopped being a person. At Alexandria, Betsy became his first friend. The first one to see him as a person still. They’ve only been married for three months.
Michonne can relate because that is TOTALLY her and Rick. Well, okay, it’s really her and Andrea, but Andrea fucked around and got herself killed messing with the Governor, so…
The group stops in a small town to look for a vehicle, but have no luck. It’s the same area as Nicholas’ last run before our group arrived – the run in which he and Aidan left people to die. Nicholas takes over in leading the group home from there. On the way, they find Sturgess’ stupid hat and then Sturgess’ stupid body being eaten by fifty-leven walkers.
Nicholas becomes increasingly more unstable, needing Glenn to “snap him out of it.” When they encounter more walkers, the group hides in a pet store.
So, didn’t they plan this whole mission with a big-ass map? Did no one think to bring the map on the dry run? Was that the only map and they left it behind? Why is everyone, including Nicholas, so confused by their whereabouts?
Plans Just Get Worse
Glenn has the bright idea to set a nearby building on fire to stop the approaching herd in their tracks. His idea, so he’s going to carry it out despite Michonne’s protests. Nicholas volunteers to help and points out there’s a feed store close by that should burn well. Before they head out, Glenn radios Rick to update him on the plan. Rick is too busy running his ass off in cowboy boots (ouch!) and getting sliced on the hand by a butcher knife protruding from a walker (double ouch!). If Rick doesn’t see smoke set from the fire, then he knows the herd is still coming his way.
“Good luck, dumbass.”
Michonne realizes that Heath has a problem because he overheard Rick’s “Sucks to be y’all slow asses” speech. Michonne assures him they’re not about randomly leaving people either, but they’ve had to make the hard choices and they know what they’re doing. Heath tries to compare his little pussy-runs with what Michonne and crew have been through and she’s like, “Boy, bye,” and offers him a stadium of seats.
Glenn and Nicholas come across a walker trapped under a car. It’s someone who died because Nicholas and Aiden left him, so Nicholas feels like he’s the one who should show him mercy. Glenn assures Nicholas he’s not that guy anymore. For the record: I do think Nicholas has shown nothing but the willingness to change and not be a human shit-stain.
When they hear gunfire from Alexandria, they put a little pep in their step to get Operation: Burn Shit Down underway.
A small herd passes by the pet shop, drawn by the gunfire. Michonne says they’ll stay put until they pass and then head for the feed store.
Show of hands: Who else thought Annie was going to knock over those dog cages and fuck everything up?
Newlywed writes a “Betsy, if you’re reading this I’m dead” letter and hands it to Michonne. She writes on her arm that he’s going home. He can say goodbye to Betsy himself. At that moment, we all knew that Newlywed was not making it home.
Turns out, they didn’t need to make another Alexandrian do something incredibly dumb. Two walkers who, for some reason, were chilling quietly in the next room start banging on a door and this draws the walkers outside to the front door of the pet shop.
Meanwhile, Rick makes it to the RV, fires it up, and heads to meet the approaching herd.
Dropping Like Flies
They’re forced to leave the pet store, and Annie goes down almost immediately. She’s eaten alive.
Glenn and Nicholas make it to the feed store, but it’s already burned down. Who did that? They run from approaching walkers on several sides and end up in an alley with a fence blocking their way. Also blocking their way: walkers on the other side of the fence.
Michonne and the others also get trapped in an alley because of course they do. Heath and Scott make it over their fence, but Michonne and Newlywed get stuck with walkers pulling at their feet. Eventually, Newlywed becomes newly dead and Michonne makes it over. Then everyone spends way too damn long watching this poor man get eaten. Spare a bullet for the brother, please!
He Not Dead, Y’all
So, Glenn and Nicholas fire at the walkers until they’re out of bullets and then they stab at them until they’re out of steam. Finally, they climb atop a garbage dumpster and try to kick at the walkers nipping at their heels.
Nicholas, who was already unraveling, can’t take it anymore. He spaces out and when Glenn calls him out of it, he thanks Glenn and then shoots himself in the head. His body falls into the sea of walkers, taking a stunned Glenn with him.
Nicholas lands on top of Glenn, who screams and cries as the walkers feast on someone’s insides.
I don’t think Glenn is dead, but I will go over that on tonight’s podcast.
This Is Why You Don’t Let Murderers Walk, Morgan
Even though they don’t see the smoke, Michonne holds out hope that Glenn and Nicholas made it.
Rick arrives at the point where he expects to run into one of the herds to lead them to the group with Sasha and Abraham. He radios this and Sasha is like, “You hear that, Daryl? You flat-leaver!”
Rick explains, over the gunfire at Alexandria, that going back would be for them, but continuing the mission would be what’s truly best for the people at home.
Rick is about to jump on the radio again when two men enter the RV, one shooting at him. It’s the assholes Morgan let walk up outta Alexandria. *sigh*
Rick takes them out ’cause he’s a fucking G and fires wildly into the side of the RV when he spots others trying to sneak up on the door. He found some baby food in one of the dead guy’s pockets so he knows this group has been to Alexandria.
Once he tries to start the RV, it won’t. Could it have something to do with firing into the side of it? Probably not, but it doesn’t matter because it’s not starting and the herd has caught up.
It’s not all bad news though. Daryl did the right thing and returned to Sasha and Abraham.
Leave your thoughts on the episode below and we’ll read them on tonight’s podcast. Do you think Glenn is dead?
The Walking Dead S6E3
Upon a re-watch everyone’s decisions don’t seem that stupid, but still… there were some pretty dumb calls. Rick should have taken someone with him. The “let’s slow down to find a building to burn” plan would have been okay if they had maybe, I don’t know, burned down the building they were in and kept it moving. However, every plan isn’t going to go perfectly – even the best laid ones so I’ll deal.
Overall, great episode with lots of zombie action. Can’t wait to see how this herd situation resolves, but it looks like next week’s 90-minute episode is all flashback to Morgan’s time after ‘Clear,’ so wait I shall.