As Luna’s attacker is taken off to jail, Sam tries to get her to calm down. She wants to hunt down all the rednecks, but Sam tells her he’ll take care of it. After he leaves, she jumps out bed muttering that she refuses to do nothing. Then she turns into Sam.
You read that right.
The tripping vampires return to the The Authority HQ. They’re all, “Look at all the pretty rainbows.” Except Eric. He’s all, “What the fuck just happened?” He tells Bill that they didn’t really see Lilith they were just high as kites.
Jason gets Sookie to calm down and stop shooting her Fairy Shit all over the woods. He tells her that her powers brought her Bill and that a lot of other good things came from it too. Like boning Eric. OK. I added that last part.
Luna leaves the hospital looking like Sam. Jessica hooks up with a fangbanger on the dance floor at Fangtasia and leaves with him. The vampires think that seeing Lilith was a sign that killing Roman was the right thing to do. Eric leaves and it rouses suspicion.
Alcide has super hot sex with that lucky bitch whose name I still don’t know.
Salome summons Bill to her bedroom and demands that he feeds on an innocent women who pleads for her life. He has a flashback to visiting his daughter on her deathbed. She doesn’t understand how he has not aged. She pleads with him to make her like he is because she doesn’t want to die. He refuses as she begs. Back in Salome’s bedroom, Bill gives in.
Hoyt’s new redneck hate group have a surprise for him: Jessica all tied up in silver. They want him to kill her. They lock him in the room with Jessica and tell him they’re not letting him out until she’s dead.
At the fairy club, Sookie demands that the fairies help her and Jason figure out which vampire killed their parents because she’s a twat and being demanding and annoying is how she rolls.
Lafayette is driving home with his fucked up lips. He pulls over on the side of the road to apply some medicine from Jesus’ first aid kit. His lips are instantly healed and Jesus appears next to him in the passenger seat. He takes his hand and continues to drive.
Andy is trying to interrogate the redneck from the hospital, but is getting nowhere. Sam asks to be left alone with him and turns into a snake, which scares the shit out of the redneck. Luna Sam shows up and asks Andy if he’s seen the real Sam. When they go into the room, Sam starts to tell Andy that the redneck confessed to holding Jessica, but Sam loses it when he sees himself. He tries to get Luna Sam to calm down but she’s convinced she’s going to die. The funniest part of this whole scene? The shifter-hating redneck, who just moments before was all ‘fuck all shifters’ and who shot Luna episodes before, is all caught up in it, looking concerned:
Meanwhile, Andy is all….
At the bridge where their parents died, Sookie and Jason take part in some kind of ritual with the fairies and she sees what happened the night her parents were killed, but she doesn’t see the vampire’s face.
Jessica begs Hoyt to take the silver off of her, but all he wants to talk about is how she stopped loving him and fucked Jason. Hoyt and his damn need for closure. He wants to know if she’ll ever love him again. She says no. Then he helps her. She kills the one guy left, but can’t leave with Hoyt because it’s daytime.
Arlene and Holly go to Lafayette for help with Terry’s spirit/curse problem. He agrees to help if they pay him. If not, he’s off to smoke a blunt.
Andy, Sam, and Luna Sam show up to rescue Jessica. She’s worried that Hoyt isn’t with them. Sam and Luna Sam can smell that a fat woman had been in that cabin before them. Sookie remembers that the Fairy Claudine, who showed up after her parents were killed and attacked the vampire, called the vampire Warlow.
At Fangstasia, Tara encounters a racist ex-classmate from high school. When she responds to the woman’s taunt, Pam warns her to cut it out. Alcide and JD prepare to battle to be the pack leader. JD wants to go old school and hunt a human, but Alcide refuses. They fight and JD runs off. Alcide chases.
Eric tells Nora that he saw Godric the night before when they were tripping balls and that Godric was disgusted by what they were doing. Nora says that Godric was a weak apologist before he died and pretty basically, “Fuck Godric.”
Sam cradles Luna Sam and she’s afraid she’s about to die. Just before we can get grossed out by seeing Sam kiss himself, Luna Sam changes back to Luna and then vomits.
Alcide catches up with JD before he can eat the human he was chasing. Then JD whips Alcide’s ass. I call bullshit on that, but whatever. Before JD can kill Alcide the pack shows up and Martha pleads with JD. He tells Alcide to find a new pack.
Pam surprises Tara with her ex-classmate tied up in the basement. She glamours the woman to believe she’s Tara’s personal blood slave. Tara feeds.
Lafayette holds a seance and is possessed by the woman who cursed Patrick and Terry. She tells them she will lift the curse if one of them kills the other and Patrick HAULS ASS.
Sookie sees a smoky face of the vampire who killed her parents and he warns that he’s coming for her. Hoyt is happy to see a familiar face, offering him a ride, until they pull a gun on him.
The vampires meet and talk about a way to get rid of mainstreamers. Bill suggests that they bomb the five True Blood factories and force the mainstreamers to feed on humans.
“What are you doing?” Eric asks Bill.