Sweet Lord Jesus. This show makes no damn sense and Gimple needs to be fired.
Rick and the Junkyardigans
Rick and the Junkyardigans arrive at the Sanctuary to find what he already knew when he looked through the scope of that rifle last week: someone lured the herd away and the Saviors got out. Some are still inside though, and they take shots at Rick and company, forcing him to find cover. He barks orders to Jadis and her people, but they’re already halfway up the road and on their way home. So, all that time we spent watching Rick try to convince them to join was for nothing. Rick is rescued by Carol and Jerry, and they eventually split up to warn the others.
There’s a flashback to the moments after Rick sent Siddiq running with his warning shots. Carl explains to his father that hoping people make it won’t be enough. They have to be fighting for something. They can’t kill everyone. At some point, they’re going to have to figure out a way to live with some of the Saviors because they all can’t be bad. This is a great conversation and Carl has valid points. These are the kinds of things they should be discussing in moments other than quick flashbacks to set up a character’s upcoming death. Why this show is so afraid to slow the fuck down and let these characters have meaningful conversations is beyond me. This and the debates between Jesus, Tara, Morgan, and Maggie are things that should have been discussed when they were making this plan. Instead, they’re forced to question each other while bullets are literally flying and it inevitably leads to several members of the team doing their own thing, and usually to the detriment of the group as a whole.
I hope they all die.
Enid and Aaron
Enid and Aaron are headed to Oceanside for reasons. This was not part of the plan. They’re just going because Aaron is sad. They’re going to drop in on a community of women who were very much about shooting first and asking questions never; a community of women they strong-armed into giving up all of their weapons – weapons they won’t be returning as promised. Almost immediately, Enid is forced to shoot and kill Meemaw so something tells me the rest of Oceanside won’t be too receptive to whatever the hell it is that brought Aaron and Enid there to begin with.
But at least they brought a truck of liquor so Oceanside will have plenty to pour out in honor of their dear, departed Meemaw. I guess.
Daryl, Michonne, Tara, and Rosita
Negan shows up at Alexandria and gives them three minutes to open up the gates before he goes scorched earth. Carl ushers almost everyone into the sewers (where he’s been letting Siddiq stay) and heads to the gates to offer himself up to Negan.
Meanwhile, Daryl, Rosita, Michonne, and Tara lead a caravan out the back way, barreling through a Savior barricade that’s purposely made flimsy because Dwight is in charge. Dwight then leads his Saviors into an ambush where Daryl and the others open fire. Dwight eventually has to shoot some of his own, and his cover as a mole is effectively blown. The one Savior who gets away will make sure of that. Daryl asks if it was his stupid actions that led to the Savior’s escape. Nope. It was Eugene. Dwight is spared and promises that he and Daryl can settle up once Negan is defeated for good.
The most offensive part of this? Rosita decides that even if Daryl and Tara’s plan was the cause of the Savior’s escape, it doesn’t matter because sometimes they all need to fuck up to learn a lesson. And that’s why the writing on this show has been trash; they keep giving themselves permission to recycle the same storylines and giving their characters permission to repeat the same stupid moves without ever learning a lesson.
I hope they all die.
Eugene can’t sleep. One and a half ounces of wine doesn’t help. Imagine that. He finally decides to facilitate Gabriel’s escape with the good doctor so he can return to the Hilltop and deliver Maggie’s baby three seasons from now or whenever.
So, let me get this straight: Eugene is wracked with guilt and thinks that sending Gabe and the doc into the night will assuage it, but he also came up with the plan that allowed Negan and the others to leave and rain down holy hellfire on the communities they belong to? How the fuck does that make any sense?
I hope Eugene dies soon, slowly, and violently.
Maggie and That Raggedy-Ass Jesus
Jerry’s car is t-boned by the Saviors.
Simon and a group of Saviors stop Maggie, Jesus, and their Hilltop caravan in the middle of the road and threaten to kill Jerry if they don’t hand over their weapons. Maggie learns that Eugene helped them escape and that the other communities are being obliterated as they speak. Hilltop will be spared because they’re the farmers, but she and the others will be made an example of if she doesn’t go along. To show he means business, Simon kills a man in the backseat of Maggie’s car. Maggie has no choice.
When she returns to Hilltop, she puts a hot one in one of the Savior prisoners as retribution for the man Simon killed. She instructs Jesus to leave a message where the Saviors will find it: they got more hostages and she’s not afraid to kill them all. Hilltop prepares to be a place the others can rally to if they make it out of Alexandria and the Kingdom alive. Jesus tsk-tsks the whole time cause he’s the fucking feds.
Gavin is in charge of gathering the Kingdom. When he can’t find Ezekiel, Gavin warns the people of the Kingdom that they’ll all be sorry if they don’t turn him in. Gavin really is just middle management who doesn’t want to do this shit, but here we are.
Ezekiel creates a diversion and provides his people with weapons and a way to escape, but he locks himself in with the Saviors as Carol helplessly watches. Ezekiel may not be out completely, because Morgan is on the other side of the wall listening as Gavin tells of Negan’s plan to string Ezekiel up on the Saviors’ gate.
Once Daryl’s crew crashes through Dwight’s barricade, Negan realizes Carl’s offer was really about being a distraction. As the Saviors fire over the walls, Carl limps around the subdivision making damn sure the Saviors aren’t able to set down roots in any of their fine houses before finally heading into the sewers.
When Rick arrives, he finds Negan in his house and the two fight briefly before Rick runs off to find his family. He finds Michonne and the two eventually make their way into the sewers. Judith is fine. Carl, though, was bitten when he and Siddiq tussled with walkers a few episodes ago.
Carl deserved better than this bullshit.
Bits and Bites
I’ve committed to riding this till the wheels fall off, but… can they just pull the plug already? Killing Carl feels like an attempt to do something shocking for the sake of diverting from the comic books. And to have it happen because he went out to save a character we don’t yet give a shit about (and might not ever give a shit about) feels wrong. The way the news was sprung on Chandler Riggs is simply gross. I hope this is a blessing in disguise and he goes on to work with material worthy of his talents.
Eugene needs to be shot on sight. On.fucking.sight. Unfortunately, I bet Gabriel will be integral to Eugene’s redemption even though freeing him and doctor Carson was a tad too little too late.
Tara, Rosita, Michonne, and Daryl all live to make stupid decisions another day.
What, exactly, was the fucking plan? Even after Daryl sent the truck through the wall, why weren’t the snipers there to stop whatever the hell Eugene did? Why the hell do they refuse to tell us things that actually matter? Even on Talking Dead (which I watched about two minutes of before wanting to stab myself in the temples), Gimple couldn’t articulate how Eugene got them out. I swear to God, they better not treat us to flashbacks in February.
After Rick hit Negan in the face with Lucille, what the hell did Negan say? I’m going with sufferin’ succotash.
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