Previously on The Walking Dead, ‘Now’
This damn show.
This was an episode. It had sets, actors, and dialogue. Things happened. Things were said. People died. That’s about all I can say.
Who asked for this?
Anyway, let’s get on with it:
Sasha and Abraham are separated from Daryl when gunmen fire at them after completing their shepherding mission.
Daryl crashes his bike, and ends up in the woods where we all know Daryl feels most comfortable.
He gets jumped by a guy and two girls on the run from a dangerous group. While he’s knocked out, Daryl overhears bits of conversation: something about outposts, Daryl possibly being a soldier to the guy in charge who he probably hates, the male captor knows how to use the crossbow, and they’re going to pick up someone named Patty.
I think one of the girls is named Honey. At least that’s what my close-captioning said. I just kept calling the guy Meth Teeth, but he’s credited as “D.”
Daryl makes absolutely no effort to explain that he’s not apart of the group the trio is running from. None. Like, AT ALL.
They walk through the woods, which have been burned to hell and back, and Meth Teeth and Honey talk about how they set the fire to kill walkers. This was early into the apocalypse and they assumed that’s what everyone was doing: fighting and fighting together. Eventually they got the memo that some people were just out there for themselves.
They expected to find Patty in a parking lot filled with fuel trucks, but instead they found fuel trucks and walkers. The Sugar (Tina, but I’m calling her The Sugar) chooses then to pass out and Daryl takes off with the bag.
Meanwhile, Sasha and Abraham seek shelter in a military recruitment office after leaving a trail for Daryl to follow. Abraham is antsy. Wants to kill a walker which poses no immediate threat. Can’t stand still. He bemoans their current situation and Sasha points out that he voluntarily came along. He seems to think his current mental state is similar to Sasha’s but she’s all, “Um, I’m fine, boo. I was trippin’ for a minute, but I’m all good. And you can be, too.”
Abraham leaves to play Twister with a walker hanging from an overpass.
Then he scores some rockets, which might have come in handy when dealing with the Governor and his tank, but not so much in Alexandria, where I am certain someone will manage to blow themselves (and the entire subdivision) sky fucking high. The Alexandrians are worthless, is what I’m getting at.
In the woods, after taking way too damn long to pull it out of the bag, Daryl uses his crossbow to kill an approaching walker who had a serious gangsta lean. Daryl goes back to Meth Teeth, Honey, and The Sugar because in the bag he found insulin, which The Sugar needs. Daryl rightfully recognizes this was probably a dumb thing to do. Glad we didn’t have to be the ones to say it, Daryl.
Daryl is about to tell his ex-captors to kick all the rocks, but the men chasing them arrive in a vehicle, and Daryl is the only one with sense enough to hide. He overhears the threats these men, led by a guy named Wade, make.
Honey insists they earned what they took, but Wade says they owe for the gas and time it took to come find them. And I’m like, “Will y’all stop fucking yelling and giving up your position?” With Daryl’s help, they find another hiding spot and Daryl lures one of the guys right into the arms of a trapped Walker. That fool must be from Alexandria.
The guy is bitten on the arm and he screams for Wade, who comes over and promptly cuts the bitten arm off at the elbow. Then he tells Righty to “walk it off.” They’re presumably heading back to their camp where the leader only wants “ass that’s willing.” Lovely.
At the office, Abraham returns with the fruits of his stupidity. He tells Sasha he’s okay now. He knows he’ll die someday, but has plans to keep on living till then. He also has plans to get up in Sasha’s drawers, and she doesn’t say no. Welp! Didn’t see that coming.
She tells him he has things to take care of first. He admits he does. And I’m all, “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?”
The Sugar had a haircut like Holly and I’m not entirely convinced it’s not the same actress because why the fuck not? We won’t be seeing either of them again because The Sugar decided to lay flowers on the bodies of two people she knew in a burned out hut, and those people were walkers who just so happened to lie completely still and quiet until she got right up on them. Then she was considerate enough to lie smack dab between them so they could get equal access to her major neck arteries.
Bye, The Sugar. We hardly knew ye. Also, this is why you don’t go setting forest fires, dumbasses.
As they bury the bodies, Daryl decides to ask the three questions. Meth Teeth has killed dozens of walkers, and no people because once you kill, there’s no going back. A message this show keeps driving home EVERY OTHER FUCKING EPISODE. Anyway, looks like Daryl is bringing home two strays.
Whoa, not so fast. Meth Teeth and Honey pull the gun Daryl was nice enough to return, and take his bike and crossbow. Daryl taunts him, wondering if he’s going back to be safe and presumably kneel which is a thing with Wade’s folks. The man who just said he wouldn’t kill anyone fires a shot over Daryl’s head to show he means business, and Daryl doesn’t even flinch cause he’s a motherfucking G.
Daryl still has the little figurine Meth Teeth whittled so take that, Meth Teeth! You may have taken his ride and weapon, but he has your tiny Stormtrooper, or whatever.
Daryl finds a truck, cause he’s the luckiest bastard in the zombie apocalypse, and then he finds Sasha and Abraham, who was playing military dress up. They head home, and Daryl once again tries to radio home. Rick doesn’t answer, but a man’s voice asks for help.
The Walking Dead S6E6
I don’t even know what to say. It was okay. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great. It just happened. I cannot wait for shit to happen that I actually care about.