Previously on True Blood, ‘In the Evening’
So, Eric is NOT HAPPY. He wants to know if Bill foresaw Nora’s death in his visions. He did not. But mourning time is over as far as Bill is concerned because it’s time to go fight. They argue, they sneer, Bill makes Eric levitate, they start talking shit about makers and then Eric speed leaves.
Alcide’s Balls and Jason the Bone
Ricky challenges Alcide to a fight to become the new pack master. The chick they had the three-way with acts as her second and some other chick we’ve never seen before jumps in, too. One wolf asks Ricky, “Bitch, are you crazy?” Ricky says she knows she’s about to get her ass kicked, but she’s sure Alcide doesn’t have the balls to kill her.
Alcide totally starts beating Ricky’s ass and the other women’s, too. Is Ricky right? Does he not have the balls to finish her off? He does not. *sigh*
Jason’s new owner, Violet, has the cutest buck teeth, but don’t let ’em fool ya. She will kill a bitch. And she tells Jason that he is hers forever. Forever ever? Forever ever.
Let’s Make a Deal
Sookie goes back to Fairyville to feed Warlow and ask if he’ll strike a deal with Bill to help. He will, if he can have Sookie’s ass to tap whenever he wants. Forever. Forever ever? Forever ever. She says she has to think about it. Cause, you know, forever is a long time. After she leaves to ponder, Eric arrives and starts feeling around for the fairy door.
Jessica and James are basking in the afterglow of their vampire sexing. They’re interrupted though because this is the worst.vampire.prison.ever. They have to go back to their rooms because vampire sex in an unattended room free time is over. As Jessica makes her way back to female Gen-Pop, she encounters Pam who just finished bopping the doctor. She tells Jessica is was oozy, but productive.
Alcide returns Nicole and her mom to Sam, who then invites him inside Merlotte’s for a drink. I guess all is forgiven? This is bullshit.
Steve Newlin cozies up to James in male Gen-Pop and because James is a nice vamp, he warns Newlin not to drink the True Blood.
Sam sends Nicole and her mom off to bed, but does this weird sniffing thing around her. When he goes inside the bar to drink with Alcide, they have a cryptic conversation about how Nicole smells and I have no fucking idea what’s going on.
Lafayette and Arlene make up over breakfast, but the tender moment is short-lived when Lafayette breaks the news about the insurance policy. Arlene thinks about how she glamoured Terry and how fucked up it was that Andy’s daughters used to listen to his thoughts and tease him. Of course, ABCD hears that and runs out the room.
Sookie is being a spoiled fucking brat. She goes to Bill’s and thinks that telling him what Warlow wants from her is going to mean something to him. It does not. So she pouts and stomps off, saying she needs more time. Never mind the fact that her friends are going to do die. Bitch.
Nicole and her mom are preparing to leave Merlotte’s later that night, but Sam wants Nicole to stay because he loves her and she loves him, too, and they just fucking met! But anyway, mom ain’t happy because Nicole is really young and Sam has grey hair. And then Sookie walks in and spoils the sweet moment because that’s what Sookie does. She and Sam go to the back and she hugs him because they’re both sad over Terry, but then it turns into something kinda sexual because SOOKIE IS A WHORE. She shows Sam her fairy light ball and basically offers herself up to him and he’s like, “Put your fairy ball away.” Nicole is pregnant (WHAT?!) and Sookie has awful timing. She stomps out. Again.
Newlin tells on James when Sarah and company realize some vamps aren’t drinking True Blood. As a result, Sarah has them both put in the white room.
Then Sookie makes a decision to go with Warlow because she doesn’t want to rest in eternity in the ground next to her lying parents… I guess? Anyway, she goes home and leaves Jason a voicemail telling him about Terry and then she FINALLY asks about her grandfather.
The True Blood rep shows up at the vamp camp, demanding to speak to the governor. This sends Sarah off the rails and she tries to kill her once the rep sees the product being altered with Hep V. Sarah chases her through the facility and ends up killing the woman with a high heel shoe. I’m not even kidding.
Sookie Gets Whored Up
Eric finds ABCD by the graveyard making out with one of Holly’s boys. He glamours the boys and then feeds on ABCD. Andy later finds her running down the road. When is Andy going to start watching his damn kids? I mean, kid.
Because the vampires just don’t know how to behave, Newlin, Jessica, James, Violet, Pam, Willa, and Tara (basically, all the ones with names that we care about) all end up in the white room. Jessica breaks the news that they’re all gonna die in there.
Sookie gets all whored up to go meet her new man. She calls Bill and they head over to the graveyard. She transports them to Fairyville and they find that someone has already fed off of Warlow. Bill takes one look at the scene and says, “Eric.”
So, basically Eric is doing what Bill’s ass shoulda done two weeks ago?