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Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – S1E9 – Kimmy Has a Birthday!

Previously on UKS, Kimmy is Bad at Math!

Kimmy needs alcohol for her 30th birthday party and doesn’t have a current ID so tries to get strangers to buy it for her. She almost gets into a weirdo’s van, but Titus saves her from being kidnapped… again.

UKS S1E9 – Kimmy and Mr. T

“I pity the school”

Kimmy’s step-dad Randy and sister Kymmi show up to surprise her for her birthday. She doesn’t want them there and makes them leave. However, Randy can’t find the car and his 1G phone from Radio Shack doesn’t work anywhere where there are buildings so they have to come back to use Kimmy’s phone, which he then later mistakes for a chip and covers in onion dip.

UKS S1E9 – Randy and Kymmi
Logan plans to give her 30 gifts, including a dress and shoes that will make her look like those ladies that hang out under the bridge. Titus plans to write her a song as a gift, which he later regrets saying, but it just turns out being Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’. Kimmy wants Titus help setting up for the party but he says that stuff like that, and getting ice, are things boyfriends do. Both Dong and Logan show up with different forms of ice. Dong has a chunk that fell off an air conditioner and Lucas has shown up with “artisanal frozen water”, which is probably essentially four ice cubes made from fancy water in a wooden box.

“I know the exact minute I was born because it was in my mom’s lawsuit against the roller coaster.” – Kimmy

Dong also brought a gift; a bike he built himself using parts he stole from other delivery guy’s bikes. Lillian pretends to have a heart attack so he can sneak the bike inside and hide it. Kimmy assumes the bike was from Logan and Logan doesn’t correct her because he doesn’t even know what gifts he gave her because his assistant picked them out. Logan and Dong get in fight over Kimmy that ends with Dong stuck in the wall. The party comes to an end when Kymmi runs off and they have to call the police while someone has to pull Dong out of the wall. Kimmy throws everyone out.

Randy can’t find Kymmi any better than he found Kimmy when she was in the bunker. He brings home a prostitute instead and then tries to propose to her.

Kimmy realizes that she might not like this family of hers but they’re the only family she’s got. She finds Kymmi hiding out at the local Olive Garden and they share a dinner “family style”, which I don’t think is actually an Olive Garden thing, but okay.

About Patti Matteucci (265 Articles)
Patti Matteucci plays in an imaginary band in Illinois where she rocks the mic like a vandal while simultaneously cooking MCs like a pound of bacon. She is into most nerdy things but doesn’t excel enough in any to be labeled a nerd. One of her top skillz is scouring the internet for recipes, printing out a big pile, and then throwing them away before ever trying them when she remembers that you can have food made and delivered to your front door by somebody else. She is a 14 year old trapped inside a 33 year old’s body (or maybe also a 14 year old’s body) with an unabashed love for Justin Bieber and far too much time spent marrying celebrities in Sims 3.
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